We never followed the ritualistic aspect of our religion, though we are spiritual. Our kids experienced the spirituality and ethical part of our religion through us.

They married outside the religion and they have embraced our faith more after the marriage. They want to understand more and they want to practice more. They like that the religion is based on morality, equality, humanity and inquiry/skepticism.

Anonymous wrote:Op, I was raised Catholic and rebelled against it as a teenager and young adult. I would say even in denying it, I kept the values. Now that I am middle aged, I have started practicing again.

My own teenagers refuse to go to church with me and claim to be atheists. However, they do share the same values as me. I can only hope that they will share my path as they get older. I just try to lead by example. That is all I can do and respect their choices.

As far as I can tell, catholic values, besides following catholic rules re church and confession, are just like any other decent values. I'm a former catholic and my values haven't changed a bit

OP since you are Christian I am going to give a very Christianity-specific answer as someone raised in the church from birth and still practicing today:

My heart was changed by the Holy Spirit to know and love God and that was that.

My parents could have done every possible "best practice" in the "How to Raise Your Children Christian" books out there - and they do exist. In fact they did many of them. We were at church weekly, we helped out at church, we were deeply involved in our church community, we knew the doctrines of the faith inside and outside, forward and backward.

But none of that would have mattered without the conversion experience. That's just Biblical, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved."

My adult kids both self-identify as and enagage in Jewish life but it looks very different, both from my house and from each other. And that's fine with me, my goal was never to make them "do Jewish" the same way we do. I wanted them to feel a part of something bigger than themselves that could bring them comfort, community and joy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its no different than enrolling kids in catholic schools or join church choir etc. There are sports, scouting, tutoring and other fun activities too. Commuter college is mostly due to cost and marriages are often based on similar culture and ethnicity.

The difference is that OP wants advice on how to insure that this childhood indoctrination continues into adulthood.

Another difference that that in the above scenario, the parents are purposely restricting their kids so they'll remain in their childhood religion as adults.

That's pretty much the essence of it. Religion is an inheritance which some kids want and others don't. There isn't much you can do so just don't make it an obsession. Show them by your conduct and give basic knowledge of religion. Once they are adults, it's their choice, not your obligation to keep them on your track.

Agreed. It's like Grandma's china. You can pass it down to your children, but you can't make them use it.

Like grandma's china, no need to keep passing on old crap!

Continuing the Grandma's china thing - it probably isn't dishwasher-safe, making it outmoded and inconvenient. It provides many fond memories of times past but has no current use.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its no different than enrolling kids in catholic schools or join church choir etc. There are sports, scouting, tutoring and other fun activities too. Commuter college is mostly due to cost and marriages are often based on similar culture and ethnicity.

The difference is that OP wants advice on how to insure that this childhood indoctrination continues into adulthood.

Another difference that that in the above scenario, the parents are purposely restricting their kids so they'll remain in their childhood religion as adults.

That's pretty much the essence of it. Religion is an inheritance which some kids want and others don't. There isn't much you can do so just don't make it an obsession. Show them by your conduct and give basic knowledge of religion. Once they are adults, it's their choice, not your obligation to keep them on your track.

Agreed. It's like Grandma's china. You can pass it down to your children, but you can't make them use it.

Like grandma's china, no need to keep passing on old crap!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its no different than enrolling kids in catholic schools or join church choir etc. There are sports, scouting, tutoring and other fun activities too. Commuter college is mostly due to cost and marriages are often based on similar culture and ethnicity.

The difference is that OP wants advice on how to insure that this childhood indoctrination continues into adulthood.

Another difference that that in the above scenario, the parents are purposely restricting their kids so they'll remain in their childhood religion as adults.

That's pretty much the essence of it. Religion is an inheritance which some kids want and others don't. There isn't much you can do so just don't make it an obsession. Show them by your conduct and give basic knowledge of religion. Once they are adults, it's their choice, not your obligation to keep them on your track.

Agreed. It's like Grandma's china. You can pass it down to your children, but you can't make them use it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its no different than enrolling kids in catholic schools or join church choir etc. There are sports, scouting, tutoring and other fun activities too. Commuter college is mostly due to cost and marriages are often based on similar culture and ethnicity.

The difference is that OP wants advice on how to insure that this childhood indoctrination continues into adulthood.

Another difference that that in the above scenario, the parents are purposely restricting their kids so they'll remain in their childhood religion as adults.

That's pretty much the essence of it. Religion is an inheritance which some kids want and others don't. There isn't much you can do so just don't make it an obsession. Show them by your conduct and give basic knowledge of religion. Once they are adults, its their choice, not your obligation to keep them on your track.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its no different than enrolling kids in catholic schools or join church choir etc. There are sports, scouting, tutoring and other fun activities too. Commuter college is mostly due to cost and marriages are often based on similar culture and ethnicity.

The difference is that OP wants advice on how to insure that this childhood indoctrination continues into adulthood.

Another difference that that in the above scenario, the parents are purposely restricting their kids so they'll remain in their childhood religion as adults.

I agree with this assessment.

Kids raised Jewish in an interfaith household. All had a Bar/Bat Mitzva. One practices, even attends services while traveling. One doesn't - I suspect they will be fine with whatever faith their future spouse wants their new family to have (not dating anyone serious right now). 3rd still in college, occasionally attends a Hillel event, but could also be attending just for the free meal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its no different than enrolling kids in catholic schools or join church choir etc. There are sports, scouting, tutoring and other fun activities too. Commuter college is mostly due to cost and marriages are often based on similar culture and ethnicity.

The difference is that OP wants advice on how to insure that this childhood indoctrination continues into adulthood.

Another difference that that in the above scenario, the parents are purposely restricting their kids so they'll remain in their childhood religion as adults.

NP. I disagree with your characterization of OP. The OP wants to know how to encourage their kids to stay in their faith but doesn't seem like a control freak.

OP, when I was in college, the only kids who were overtly religious were a few Catholic kids who went to on-campus mass and the Jewish kids who liked the campus Jewish associations/clubs. So I would factor availability of services and associations/clubs into your campus evaluations. While not recommending wholly religious institutions. Religion has to be freely chosen to earn a permanent spot in an American family's rituals.

Anonymous wrote:Op, I was raised Catholic and rebelled against it as a teenager and young adult. I would say even in denying it, I kept the values. Now that I am middle aged, I have started practicing again.

My own teenagers refuse to go to church with me and claim to be atheists. However, they do share the same values as me. I can only hope that they will share my path as they get older. I just try to lead by example. That is all I can do and respect their choices.

\

Maybe they share your values because you demonstrated to them how to be good people, unrelated to Catholicism.

Anonymous wrote:Its no different than enrolling kids in catholic schools or join church choir etc. There are sports, scouting, tutoring and other fun activities too. Commuter college is mostly due to cost and marriages are often based on similar culture and ethnicity.

The difference is that OP wants advice on how to insure that this childhood indoctrination continues into adulthood.

Another difference that that in the above scenario, the parents are purposely restricting their kids so they'll remain in their childhood religion as adults.

I was raised Buddhist. But didn’t really understand Buddha teaching in depth. Only went to temple, give elm, prey etc.
But I was very rebellious. In the country where I came from , it has mainly Buddhist population but very opened to every other religious.

I studied all religions and was really into Christianity. I was so touched by the compassionate of Jesus Christ. I went to church, to bible studies groups Etc for years.

Then, before i intend to switch , I decided to do a deep dive study in Buddha teaching in the pali text ( Tripitaka) . It was beyond explanation, out of this world. Got me out of depression, anxiety. Make me see the life in a totally different perspective. It’s opened my eyes to see the world and myself differently. Yes I still a Buddhist. I raise my kid Buddhist as well. But not preventing him from exploring other ideas/ religions.

Op, I was raised Catholic and rebelled against it as a teenager and young adult. I would say even in denying it, I kept the values. Now that I am middle aged, I have started practicing again.

My own teenagers refuse to go to church with me and claim to be atheists. However, they do share the same values as me. I can only hope that they will share my path as they get older. I just try to lead by example. That is all I can do and respect their choices.