Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21. Had to be.

Can't if they are in grad or professional school.

They can if they work part time

Not in every program/university. The program my DD was most interested in did not allow attendees to have outside jobs. They could petition after their first year for an exception to have an outside job if they'd done an exceptional job during their first year of grad school.

What kid of program is this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One at 22 after college and one is not yet at 25.

Are you allocating $ to the 22 in equal amounts to what giving to the 25 year old or how managing that? From DCUM I have learned kids (especially adult kids) notice. What is working for you?

No. We don’t keep a separate account of the extra food we buy. Our house costs are roughly the same. Our kids are not bean counters like that. The one who has a good job is very caring towards his sibling and understands the hurdles their sibling is experiencing.

Anonymous wrote:We will pay to the best of our abilities for college and wedding. We don't consider our children launched until they are married, and even then the soft transfer of wealth starts happening much earlier.

I feel like you can't assume marriage in this day and age. If they're 40 and unmarried, you won't consider them launched?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I plan to subsidize at least a few years post graduation. Big city living is expensive even with a strong salary and DC doesn’t have to slum it with roommates that would be sad.

Slumming it w roommates is 100% the most fun part of being a young adult

+1 DS graduates in May with a good-paying job not far from our house. We'll charge him rent. But he hopes not to be there long because it will be more fun to get a group house with friends. He's just the first in his group to get a job so he has to wait until everyone else is settled to figure that out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21. Had to be.

Can't if they are in grad or professional school.

They can if they work part time

Not in every program/university. The program my DD was most interested in did not allow attendees to have outside jobs. They could petition after their first year for an exception to have an outside job if they'd done an exceptional job during their first year of grad school.

Oldest is 23 and is about 95% independent. She's still on our insurance because it's better than the one her company offers. She's also on our cell family plan. She was going to split off over the summer when she upgraded her phone but doing so made my bill increase by $50. Crazy. Keeping her with a new phone only increased it by $15. We also pay for her to come on some vacations with us (ex-paid for her flight to go skiing over Xmas with us). We've not had to help with rent, utilities, spending money, or her car since she graduated college and got a job at 22.

Next oldest is 21 and still in college. I'd say he's probably 50% independent. He works during the summer and saves all that money to use during the school year so he doesn't have to work. We pay his fraternity dues & housing fee. He's on our insurance and cell plan. This is the first year he's had a car at college. He pays for gas and routine maintenance items for it and also parking on campus. We pay for the bigger car expenses like insurance and taxes. The car is also not in his name. He uses the money he makes during the summer for clothing, entertainment, food he wants outside of what the frat provides, and any trips he wants to take outside of family vacations.

19 yo is probably 5% independent. She worked during the summer so she wouldn't have to work during college, but she didn't earn as much as her brother. She uses that money for her personal needs and we pay for everything else. She also gets $ from us each month for food because she has some odd allergies that have been triggered by the dining hall a few times this year (red 40, blue 1, pollinated fruits) as well as being a T1D. She worked over winter break and earned enough for a spring break trip in a few weeks. She has a paid internship lined up for this summer. Fingers crossed it's not gutted by Trump in the coming weeks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21. Had to be.

Can't if they are in grad or professional school.

They can if they work part time

One - 18
Two - 19 college student and still stays with me on college breaks but pays for everything for herself with her own credit card, wages and a portion of bills when home (college scholarship and 529 from relative)
Three -18 college student and same as 19 yo.

22, after college graduation. We paid for 100% of college costs and living expenses. On their own for grad school.

23

Anonymous wrote:I plan to subsidize at least a few years post graduation. Big city living is expensive even with a strong salary and DC doesn’t have to slum it with roommates that would be sad.

Slumming it w roommates is 100% the most fun part of being a young adult

I plan to subsidize at least a few years post graduation. Big city living is expensive even with a strong salary and DC doesn’t have to slum it with roommates that would be sad.

One AC started a business before graduating HS and was fully self supporting at graduation. The others were ready at college graduation. So far, other than the one who is running a business, our insurance is better than theirs and so they’ve stayed on our plan. We take care of uncovered medical. They’ve all dropped off our phone plans at this point. So far, no one has needed help. One is developing some health problems and might need some time off. If that happens we will definitely help.

Our insurance is employee + family, we don’t pay per kid, and the uncovered medical is not that significant, so I don’t really feel like we’re supporting them.

Immediately upon graduation with an amazing salary (it was a very exciting time!!). She's an accountant and passed exams last year. She plans to go to law school at some point in the next few years, so she'll need some help from us again, which is fine. She's saving half her income right now to support those few years.

Anonymous wrote:Ones who are passionate and successful in their high purpose and low paying profession, may need subsidizing beyond 30 if you or they to maintain same lifestyle they grew up with and you can afford to help.

Why should they maintain the same lifestyle if they chose a low paying profession? Life comes with tradeoffs.