Anonymous wrote:You don't demand he stay at the house. You offer to drive her.
This is it. You may have a valid concern, you may have anxiety - doesn’t really matter. If you don’t like how she is getting from point A to point B - whether that is with dad or another adult you think may be not safe, or on a school bus with a team, or with a friend who is a new driver - you drive.
This will come up more & more as she gets older & has her own life. Get used to it now - you cannot dictate what the driver offering her a ride will do. They may drive when they are tired, or drunk, or whatever. If you have a concern, just tell her, “ im happy for you to go, but taking you there.” The end - you don’t need to share with her that Dad is overtired, or her friend’s mom is a drink or whatever.
Get comfortable making these decisions without ex or DD. If you feel strongly that something is not safe, you drive until DC is able to.