Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feelings will not lessen doing the above.
Do not think about person. Do not fantasize. Do not spend more time than absolutely necessary. This stuff can go on for years wasting your real life.

+1. Everytime he pops into your brain, shift your focus. Don’t get hooked on fleeting thought and let your imagination spin. If you let it, the thought will pass

I wished this worked. I have had a crush on the same man off/ on since I was 15, so 25 years this method doesn't work. Some people just get under your skin and you just have to live with it

You can’t get someone out of your head if they live in your heart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feelings will not lessen doing the above.
Do not think about person. Do not fantasize. Do not spend more time than absolutely necessary. This stuff can go on for years wasting your real life.

+1. Everytime he pops into your brain, shift your focus. Don’t get hooked on fleeting thought and let your imagination spin. If you let it, the thought will pass

I wished this worked. I have had a crush on the same man off/ on since I was 15, so 25 years this method doesn't work. Some people just get under your skin and you just have to live with it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to overcome crushes is to enjoy the sensation of warm feelings you have. They will not last. Do not act on them in ways that are not allowed: touching, or being alone with him more than strictly necessary for your job. You are allowed to be happy when you see your crush, to enjoy spending time with them in public, and to look forward to seeing them the next day. It doesn't mean you don't love your own spouse and children, or want to leave, or anything of that nature - even if perhaps you fantasize sometimes of having a different life!

And then one day, feelings will lessen. That's all.

Thank you for this
I am single though is that worse?

If ur single why do you want to get rid of the crush instead of act on it?
Is HE married? Uninterested in you?
What’s the story?

Anonymous wrote:Make a list of all the suss things about him, however petty. My list had ear hair and that one yellow tooth. Keep referring to the list until you over him.

lol!

Anonymous wrote:I have one on a coworker. His personality is unlike anything I’ve seen. He is so kind, warm and nice.

I am serious and not a troll. It is bothering me so much at this point. I just don’t want to care

It happens to us all, and it will pass. I went like a decade with no crushes (married, having little kids) and now I seem to get struck by someone about every two years. very intense attractions and a sort of magnetic feeling when we are together.

I try to suppress it, never touch them (no hugs or anything). So far, weathered them all. They pass. I can't help fantasizing a little bit but try not to let it get out of control. Don't seek them out.

I think it's part of adulthood, maybe for some people more than others.

Anonymous wrote:Troll

You’re both single but you didn’t say that up front; you made it sound like some wildly inappropriate crush.

Oh brother.

Anonymous wrote:The way to overcome crushes is to enjoy the sensation of warm feelings you have. They will not last. Do not act on them in ways that are not allowed: touching, or being alone with him more than strictly necessary for your job. You are allowed to be happy when you see your crush, to enjoy spending time with them in public, and to look forward to seeing them the next day. It doesn't mean you don't love your own spouse and children, or want to leave, or anything of that nature - even if perhaps you fantasize sometimes of having a different life!

And then one day, feelings will lessen. That's all.

I guess

Or just fantasize about Luigi Mangione more. Be his lawyer, meet him in Thailand, have hime move to DC. All more likely than what actually happened.

Anonymous wrote:I have one on a coworker. His personality is unlike anything I’ve seen. He is so kind, warm and nice.

I am serious and not a troll. It is bothering me so much at this point. I just don’t want to care

Are you both single? What’s going on?

Make a list of all the suss things about him, however petty. My list had ear hair and that one yellow tooth. Keep referring to the list until you over him.

Anonymous wrote:I have one on a coworker. His personality is unlike anything I’ve seen. He is so kind, warm and nice.

I am serious and not a troll. It is bothering me so much at this point. I just don’t want to care

My DH is kind, warm, and nice to his coworkers. A$$hole at home. Imagine it’s all an act.

Anonymous wrote:If both are single, some casual dating seems harmless unless one is in a clear supervisory role over the other. Even if company policy may prohibit relationships, would doubt there’d be any punishment unless it became a distraction , though if it evolves into a serious relationship it’s likely one of you would need to change jobs as it does become impossible to hide at some point.

That’s all far in the future , I’d say go for it; either you’ll get some enjoyment out of it or if it’s bad the crush will end …

Re: the bold, even if neither supervises the other, dating can still create problems. Colleagues at the same level might work together on projects, and if two colleagues are dating, work they produce collaboratively could be affected -- negatively, or, sure, maybe positively. Also, if one person might be in line for promotion which would put them in a supervisory position over the other person, well, if the bosses know they're dating, it could cost the first person a promotion, in some offices. And if the bosses don't know but give the promotion, and later find out there's a relationship, there are likely to be repercussions and questions.

I'm not saying they shouldn't date or that colleagues never can date. I'm just noting that workplace interactions go beyond just "it's harmless unless one supervises the other." OP needs to be aware of that.

If both are single, some casual dating seems harmless unless one is in a clear supervisory role over the other. Even if company policy may prohibit relationships, would doubt there’d be any punishment unless it became a distraction , though if it evolves into a serious relationship it’s likely one of you would need to change jobs as it does become impossible to hide at some point.

That’s all far in the future , I’d say go for it; either you’ll get some enjoyment out of it or if it’s bad the crush will end …

Trust me there is already an office pool going on when you two will have sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way to overcome crushes is to enjoy the sensation of warm feelings you have. They will not last. Do not act on them in ways that are not allowed: touching, or being alone with him more than strictly necessary for your job. You are allowed to be happy when you see your crush, to enjoy spending time with them in public, and to look forward to seeing them the next day. It doesn't mean you don't love your own spouse and children, or want to leave, or anything of that nature - even if perhaps you fantasize sometimes of having a different life!

And then one day, feelings will lessen. That's all.

Thank you for this
I am single though is that worse?

Is he single?

Yes

So then what's the problem? Why would you not date?

Is it really that simple though?
I dont want to admit this
/op

The only problem is that if this is a work colleague, your workplace might have rules against relationships. But if it doesn't... please show him you care. he may ask you out, or you can ask him out. The worst he can do is be uninterested. Don't grow old and have regrets about not putting yourself out there.

Anonymous wrote:Feelings will not lessen doing the above.
Do not think about person. Do not fantasize. Do not spend more time than absolutely necessary. This stuff can go on for years wasting your real life.

+1. Everytime he pops into your brain, shift your focus. Don’t get hooked on fleeting thought and let your imagination spin. If you let it, the thought will pass