My DS is the same age and hates school. He has few friends, and from what I understand, their day is long and boring, with no breaks and little time for socialization. He does have a job, and is on a team, but it hasn't helped.

Yes, I hated my first two years of high school. I transferred Junior year and was much, much happier. Probably one of the best decisions I ever made.

I did not like high school. I was bored a lot. I had friends and played JV sports, but generally I was bored and was not into the sock hop/football game scene in the early 1980s in FCPS. I had some really great teachers. I got my patent to finally allow me to take two classes at NOVA and two at high school my senior year. There were only two or three AP courses back then.

For unmotivated teens, I’d take them now on a college tour or two. Show them a smaller college and a big one, so they see what they are working for. Explore the non-academic offerings at the colleges to get them excited.

Look for summer programs that let teenagers live away from home for a few weeks to get some idea of independent living and to have them meet kids who are making plans for later in life.

Things like Outward Bound for teens are really good at getting kids to self-reflect.

Some kids just take longer than others to get there. As long as kids are going to school or working or a combination, that’s okay, and as a parent I would insist on some kind of extracurricular activity each season, including community service if nothing else appeals.

This was me! I HATED school in general, but specifically high school. If there were a virtual option back when I would have gladly taken it. Didn’t want to attend college but knew it was the only option so I went and graduated with a 3.001 just so grad school was an option if I absolutely needed to attend.

I’ll say, as an adult, life is great. But, it’s great because of my choice to attend college.

Anonymous wrote:I did. I grew up in PG, and was one of maybe 50 white kids in my high school. Not my high school class - I mean the entire school - all four grades, maybe 3,000 students. I have no idea how many times I was beat up for being the white boy, it had to be in the dozens of times. Got put in the hospital ER twice, once in 9th grade, once in 10th grade. It was miserable. Like a prison movie. I never forgave my parents, especially my father, for putting me through that. Too cheap to move us to Montgomery or Fairfax counties, too cheap to spring for tuition at a private school, they spent money on boats and RV’s instead. So I went to public school and got beat up probably two hundred times before I was 18.

I’m sorry that happened to you.

Yes, and I left the country. Became an exchange student in Argentina for my senior year Became bilingual and bi-cultural.

I did very well—Valedictorian and went to Stanford—but in general hated it because I didn’t really like most of the people around me. Same went for college, graduate school, and law school. Finally got a job in my mid-30s where I’m really in my element and like and am well-liked by my coworkers. Liking school and excelling in it are different things for me—guarantee you that some of the best students hate it as much as the average students.

I liked high school classes. I hated living at home. I was abused constantly- being beaten up and called dumb, fat and lazy was my way of life. My mother did nothing - father abandoned us - a great thing - mother became a homeless addict the end of my senior year.

Not sure in the long run it was a bad thing. I was incredibly motivated to get out. Social life was not a distraction as I was as low as you could get on the social ladder. I was a national level athlete, ranked third my senior year. Lots of press coverage which made me find ways to hide from my fellow students. Got harassed for not drinking and smoking pot but that was for the rich kids. I was heavily recruited and didn’t have any margin for error. I didn’t understand peers who didn’t have ambition and drive - wasn’t mature enough to comprehend they didn’t need it.

College followed the same pattern - liked the classes but everything else was miserable - including a lack of food. Did well academically though and went on to do well with a terrific education - which of course since I paid for it all on my own without loans was valued. There is life beyond high school.

OP can you give us more of the WHY your DS hates school? Is it uninspiring/boring? Social issues? Could there be underlying mental stuff eg depression?

My son hated high school. So in 11th and 12th grade, he did all his classes at our local community college though the dual enrollment program. He was so much happier. He liked the independence. He liked being in classes with older students who had different life experiences. He liked that there were no spirit days or pep rallies or HS cliques. He's now a senior at a large university and has enjoyed that as well.

Is there a way to really talk to your son about what he’s going through? It sounds like depression. Maybe a therapist? I would probably move schools if you can—a small private? Also test for learning disabilities.

I didn’t like it but I didn’t hate it either. I did hate middle school however. I found freshman and sophomore years to be significantly worse than junior and senior years. I actually really liked my senior year of HS! It may get better for your son as he gets older. Remind him to keep trying hard and doing his best so he can get into a good college and leave this all behind. I consider myself a fairly smart and quick-thinking person, I’m just not a “school” person. I didn’t really love college either honestly even though most people would say it was the best years of their lives.

I generally liked HS (not all the time and yes was depressed sometimes but overall liked it). Good teachers but mostly because of my Extracurriculars. Really liked marching band, soccer, yearbook. And school was just what you did. But without ECs it would have been very different.

Yes. I hated high school. I would have been happier in a larger school with more people like me. I never found my people.

Yes, I hated all school, including high school.
How did you get through it? By the time I was old enough (16) to take the GED to quit, I was already in 11th grade and had put in more than half the time.
How did you get motivated, if not in high school - I wasn't particularly motivated.
when in college, - I was just trying to pass. Straight A's were never attainable for me so I never viewed things like that as a goal
your job? I just kept trying to not get fired.
What did you end up doing in life? I'm a legal secretary. At one point I tried to get a job with my city as a 911 operator but I couldn't pass the test either of the two times I took it.