Listening to people who haven’t experienced infertility or IVF talk about it, usually in a judgmental way.

Broken femurs and collarbones. Any serious injury occurring in the wilderness. Parents giving away or putting down the family dog. Parents hitting their kids or telling them in a threatening way "wait until we get home" or "your father isn't going to like this"

Anonymous wrote:Anything but r*pe being called r*pe. Taxes are not r*pe, for example.

Oh this one. That is such an ugly, awful word. It is shocking to me when people use it casually like this.

Interacting with people who have cancer.

My dad died of cancer when I was in elementary school. I remember his decline, his pain, his deterioration, and of course his death.

It is so hard for me to talk to people going through cancer or talking about a loved one with cancer. I just can't. I know they're going through so much, but I'm immediately brought back to being a kid and seeing this trauma up close at home, as a child.

And F cancer. All the kinds. All of it.

Service workers or employees being harassed, bullied, or just spoken to rudely for no reason by customers or clients. I have to stop myself from intervening as it would almost never be appropriate. But if I’m the next person in line, I make a point to ask the worker how they’re doing, make eye contact, smile, or leave a good tip. I have been in their shoes and it’s soul crushing.

Anything but r*pe being called r*pe. Taxes are not r*pe, for example.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel really sad when I see a tween girl whose family is all dressed nicely and age appropriately but who’s obviously in the wrong size, style and fit of clothes and/or clothes that are nice but obviously chosen by a parent with a vision that leaves the kid out of step with other kids.

I was the girl dressed in corduroy Bermuda shorts and a blazer when other girls my age were in Limited Too and I can spot my fellow victims of overbearing, strange mothers from a hundred yards away.

Hello friend! My mom always made me get what she would have wanted at my age. Or, wear my brother’s handmedowns. And on top of that had weird rules, like shampoo but no conditioner or hair products.

You get it! Conditioner was “for adults”. I also wasn’t allowed to blow dry my hair or shower in the morning because those were adult things, so I had to fall asleep on damp hair every night and hope it would look ok in the morning.

Anonymous wrote:I feel really sad when I see a tween girl whose family is all dressed nicely and age appropriately but who’s obviously in the wrong size, style and fit of clothes and/or clothes that are nice but obviously chosen by a parent with a vision that leaves the kid out of step with other kids.

I was the girl dressed in corduroy Bermuda shorts and a blazer when other girls my age were in Limited Too and I can spot my fellow victims of overbearing, strange mothers from a hundred yards away.

Hello friend! My mom always made me get what she would have wanted at my age. Or, wear my brother’s handmedowns. And on top of that had weird rules, like shampoo but no conditioner or hair products.

Bullying, especially involving kids

I feel really sad when I see a tween girl whose family is all dressed nicely and age appropriately but who’s obviously in the wrong size, style and fit of clothes and/or clothes that are nice but obviously chosen by a parent with a vision that leaves the kid out of step with other kids.

I was the girl dressed in corduroy Bermuda shorts and a blazer when other girls my age were in Limited Too and I can spot my fellow victims of overbearing, strange mothers from a hundred yards away.

Moms smacking their kids hard (like my mom).

Loud public shaming/berating by parents (like my mom).

Kids allowed to be withdrawn/antisocial in public and at family events, or families eating in total silence at great speed at restaurants. That’s a super personal hangup that’s really specific to how my husband was raised and how it impacts our family life. When I see a little kid sullenly reading a book and slumped in their own corner at a nice restaurant, I don’t think, yay, they’re reading. My brain goes straight to: good luck to the woman who married that kid and into that family.

Alcohol, especially when its joked about as related to the kids like mommy wine culture.

Hoarders that just say they are “packrats” and do not see the hoard. Inability to throw things out.

I grew up with a hoarder mother and it has permanently scarred me.

Drug/alcohol addicts.

When people make jokes about giving a kid up for adoption or how the oddball in the family must be adopted. I'm adopted, I have an adopted sister and cousin, and I also have adopted one of my children.