Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you apologize truly?
If not start there

This. Also, what exactly did you say to him OP? That will help us to better understand what's going on here. It's very rare for men to go silent for several days, with no history of this behavior, unless you said something seriously screwed up to him.

She said she “withdrew” first.

OP, what exactly does withdrew mean to you? Is he giving you silent treatment because you did it to him first?

I felt hurt by something he did and said (on-going issue), and pulled away. For like an afternoon. Then when I tried engaging, he didn't engage. I escalated further to get him to engage by yelling/accusing/saying hurtful things.

So when you say you “pulled away for like an afternoon” do you mean you gave him the silent treatment?

Anonymous wrote:How do you know he hasn’t moved on? Sounds like you should too.

Please stop with these inane, unhelpful posts.

Not a good look.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you apologize truly?
If not start there

This. Also, what exactly did you say to him OP? That will help us to better understand what's going on here. It's very rare for men to go silent for several days, with no history of this behavior, unless you said something seriously screwed up to him.

She said she “withdrew” first.

OP, what exactly does withdrew mean to you? Is he giving you silent treatment because you did it to him first?

I felt hurt by something he did and said (on-going issue), and pulled away. For like an afternoon. Then when I tried engaging, he didn't engage. I escalated further to get him to engage by yelling/accusing/saying hurtful things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you apologize truly?
If not start there

This. Also, what exactly did you say to him OP? That will help us to better understand what's going on here. It's very rare for men to go silent for several days, with no history of this behavior, unless you said something seriously screwed up to him.

She said she “withdrew” first.

OP, what exactly does withdrew mean to you? Is he giving you silent treatment because you did it to him first?

Anonymous wrote:Did you apologize truly?
If not start there

This. Also, what exactly did you say to him OP? That will help us to better understand what's going on here. It's very rare for men to go silent for several days, with no history of this behavior, unless you said something seriously screwed up to him.

Look up Gottman institute silent treatment and the four horsemen. It is a good start to help you better understand the dynamics at play and figure out how to undo them.

How often does he pull the silent treatment?

Did you apologize truly?
If not start there

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to make a couples' counseling appointment.

It’s unlikely someone like this will agree to counseling but worth trying.

He knows you're not sorry

Then just stop wanting to communicate. Drop the rope. There are two ways of looking at silent treatment-
One, person literally can’t handle any conflict and just wants to hope you allow it to “go away”.
Two, there has been verbal abuse or threatening behavior that made it very necessary for someone to seek safety in distance and space

How do you know he hasn’t moved on? Sounds like you should too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you weren't actually out of line.

What does this mean?

DP, but what is means is 5 days of silent treatment is so out of the norm for acceptable ways of dealing with your spouse that OP isn't the only one with a problem here.

One day is fine because it allows someone to process their own feelings and figure things out. On the second day, you should be talking again.