I work out 5-6 days a week and in good shape. My wife is fat and it bothers me. No kids. I don’t find her attractive. I am encouraging her to eat healthy and exercise. Things have started to improve, not at the pace i like though. Still better than before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW of almost 30 years here. Due to a diagnosis of arthritis and osteoporosis and menopause at 45, I’ve made it my job to exercise regularly and do so. I’ve never considered myself athletic so this was a huge life change for me. I mostly hike and walk 3 miles, 5 days a week. .

Your dedication is an inspiration. A lot of people in your situation still wouldn't exercise.

PP and thanks. Just learned that my 5 year regimen of Fosamax, wearing a weighted vest on my walks, gaining weight and muscle, better nutrition and was apparently all ineffective. My osteoporosis continues unabated per a DEXA scan. It’s worsening.

I let myself wallow over the holidays. Felt discouraged and dejected. Cue : all that work and what did it get me song. Didn’t exercise. Ate what I wanted (more salty snacks and cookies),enjoyed some fabulous restaurant meals and family dinners, lounged around and took naps. Still have the “what’s this all for” attitude but I know that I have to be physically active for my sanity.

We both have always exercised. A lot

Met in our mid 20s. 50s now and both WAH and we go to the same workouts.

Our kids are athletic too.

I never understood why people prioritize money but neglect health. Seriously don't you need good health to enjoy your money? To each their own.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah - I'm not an athlete but I walk a ridiculous amount. My spouse has health issues and is very sedentary. It's frustrating for a couple of reasons - one, I really worry about his health; second, it would be so nice to be able to do things like hike or kayak together. My ex and I were incompatible in so many ways but we both loved to hike and it was such a nice thing to share.

I love my spouse a lot so I try not to fixate on this. Also I saw this same dynamic modeled by my parents (father walks so much and is otherwise active; mother is sedentary by nature and it's exacerbated by health issues). So I sort of see how to live this way compassionately and practically - you need other friends to do activities with, you need to encourage your partner but not nag or berate, etc.

My mom is 66 and my dad is 70. My mom is always doing stuff moving around. my dad on the other hand is always on the couch like a snake. My dad has so many health issues from having lead a sedentary lifestyle.

I really hope many of you ladies aren't going to end up with husbands like my dad. While you are single and dating screen out men who don't exercise regularly. I don't date women who don't exercise regularly. If they don't and are willing to start great. But if they don't see the need for it they can look for another man.

Yeah - I'm not an athlete but I walk a ridiculous amount. My spouse has health issues and is very sedentary. It's frustrating for a couple of reasons - one, I really worry about his health; second, it would be so nice to be able to do things like hike or kayak together. My ex and I were incompatible in so many ways but we both loved to hike and it was such a nice thing to share.

I love my spouse a lot so I try not to fixate on this. Also I saw this same dynamic modeled by my parents (father walks so much and is otherwise active; mother is sedentary by nature and it's exacerbated by health issues). So I sort of see how to live this way compassionately and practically - you need other friends to do activities with, you need to encourage your partner but not nag or berate, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW has a terrible GI Illness called Crohn's disease. She has to take monthly infusions and she has had 2 surgeries already and she is only 35.

Having said that she is a beast...She is in phenomenal shape with well defined muscles and expectational cardiovascular health. She never left her chronic illness be an excuse for her not be in shape. When people see her they comment on how amazing she looks. One will never guess that she is dealing with this tough chronic disease.

She got me into fitness. She showed me how do all the exercises at the gym. We go to the gym together 4 times a week. But when she is flaring she can be out of the gym for up to a month. Since she in great shape she bounces back quickly.

Uh...she looks great because of crohns.

My friend has Crohn's and he is fat.

Anonymous wrote:My DW has a terrible GI Illness called Crohn's disease. She has to take monthly infusions and she has had 2 surgeries already and she is only 35.

Having said that she is a beast...She is in phenomenal shape with well defined muscles and expectational cardiovascular health. She never left her chronic illness be an excuse for her not be in shape. When people see her they comment on how amazing she looks. One will never guess that she is dealing with this tough chronic disease.

She got me into fitness. She showed me how do all the exercises at the gym. We go to the gym together 4 times a week. But when she is flaring she can be out of the gym for up to a month. Since she in great shape she bounces back quickly.

Uh...she looks great because of crohns.

My DW has a terrible GI Illness called Crohn's disease. She has to take monthly infusions and she has had 2 surgeries already and she is only 35.

Having said that she is a beast...She is in phenomenal shape with well defined muscles and expectational cardiovascular health. She never left her chronic illness be an excuse for her not be in shape. When people see her they comment on how amazing she looks. One will never guess that she is dealing with this tough chronic disease.

She got me into fitness. She showed me how do all the exercises at the gym. We go to the gym together 4 times a week. But when she is flaring she can be out of the gym for up to a month. Since she in great shape she bounces back quickly.

DH was blessed with great metabolism early in life, and was rail-thin until his mid 40s. Mid 50s now and definitely carries extra weight, but he doesn't exercise regularly because he didn't enjoy it.

I worry about his health. and it's especially noticeable when we try to do some family activities with our teenage sons (who are both in regular athletics) and DH can't keep up. He complains then about being out of shape, but doesn't seem interested in doing anything about it. He also supplements the healthy food I cook for meals with plenty of ice cream and cookies. Not much I can do there, though - it's his body.

Anonymous wrote:DW of almost 30 years here. Due to a diagnosis of arthritis and osteoporosis and menopause at 45, I’ve made it my job to exercise regularly and do so. I’ve never considered myself athletic so this was a huge life change for me. I mostly hike and walk 3 miles, 5 days a week.

DH was a college athlete. He literally can’t keep up with me and we have the same circular argument: he contends that if he’s going to walk as fast as I do, he’d rather run so he will occasionally join me but we have to “stroll.”

New source of irritation; DH “trains” before skiing once or twice a year. He’ll get on the exercise bike ahead and have a semi regular routine so he can “ski every day and no get injured.” I’ve tried to make the point that personal fitness means preparedness to engage in any activity! The. He says I’m not a skier so how would I know. Ugh.

Your dedication is an inspiration. A lot of people in your situation still wouldn't exercise.

DW of almost 30 years here. Due to a diagnosis of arthritis and osteoporosis and menopause at 45, I’ve made it my job to exercise regularly and do so. I’ve never considered myself athletic so this was a huge life change for me. I mostly hike and walk 3 miles, 5 days a week.

DH was a college athlete. He literally can’t keep up with me and we have the same circular argument: he contends that if he’s going to walk as fast as I do, he’d rather run so he will occasionally join me but we have to “stroll.”

New source of irritation; DH “trains” before skiing once or twice a year. He’ll get on the exercise bike ahead and have a semi regular routine so he can “ski every day and no get injured.” I’ve tried to make the point that personal fitness means preparedness to engage in any activity! The. He says I’m not a skier so how would I know. Ugh.

Yes. It's heartbreaking.

DS has health complications where medical instructions are to get regular exercise. DS walks the dog and that is about it. .

It would be frustrating without the medical complications. Add them to this situation, and it is truly heartbreaking.

Anonymous wrote:It bothers me. I worry about his health. He does some exercise on weekends but claims he has no time during week.

Same. I miss time for it, he doesn’t. It bugs me but it is also not something I can control other than offering to do more in the mornings so he can exercise

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I followed the advice on this board when a few women asked about their out of shape husband… I told my wife to start exercising to lose weight or I’d divorce her. Worked like a charm. Thanks DCUM!

I am surprised she followed through. I would have expected her to stand her ground and dare you divorce her. Women usually don't take divorce threats from men seriously.

You fell for it. Don’t feed the troll