Anonymous
Post 01/19/2025 15:02     Subject: Legal advice
Anonymous wrote:He needs a crappy manual labor job where he has to be at the jobsite at 7am, comes home tired. Stays out of trouble. He needs to come to the conclusion on his own he wants to pull his s--- together and get a career path that has AC

He needs to dump every single one of his loser friends yesterday. He needs to throw his phone in the trash and get a new phone without the loser friends phone numbers

1000% absolute sobriety, alcohol and pot. Sounds like alcoholism runs in the family. He has the genetics for it. Plus the ADHD. He cannot have any alcohol for the rest of his life.

You should strongly consider not fronting the cost of the lawyer. He can get a crappy public defender and got to jail. Spend the lawyer money on rehab.

This lady knows what’s up.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2025 15:01     Subject: Legal advice
He’s probably looking at jail time.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2025 14:56     Subject: Legal advice
Anonymous wrote:Seems like military school might be an option?


He's an adult. And will not getting into West Point.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2025 14:56     Subject: Legal advice
Anonymous wrote:He needs a crappy manual labor job where he has to be at the jobsite at 7am, comes home tired. Stays out of trouble. He needs to come to the conclusion on his own he wants to pull his s--- together and get a career path that has AC

He needs to dump every single one of his loser friends yesterday. He needs to throw his phone in the trash and get a new phone without the loser friends phone numbers

1000% absolute sobriety, alcohol and pot. Sounds like alcoholism runs in the family. He has the genetics for it. Plus the ADHD. He cannot have any alcohol for the rest of his life.

You should strongly consider not fronting the cost of the lawyer. He can get a crappy public defender and got to jail. Spend the lawyer money on rehab.


This is all smart advice ^^
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2025 14:55     Subject: Legal advice
Anonymous wrote:Why are we even talking about military? That is a long term goal. He needs rehab. He needs mental help. He needs medication. He needs to do his jail time.


Could completely ruin any chances of the military ... long term goal or not.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2025 14:54     Subject: Legal advice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Jail isn't that bad. It's a wakeup call. Don't bend over backwards to avoid it.


Oh, it certainly can be "that bad."


When one deserves it? No it's not that bad it is the appropriate consequence! My son has been to jail twice!


Ok? Good for him?
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2025 14:42     Subject: Legal advice
Seems like military school might be an option?
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2025 14:30     Subject: Legal advice
He needs a crappy manual labor job where he has to be at the jobsite at 7am, comes home tired. Stays out of trouble. He needs to come to the conclusion on his own he wants to pull his s--- together and get a career path that has AC

He needs to dump every single one of his loser friends yesterday. He needs to throw his phone in the trash and get a new phone without the loser friends phone numbers

1000% absolute sobriety, alcohol and pot. Sounds like alcoholism runs in the family. He has the genetics for it. Plus the ADHD. He cannot have any alcohol for the rest of his life.

You should strongly consider not fronting the cost of the lawyer. He can get a crappy public defender and got to jail. Spend the lawyer money on rehab.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2025 14:25     Subject: Legal advice
Anonymous wrote:As a felon and with any record plus ADHD he has absolutely zero chance if being in the Army

Underaged drinking + drinking problems...
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2025 21:55     Subject: Legal advice
Anonymous wrote:As a felon and with any record plus ADHD he has absolutely zero chance if being in the Army


This.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2025 21:27     Subject: Re:Legal advice
I too am wondering why he is not medicated. While I don’t believe the story of stealing because of a dare, I do see the impulsivity and lack of executive functioning ability through your post.

Your son has a tough road OP. You are right about taking away his ability
To drive your cars - had to do this for one of my kids as well. Just a word of caution - it is so freaking difficult and inconvenient that it will be easy to give up. We’re almost at the three year point and it has been successful only because of the commitment of my family.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2025 20:36     Subject: Legal advice
Why are we even talking about military? That is a long term goal. He needs rehab. He needs mental help. He needs medication. He needs to do his jail time.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2025 20:19     Subject: Legal advice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Jail isn't that bad. It's a wakeup call. Don't bend over backwards to avoid it.


Oh, it certainly can be "that bad."


When one deserves it? No it's not that bad it is the appropriate consequence! My son has been to jail twice!
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2025 20:18     Subject: Legal advice
My brother was really bad as an 18-19 year old and is now finishing up a PhD. He needs to grow up and become responsible on his own. Basically work for a while and support himself and decide how he wants his life to go.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2025 19:51     Subject: Legal advice
Military is out I think, OP. He may indeed have some time in jail which must feel unbearable as his mom and be incredibly scary for him, but it likely won’t be long and it’s not like they’re sending him to a Supermax.

I know it’s easy to say from the outside but I will say it anyway-a short sentence may be just what he needs right now. And it’s good it happened now when he’s literally still a teenager and what he’s done isn’t something that will haunt him (or some other affected person) for life. He can and very likely will turn things around-it’s much better for that to start now than when he’s 30. Good luck!