Anonymous
01/17/2025 18:19
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who did this. Adult now and still goes by the nickname. It was a forever thing for her.
+1. Our friend is Israeli and chose an American sounding version of his name when he went to college and never changed it back. He’s 50 now.
Anonymous
01/17/2025 16:30
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He needs a nickname. It’s a nice name but he’s not in your home country and it doesn’t flow well in English.
Ace is a rather ambitious nickname to live up to. Maybe discuss some alternatives?
BULLSHIT. When white Americans stop naming their kids stupid Gaelic names that somehow magically everybody can pronounce like Saoirse and Aiofe, we'll all start naming our kids Jack and Henry. If you can pronounce these Gaelic names that ALSO DO NOT FLOW WELL IN ENGLISH because your great-great-great-granny was Irish, then we'll stop naming kids from our actual ethnicity that you could EASILY pronounce if you gave a shit and tried even just the teeny tiniest bit.
Look, basically anyone who advises against difficult names from whatever your ethnicity is, also advises against "stupid Gaelic names" for the same reason. Aoibhinn, for example, is just not a good name for a child who's going to grow up in America, no matter her parents' background.
Anonymous
01/17/2025 13:21
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
I have a family member who did this. Adult now and still goes by the nickname. It was a forever thing for her.
Anonymous
01/17/2025 13:13
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You let kids be called by what they want to be called. It's respect. I don't think nicknames are necessarily because they think their name is too ethnic. Usually they're just short names that their friends can shout easily on the playground.
What's the nickname for Aksel in your home country? Can you offer that up? Nicknames aren't an English thing, nearly every language has them.
NP. PP is not understanding the cultural dynamic at play here. Wanting a nickname? Sure. Because your “ethnic” name is weird to your white/american peers. Not okay. I am sure he is being teased for it at school. Your experience is not uncommon. Here’s what I suggest, OP:
1. Contact teacher to express concerns and ask what they have seen in the classroom. If their answer is nothing, then ask them to keep a look out and intervene and report back to you. If it continues, then escalate to Principal. There may also be a Director of Diversity that you can contact. Sometimes it’s outright bullying, other times it is just ignorance and curiosity but it can still hurt if such exchanges are not supervised & guided by a knowledgeable adult. Especially at this young age.
2. At the same time, talk to your son. Be curious and ask questions to understand his thinking and where this is coming from (e.g. class bullying or other). No judgments or opinions from you at this stage. Just curiosity and a safe space for your son to share with you.
3. After this point, then you can begin sharing your thoughts & taking action steps. You might say that choosing a nickname is certainly fine but he should also be proud of his name. Show him famous people with the same name and also other “ethnic” names - scientists, athletes, celebrities. Share stories about other famous people who had ethnically different names and their experience overcoming those challenges while being proud of who they are and where they come from. Then give him the choice. (And it’s okay if he still wants the nickname but do keep the conversation ongoing to continue to build confidence.)
4.Give him the right language. Not “weird”. “Representative of my heritage.”; “It seems weird to you because you don’t know about x country.”; “I love my name. It’s not boring or common.” Language gives him the tools to process and articulate the nuance, and to speak up for himself.
5. Of course your discussion is geared to what it developmentally appropriate. I think you said 2nd grade. Some children’s books to explore with your son: My Name (Kelkar); What If We Were All The Same!: A Children's Rhyming Book About Diversity (Harris); We’re Different, We’re The Same (Mathieu); The Day You Begin (López).
I hope this helps!
Lol. A lot of ethnic names outside of a specific culture is weird. Braydon would be a weird in Africa. Every name post on this forum is “don’t name your kid X because kids will call him Y.” When it’s an objectively weird name (something no one can pronounce and have never heard of) suddenly everyone in this forum is in a huff.
OP you named your kid a bad name for the culture he lives in. Thats not offensive, it’s called reality. The kid should get a nickname, obviously.
Anonymous
01/17/2025 12:26
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
Anonymous wrote:You let kids be called by what they want to be called. It's respect. I don't think nicknames are necessarily because they think their name is too ethnic. Usually they're just short names that their friends can shout easily on the playground.
What's the nickname for Aksel in your home country? Can you offer that up? Nicknames aren't an English thing, nearly every language has them.
NP. PP is not understanding the cultural dynamic at play here. Wanting a nickname? Sure. Because your “ethnic” name is weird to your white/american peers. Not okay. I am sure he is being teased for it at school. Your experience is not uncommon. Here’s what I suggest, OP:
1. Contact teacher to express concerns and ask what they have seen in the classroom. If their answer is nothing, then ask them to keep a look out and intervene and report back to you. If it continues, then escalate to Principal. There may also be a Director of Diversity that you can contact. Sometimes it’s outright bullying, other times it is just ignorance and curiosity but it can still hurt if such exchanges are not supervised & guided by a knowledgeable adult. Especially at this young age.
2. At the same time, talk to your son. Be curious and ask questions to understand his thinking and where this is coming from (e.g. class bullying or other). No judgments or opinions from you at this stage. Just curiosity and a safe space for your son to share with you.
3. After this point, then you can begin sharing your thoughts & taking action steps. You might say that choosing a nickname is certainly fine but he should also be proud of his name. Show him famous people with the same name and also other “ethnic” names - scientists, athletes, celebrities. Share stories about other famous people who had ethnically different names and their experience overcoming those challenges while being proud of who they are and where they come from. Then give him the choice. (And it’s okay if he still wants the nickname but do keep the conversation ongoing to continue to build confidence.)
4.Give him the right language. Not “weird”. “Representative of my heritage.”; “It seems weird to you because you don’t know about x country.”; “I love my name. It’s not boring or common.” Language gives him the tools to process and articulate the nuance, and to speak up for himself.
5. Of course your discussion is geared to what it developmentally appropriate. I think you said 2nd grade. Some children’s books to explore with your son: My Name (Kelkar); What If We Were All The Same!: A Children's Rhyming Book About Diversity (Harris); We’re Different, We’re The Same (Mathieu); The Day You Begin (López).
I hope this helps!
Anonymous
01/17/2025 11:45
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
I’d try to find out more from your child about why he feels his name is “weird,” but otherwise let it be. You obviously want to be aware of any teasing, etc.
I think it’s fairly normal for kids to have a school nickname. My family always called my little brother by one nickname, but at school his friends called him by another. Both were full name derived (eg we call him Liam, school friends call/called him Will). He doesn’t care, but tends to go by “Will” more often.
I think it’s fairly normal for kids to have a school nickname. My family always called my little brother by one nickname, but at school his friends called him by another. Both were full name derived (eg we call him Liam, school friends call/called him Will). He doesn’t care, but tends to go by “Will” more often.
Anonymous
01/17/2025 10:14
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He needs a nickname. It’s a nice name but he’s not in your home country and it doesn’t flow well in English.
Ace is a rather ambitious nickname to live up to. Maybe discuss some alternatives?
BULLSHIT. When white Americans stop naming their kids stupid Gaelic names that somehow magically everybody can pronounce like Saoirse and Aiofe, we'll all start naming our kids Jack and Henry. If you can pronounce these Gaelic names that ALSO DO NOT FLOW WELL IN ENGLISH because your great-great-great-granny was Irish, then we'll stop naming kids from our actual ethnicity that you could EASILY pronounce if you gave a shit and tried even just the teeny tiniest bit.
*Plenty of little white boys named Axl and Axel out there. Wow, what an ignorant piggy little b___.
NP here
I've literally seen them spell it "Seersha" and I've never seen ANY Aiofes outside of Ireland.
Anonymous
01/17/2025 09:49
Subject: Re:Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
No, but I don't think I've ever called my kids by their birthname. We only use their nickname they've had since birth. At school staff and students use their actual name. Let him use his nickname, not a big deal.
Anonymous
01/17/2025 01:12
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He needs a nickname. It’s a nice name but he’s not in your home country and it doesn’t flow well in English.
Ace is a rather ambitious nickname to live up to. Maybe discuss some alternatives?
BULLSHIT. When white Americans stop naming their kids stupid Gaelic names that somehow magically everybody can pronounce like Saoirse and Aiofe, we'll all start naming our kids Jack and Henry. If you can pronounce these Gaelic names that ALSO DO NOT FLOW WELL IN ENGLISH because your great-great-great-granny was Irish, then we'll stop naming kids from our actual ethnicity that you could EASILY pronounce if you gave a shit and tried even just the teeny tiniest bit.
*Plenty of little white boys named Axl and Axel out there. Wow, what an ignorant piggy little b___.
I guess it went over your head too. Stop hating on White people you piggy little racist.
Anonymous
01/17/2025 01:08
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He needs a nickname. It’s a nice name but he’s not in your home country and it doesn’t flow well in English.
Ace is a rather ambitious nickname to live up to. Maybe discuss some alternatives?
Maybe you should go look up what e.g. means.
NP.
FOR EXAMPLE, his name is Aksel and he wants to be called "Ace."
What meaning do you use, pp?
The PP was trying to point out that the kids name isn’t actually Aksel and he doesn’t actually want to go by Ace. So worrying about that particular nickname was not really a thing.
Ok, I skimmed it and didn’t catch she was using fake names. Boring
Anonymous
01/16/2025 21:02
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He needs a nickname. It’s a nice name but he’s not in your home country and it doesn’t flow well in English.
Ace is a rather ambitious nickname to live up to. Maybe discuss some alternatives?
Maybe you should go look up what e.g. means.
NP.
FOR EXAMPLE, his name is Aksel and he wants to be called "Ace."
What meaning do you use, pp?
Are you stupid? OP used Aksel as an example, OP's child's name is NOT Aksel, OP's child does not want to be called Ace.
Anonymous
01/16/2025 20:59
Subject: Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
Anonymous wrote:He needs a nickname. It’s a nice name but he’s not in your home country and it doesn’t flow well in English.
Ace is a rather ambitious nickname to live up to. Maybe discuss some alternatives?
BULLSHIT. When white Americans stop naming their kids stupid Gaelic names that somehow magically everybody can pronounce like Saoirse and Aiofe, we'll all start naming our kids Jack and Henry. If you can pronounce these Gaelic names that ALSO DO NOT FLOW WELL IN ENGLISH because your great-great-great-granny was Irish, then we'll stop naming kids from our actual ethnicity that you could EASILY pronounce if you gave a shit and tried even just the teeny tiniest bit.
*Plenty of little white boys named Axl and Axel out there. Wow, what an ignorant piggy little b___.
Anonymous
01/16/2025 20:31
Subject: Re:Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
I think it's fine if they tell their friends to call them by the nickname but I always call them by the name I gave them.
Anonymous
01/16/2025 19:25
Subject: Re:Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
I would let my child go by a nickname but I'd also take a deep dive into why he thinks his name is weird. I'd get the book, Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes and start there.
Anonymous
01/16/2025 19:19
Subject: Re:Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
No that’s weird