Anonymous wrote:That all sounds normal to me. I think as long as the contact continues, even if the intervals are longer, it's fine.

I don't really think there's a wrong answer here. I have some friends I only see a few times a year but I still really love them and we've been friends for decades. We always pick right back up where we left off.

I think this is the key.

I get together with my college girlfriends 3-4 times a year and the rest of the time we will chat when someone sends something to the group but we don't really talk about anything unless we're together in person. But every time we pick up where we left off.

My best friend and I talk on the phone as often as we can (usually once a week) but we can only see each other a few times a year. We rarely text (she's a teacher and doesn't really have access to her phone during the day like I do with my desk job).

Nearby friends I see in person and text but there's no set cadence, it just works out however it does.

I don't think there's a "right" way to have a friendship so long as all parties feel a sense of connection in some way. I also know that any of my friends would drop everything for me if I needed them, and vice versa, no matter how long it had been since we've talked. So our closeness binds us together even if we don't spend time physically near each other.

Neighborhood friends we see pretty frequently although less when the weather is like this and there are no holidays to celebrate. We have very active text chains though, so we communicate every day.

We have a large friend group with kids of similar ages and we have things like weekly trivia at the local restaurant and regular school activities plus birthdays or other things we plan quite often. All but one of us works but we have pretty typical M-F jobs with some travel. Only one I can think of works weekends (Saturdays - he's a dentist).

A few times a month, but I live in a place where it’s easy to meet up and be social.

My closest friends are all over the country and we seldom see each other. Everyone is busy with jobs and families.

Thanks, everyone! It’s helpful to see the range.

OP

Anonymous wrote:Too many friends expect me to do all the work of maintaining the friendship. Tiresome.

That would definitely be tiring. Maybe something like a regular lunch or breakfast date would work? Then, no one has to plan much after the initial event.