Anonymous
Post 01/14/2025 05:50     Subject: Re:Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
Anonymous wrote:Ok-you may not be the OP then as that person clearly said that their daughter needed to focus more time on her primary sport and that they were looking for an option where soccer would be the secondary sport for their daughter.


Didn't OP say that she doesn't want her daughter penalized for missing practices or games?
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2025 15:00     Subject: Re:Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
Ok-you may not be the OP then as that person clearly said that their daughter needed to focus more time on her primary sport and that they were looking for an option where soccer would be the secondary sport for their daughter.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2025 14:49     Subject: Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
Anonymous wrote:

I never said soccer wasn't preferred. Children shouldn't have to pick the trajectory of their lives in 2nd grade. News flash specialization at a young age is actually not good for them. If my child is just as good as another going to practice 2 days a week instead of 3 they should be in a system where they are unable to get better? I guess your child isn't an athlete and needs to dedicate every waking moment to only one sport. Have fun when they flame out. I'll continue to allow my child to participate in however many different sports they want at the appropriate level for them to continue to progress. If and when they are old enough to decide which one they like doing more that decision will be made.


Just a thought from a middle school rec coach. Earlier you said that her other sport was her "primary" sport. That's great! And she should be able to continue to play both sports at a level that is appropriate for her. It sounds like your daughter is 8 or so? In my experience, rec really starts to change over the next few years. It goes from teams that have some kids who don't really want to be there to teams with kids who are there for a number of reasons. My daughter's current team has been together for many years. We have several former travel players who wanted to dedicate more time to other sports/activities, and we have several others who could easily make at least a lower travel team (and a few who could likely make a top team) but choose to play rec for a variety of reasons. They are not a "super team" either. The other teams in the league are just as competitive with a similar player makeup. The girls on my daughter's team enjoy playing together, they all try hard, and they are all committed to improving. I wouldn't be so quick to write off rec as an option over the next few years.

But if you are still looking for a travel experience, I agree that looking for a lower level team at a larger club is probably the right option as over the next few years the top teams will be filled with kids for whom it's their "primary" sport. Some of those kids may have another secondary sport, like soccer is for your daughter, and in those cases they're very unlikely to be playing on the top travel team in that sport. It sounds like you might already be in that situation already? Two practices a week, coming to every game, spending time on her other sport. Sounds like it's a good fit to me! And if it becomes clear that she is head and shoulders above every player on that team - as in, she's clearly the best player and is dominating the games - then it may be time to reevaluate.


To be clear I never said primary or secondary. She is a little older than that now but imo too young to specialize. She has two sports she prefers currently and 2 others when time allows she does a camp or a short term weekly class. Those have largely dropped off in favor of soccer and one other as the time commitments have increased. We have done several seasons of rec other than her first year she has played up. It's been a hot mess to try to explain it nicely. In soccer the main season she prioritizes that. During the other sports primary season that gets the priority thankfully that's mostly in the winter. It's a balancing act for sure. But to tell a parent just put your hyper competitive athletic kid in rec with kids that don't want to be there, that's a definite way to be done with the sport all together. I'll take your word for it that as they get older it gets better.

To the poster with the gripes about missing games and tournaments clearly something happened to your child. I'm sorry but I never said she did that.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2025 10:13     Subject: Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. My daughter’s other sport competitions don't begin until December. So we prioritize soccer in the fall when there are conflicts. The rest of the year we prioritize her other sport. No advice, but sympathy knowing not everyone wants their kids to specialize at a young age and rec is not a good alternative.


Coach here.

Out of curiosity why is rec not a good alternative?

There are a ton of great recreational programs out there that may better fit your schedule and needs. When it comes to travel you run the risk of your daughter not receiving a high amount of playing time and then many of the negative outcomes of youth soccer that come with it (kid hates the sport, costs of the sport versus the returns etc.)

I guess what I am saying is if you want to do travel is set expectations with both your coach and your player early. Don’t leave anyone blindsided because that is not fair to anyone

I never said I wasn't transparent. She was moved to a lower team even with the mention that she plays another sport. Actions like that to an 8 year old before any conflicts were even established makes me no longer want to be transparent up front. Where we live rec is terrible. I had her play up age groups and it didn't matter. Playing up she was the leading scorer on her team from midfield. Her team had several girls who did not want to be there. Parents thought it would help their kids get exercise they wouldn't run or even try. Her team had a special needs girl on there. Everyone regardless of effort had to play 50% of the game. Show up to 0 practices play 50 % of the game half way through the season they still didn't know the rules (off-sides etc). Stand there crying on the field because you don't want to be there play 50% of the game. Trust me if there were good rec options that would keep her improving so when she is older she can choose which sport she actually prefers I would do that. If showing up to 2 practices a week and every game isn't commitment enough I'm sorry.


Your child should not play travel soccer. And don't be so sensitive to valid questions. Ask to have her play up a year or two if she's too good for rec at her age group. Don't take a spot on a travel team that's not a bottom team from a player that wants to actually play travel soccer while your child focus on their preferred sport and misses practices, games, and tournaments. It's rude to both sports she plays and everyone else that has to deal with your conflicts. No kid should play more than one travel sport unless it's that special unicorn schedule where they don't actually conflict.


Agree.
Travel sports team should be prioritized. Therefore: one travel sport per season.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2025 10:06     Subject: Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport

I never said soccer wasn't preferred. Children shouldn't have to pick the trajectory of their lives in 2nd grade. News flash specialization at a young age is actually not good for them. If my child is just as good as another going to practice 2 days a week instead of 3 they should be in a system where they are unable to get better? I guess your child isn't an athlete and needs to dedicate every waking moment to only one sport. Have fun when they flame out. I'll continue to allow my child to participate in however many different sports they want at the appropriate level for them to continue to progress. If and when they are old enough to decide which one they like doing more that decision will be made.


Just a thought from a middle school rec coach. Earlier you said that her other sport was her "primary" sport. That's great! And she should be able to continue to play both sports at a level that is appropriate for her. It sounds like your daughter is 8 or so? In my experience, rec really starts to change over the next few years. It goes from teams that have some kids who don't really want to be there to teams with kids who are there for a number of reasons. My daughter's current team has been together for many years. We have several former travel players who wanted to dedicate more time to other sports/activities, and we have several others who could easily make at least a lower travel team (and a few who could likely make a top team) but choose to play rec for a variety of reasons. They are not a "super team" either. The other teams in the league are just as competitive with a similar player makeup. The girls on my daughter's team enjoy playing together, they all try hard, and they are all committed to improving. I wouldn't be so quick to write off rec as an option over the next few years.

But if you are still looking for a travel experience, I agree that looking for a lower level team at a larger club is probably the right option as over the next few years the top teams will be filled with kids for whom it's their "primary" sport. Some of those kids may have another secondary sport, like soccer is for your daughter, and in those cases they're very unlikely to be playing on the top travel team in that sport. It sounds like you might already be in that situation already? Two practices a week, coming to every game, spending time on her other sport. Sounds like it's a good fit to me! And if it becomes clear that she is head and shoulders above every player on that team - as in, she's clearly the best player and is dominating the games - then it may be time to reevaluate.

Anonymous
Post 01/13/2025 09:35     Subject: Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. My daughter’s other sport competitions don't begin until December. So we prioritize soccer in the fall when there are conflicts. The rest of the year we prioritize her other sport. No advice, but sympathy knowing not everyone wants their kids to specialize at a young age and rec is not a good alternative.


Coach here.

Out of curiosity why is rec not a good alternative?

There are a ton of great recreational programs out there that may better fit your schedule and needs. When it comes to travel you run the risk of your daughter not receiving a high amount of playing time and then many of the negative outcomes of youth soccer that come with it (kid hates the sport, costs of the sport versus the returns etc.)

I guess what I am saying is if you want to do travel is set expectations with both your coach and your player early. Don’t leave anyone blindsided because that is not fair to anyone

I never said I wasn't transparent. She was moved to a lower team even with the mention that she plays another sport. Actions like that to an 8 year old before any conflicts were even established makes me no longer want to be transparent up front. Where we live rec is terrible. I had her play up age groups and it didn't matter. Playing up she was the leading scorer on her team from midfield. Her team had several girls who did not want to be there. Parents thought it would help their kids get exercise they wouldn't run or even try. Her team had a special needs girl on there. Everyone regardless of effort had to play 50% of the game. Show up to 0 practices play 50 % of the game half way through the season they still didn't know the rules (off-sides etc). Stand there crying on the field because you don't want to be there play 50% of the game. Trust me if there were good rec options that would keep her improving so when she is older she can choose which sport she actually prefers I would do that. If showing up to 2 practices a week and every game isn't commitment enough I'm sorry.


Your child should not play travel soccer. And don't be so sensitive to valid questions. Ask to have her play up a year or two if she's too good for rec at her age group. Don't take a spot on a travel team that's not a bottom team from a player that wants to actually play travel soccer while your child focus on their preferred sport and misses practices, games, and tournaments. It's rude to both sports she plays and everyone else that has to deal with your conflicts. No kid should play more than one travel sport unless it's that special unicorn schedule where they don't actually conflict.

I never said soccer wasn't preferred. Children shouldn't have to pick the trajectory of their lives in 2nd grade. News flash specialization at a young age is actually not good for them. If my child is just as good as another going to practice 2 days a week instead of 3 they should be in a system where they are unable to get better? I guess your child isn't an athlete and needs to dedicate every waking moment to only one sport. Have fun when they flame out. I'll continue to allow my child to participate in however many different sports they want at the appropriate level for them to continue to progress. If and when they are old enough to decide which one they like doing more that decision will be made.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2025 23:41     Subject: Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. My daughter’s other sport competitions don't begin until December. So we prioritize soccer in the fall when there are conflicts. The rest of the year we prioritize her other sport. No advice, but sympathy knowing not everyone wants their kids to specialize at a young age and rec is not a good alternative.


Coach here.

Out of curiosity why is rec not a good alternative?

There are a ton of great recreational programs out there that may better fit your schedule and needs. When it comes to travel you run the risk of your daughter not receiving a high amount of playing time and then many of the negative outcomes of youth soccer that come with it (kid hates the sport, costs of the sport versus the returns etc.)

I guess what I am saying is if you want to do travel is set expectations with both your coach and your player early. Don’t leave anyone blindsided because that is not fair to anyone

I never said I wasn't transparent. She was moved to a lower team even with the mention that she plays another sport. Actions like that to an 8 year old before any conflicts were even established makes me no longer want to be transparent up front. Where we live rec is terrible. I had her play up age groups and it didn't matter. Playing up she was the leading scorer on her team from midfield. Her team had several girls who did not want to be there. Parents thought it would help their kids get exercise they wouldn't run or even try. Her team had a special needs girl on there. Everyone regardless of effort had to play 50% of the game. Show up to 0 practices play 50 % of the game half way through the season they still didn't know the rules (off-sides etc). Stand there crying on the field because you don't want to be there play 50% of the game. Trust me if there were good rec options that would keep her improving so when she is older she can choose which sport she actually prefers I would do that. If showing up to 2 practices a week and every game isn't commitment enough I'm sorry.


Your child should not play travel soccer. And don't be so sensitive to valid questions. Ask to have her play up a year or two if she's too good for rec at her age group. Don't take a spot on a travel team that's not a bottom team from a player that wants to actually play travel soccer while your child focus on their preferred sport and misses practices, games, and tournaments. It's rude to both sports she plays and everyone else that has to deal with your conflicts. No kid should play more than one travel sport unless it's that special unicorn schedule where they don't actually conflict.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2025 22:48     Subject: Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. My daughter’s other sport competitions don't begin until December. So we prioritize soccer in the fall when there are conflicts. The rest of the year we prioritize her other sport. No advice, but sympathy knowing not everyone wants their kids to specialize at a young age and rec is not a good alternative.


Coach here.

Out of curiosity why is rec not a good alternative?

There are a ton of great recreational programs out there that may better fit your schedule and needs. When it comes to travel you run the risk of your daughter not receiving a high amount of playing time and then many of the negative outcomes of youth soccer that come with it (kid hates the sport, costs of the sport versus the returns etc.)

I guess what I am saying is if you want to do travel is set expectations with both your coach and your player early. Don’t leave anyone blindsided because that is not fair to anyone

I never said I wasn't transparent. She was moved to a lower team even with the mention that she plays another sport. Actions like that to an 8 year old before any conflicts were even established makes me no longer want to be transparent up front. Where we live rec is terrible. I had her play up age groups and it didn't matter. Playing up she was the leading scorer on her team from midfield. Her team had several girls who did not want to be there. Parents thought it would help their kids get exercise they wouldn't run or even try. Her team had a special needs girl on there. Everyone regardless of effort had to play 50% of the game. Show up to 0 practices play 50 % of the game half way through the season they still didn't know the rules (off-sides etc). Stand there crying on the field because you don't want to be there play 50% of the game. Trust me if there were good rec options that would keep her improving so when she is older she can choose which sport she actually prefers I would do that. If showing up to 2 practices a week and every game isn't commitment enough I'm sorry.


So, children with special needs aren't allowed to play sports? What is WRONG with you? You sound like a horrible person.

Calm down no one said that. The point is for most competitive, athletic multi-sport athletes rec is not a viable alternative.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2025 22:38     Subject: Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. My daughter’s other sport competitions don't begin until December. So we prioritize soccer in the fall when there are conflicts. The rest of the year we prioritize her other sport. No advice, but sympathy knowing not everyone wants their kids to specialize at a young age and rec is not a good alternative.


Coach here.

Out of curiosity why is rec not a good alternative?

There are a ton of great recreational programs out there that may better fit your schedule and needs. When it comes to travel you run the risk of your daughter not receiving a high amount of playing time and then many of the negative outcomes of youth soccer that come with it (kid hates the sport, costs of the sport versus the returns etc.)

I guess what I am saying is if you want to do travel is set expectations with both your coach and your player early. Don’t leave anyone blindsided because that is not fair to anyone

I never said I wasn't transparent. She was moved to a lower team even with the mention that she plays another sport. Actions like that to an 8 year old before any conflicts were even established makes me no longer want to be transparent up front. Where we live rec is terrible. I had her play up age groups and it didn't matter. Playing up she was the leading scorer on her team from midfield. Her team had several girls who did not want to be there. Parents thought it would help their kids get exercise they wouldn't run or even try. Her team had a special needs girl on there. Everyone regardless of effort had to play 50% of the game. Show up to 0 practices play 50 % of the game half way through the season they still didn't know the rules (off-sides etc). Stand there crying on the field because you don't want to be there play 50% of the game. Trust me if there were good rec options that would keep her improving so when she is older she can choose which sport she actually prefers I would do that. If showing up to 2 practices a week and every game isn't commitment enough I'm sorry.


So, children with special needs aren't allowed to play sports? What is WRONG with you? You sound like a horrible person.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2025 22:37     Subject: Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
This is called recreational league, OP.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2025 22:29     Subject: Travel Team for Kids Who Play Soccer as a Secondary Sport
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. My daughter’s other sport competitions don't begin until December. So we prioritize soccer in the fall when there are conflicts. The rest of the year we prioritize her other sport. No advice, but sympathy knowing not everyone wants their kids to specialize at a young age and rec is not a good alternative.


Coach here.

Out of curiosity why is rec not a good alternative?

There are a ton of great recreational programs out there that may better fit your schedule and needs. When it comes to travel you run the risk of your daughter not receiving a high amount of playing time and then many of the negative outcomes of youth soccer that come with it (kid hates the sport, costs of the sport versus the returns etc.)

I guess what I am saying is if you want to do travel is set expectations with both your coach and your player early. Don’t leave anyone blindsided because that is not fair to anyone

I never said I wasn't transparent. She was moved to a lower team even with the mention that she plays another sport. Actions like that to an 8 year old before any conflicts were even established makes me no longer want to be transparent up front. Where we live rec is terrible. I had her play up age groups and it didn't matter. Playing up she was the leading scorer on her team from midfield. Her team had several girls who did not want to be there. Parents thought it would help their kids get exercise they wouldn't run or even try. Her team had a special needs girl on there. Everyone regardless of effort had to play 50% of the game. Show up to 0 practices play 50 % of the game half way through the season they still didn't know the rules (off-sides etc). Stand there crying on the field because you don't want to be there play 50% of the game. Trust me if there were good rec options that would keep her improving so when she is older she can choose which sport she actually prefers I would do that. If showing up to 2 practices a week and every game isn't commitment enough I'm sorry.


I mostly get your point but take issue with the comment about the “special needs girl”. All kids deserve inclusion and guess what, it’s good for kids to learn compassion.