Anonymous wrote:I clicked on this and was ready for someone whose super little kids had been out of daycare all week and had empathy. But if you have been in the parenting game for nine years and went through Covid and are still having online meltdowns over this, there is a deeper issue. I suspect it is your DH and his lack of participation in your household.

I'm guessing it's a mix of an unhelpful DH and an OP who refuses to make thing easier on herself.

I clicked on this and was ready for someone whose super little kids had been out of daycare all week and had empathy. But if you have been in the parenting game for nine years and went through Covid and are still having online meltdowns over this, there is a deeper issue. I suspect it is your DH and his lack of participation in your household.

I hate this style of obnoxious martyr mom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then they don't get to sled and you don't do laundry. Prioritize what actually needs to be done. You can wear dirty clothes and have bored kids on tablets while you recover and do some semblance of work.

This. But I'm confused why DH is off the hook if you both work? I am SAHM so I have never understood the dynamics of this.

Agreed. Time for DH to tap in. Is he home?

OP - he is helping when he isn't on calls. But he typically has calls off and on all day starting at 8:30am until around 6pm. He has been helping in the evenings when he isn't working. But during the work hours he is working pretty much non-stop while I take care of the kids because there is no school.

It takes less than a minute to throw in a load of laundry. Surely he can find the time.

But (insert excuse here) . . .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then they don't get to sled and you don't do laundry. Prioritize what actually needs to be done. You can wear dirty clothes and have bored kids on tablets while you recover and do some semblance of work.

This. But I'm confused why DH is off the hook if you both work? I am SAHM so I have never understood the dynamics of this.

Because husbands understand that money and mental health comes first, and kids' wants come last.

When DH and I are sick the priorities are
DS' needs
Our own needs (i.e the person who is sick)
Other spouse's needs
Work needs
DS' wants
House needs and everything else.

If we are sick and spouse isn't able to completely take over, we make sure DS is fed and taken care of, but it's lots of movies and quiet time. If we are trying not to throw up, we aren't bundling up and taking him sledding.

Anonymous wrote:Imagine if you had real problems. You’d crumple to dust.

Couldn’t agree more. Suck it up buttercup. Your house will be a mess for a few days. Or DH and kids help more. It’s not rocket science.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

OP - kids are between 4-9 years old.

Then the older ones should be capable of making you tea, heating up soup for you, and taking the 4 yr old outside to play and entertains them inside. They need to level up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then they don't get to sled and you don't do laundry. Prioritize what actually needs to be done. You can wear dirty clothes and have bored kids on tablets while you recover and do some semblance of work.

This. But I'm confused why DH is off the hook if you both work? I am SAHM so I have never understood the dynamics of this.

Agreed. Time for DH to tap in. Is he home?

OP - he is helping when he isn't on calls. But he typically has calls off and on all day starting at 8:30am until around 6pm. He has been helping in the evenings when he isn't working. But during the work hours he is working pretty much non-stop while I take care of the kids because there is no school.

I would leave most of the cleaning and all the laundry until he is done with work. DH and I both work and on days when the kids are home and we are super busy, we feed really simple meals on plastic or paper plates and clean in a batch either at lunch or the end to the day. I would throw the laundry in at night and dry kid winter stuff in front of the fireplace if that is the laundry thing.

I too hate mess in my house (I don't know anyone who likes it...) but you gotta triage for your sanity.

Also maybe lower your expectations for sledding etc. I have gotten my kids out every day for about an hour or two between calls. My oldest who is 8 will play in the yard solo. My youngest has been reading, playing with toys, doing crafts, and yep watching tv. They have loved the snow days. I am in a couple of text threads with people spending the whole day outside, parents with baileys in their coffee, etc. Grateful to be included and that does sound fun buttttt it's not possible for us and my kids don't know any different!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then they don't get to sled and you don't do laundry. Prioritize what actually needs to be done. You can wear dirty clothes and have bored kids on tablets while you recover and do some semblance of work.

This. But I'm confused why DH is off the hook if you both work? I am SAHM so I have never understood the dynamics of this.

Agreed. Time for DH to tap in. Is he home?

OP - he is helping when he isn't on calls. But he typically has calls off and on all day starting at 8:30am until around 6pm. He has been helping in the evenings when he isn't working. But during the work hours he is working pretty much non-stop while I take care of the kids because there is no school.

But you both work. If his job is so important that he can’t pitch in/take some leave with a sick wife and young kids home on a snow day then he should be making enough that you can throw money at the problem- ie send out laundry, hire a sitter to come entertain your kids/take them out in the snow.

Don't martyr yourself. Take out and DH can do dishes and laundry later. You take sick leave from work. Kids go sledding once then it's movies, quiet games, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then they don't get to sled and you don't do laundry. Prioritize what actually needs to be done. You can wear dirty clothes and have bored kids on tablets while you recover and do some semblance of work.

This. But I'm confused why DH is off the hook if you both work? I am SAHM so I have never understood the dynamics of this.

Because husbands understand that money and mental health comes first, and kids' wants come last.

I’m sorry OP. Sounds like this is a fourth snow day for your kids? Ooof. They’ve had time in the snow. Let them watch, take a sick day, and rest.

Hope you feel better soon.

If the kids are 4-9, the older one helps the little one bundle up and they play right outside where you can see them.

Modern parenting expectations are so unrealistic. If I could go back in time, I’d have my kids at 22, and start a career after the youngest hit 12.

Imagine if you had real problems. You’d crumple to dust.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

OP - kids are between 4-9 years old.

Time for them to learn life skills

They make the food . They help
With laundry etc . By the way laundry can wait keeping your house clean while you spread germs awesome parenting.

Get in the couch and do your dam job as a mother and teach them how to help you,

For <bleep's> sake that might be the least helpful thing ever said on DCUM.

Now's not the time for this lecture.