Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 17:12     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You, and possibly your daughter, have to learn how to process such remarks. You are not being a good role model for now, OP. Teach your child that remarks like these will be made all her life, for any and all decisions she announces. Pregnancies, career moves, lifestyle, homes, cars, ANYTHING. You can't control what comes out of people's mouth - you can only control the way you think.


So people can't think these folks are rude?


DP but yes, we can all think that these people are rude and say so. I think we've gone way too far in the direction of "well anyone can say anything and you can't criticize people for expressing an opinion." Actually, yeah, you can. Some opinions are ill-considered and uninformed. People need to learn to be quiet sometimes.


Right on
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 15:49     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do they do it? Dd went to a friend's bday family party, and adults there asked where she was going to college. She answered our state flagship. Immediately these people started telling her she would be sooo bored there, it's so small, nothing to do. It's not even in a small town, and it's a big school with lots of going out options! I think it's so rude to do this especially to a child, though I've heard plenty of comments myself over the years, about anything from working from home ("you're wasting your best years!") to mean comments when we moved ("I hate burb living") and other similar crap.


Because the people saying it don't view it as rude or negative. They are so use to doing it , they think they are just informing you of something or making conversation.

I used to be this way and I had to work really hard to break this habit. But I first had to recognize that I wasn't "just saying" or "giving information", and acknowledge those were excuses I told myself. I have probably now veered too far in the other direction now but I feel that's better than veering towards negative.


I think this is correct, and I am working on this also. It's similar to what another PP said about the person not being good at small talk and social situations.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:45     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Anonymous wrote:Spouting off awful and rude things has become more normalized nowadays because, well, you know.


I agree with this but I think there is more to it. With social media so many people are desperate to be relevant and they really believe what they have to say or "share" is valuable.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:36     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you considered that maybe they are correct?

Sounded like opinions, so there is not objective truth. Even still, though, that wouldn’t make it not rude. Not all true things need to be stated.


This. Once an adult came up to my daughter and said "oh my god, you don't have eyebrows at all." This was 100% true. It's also a worthless thing to point out, especially for an adult to say to a child. My daughter couldn't do anything about her lack of eyebrows and the effect of the comment was just to make her feel self conscious about it.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:32     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Anonymous wrote:Have you considered that maybe they are correct?


There's no such thing as "correct" in this situation. It's their opinion, and an opinion of a situation and person they barely knew at that. Totally worthless.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:26     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That is so rude!

Teach your daughter to politely push back on these people. A simple ‘Really? I think there’s lots to do’ or ‘I’m very excited about attending this school.’

I’m also a fan of ‘what an odd thing to say.’


That’s a good comeback. I have a cousin who does this for young nephew’s facial hair. She digs into her stance and thinks they’re “teasing”?


Or they pat themselves on the back for “telling it like it is.”
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:25     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Anonymous wrote:Have you considered that maybe they are correct?

Sounded like opinions, so there is not objective truth. Even still, though, that wouldn’t make it not rude. Not all true things need to be stated.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:25     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Never happened to me. I also wouldn't know what they told my kid. You two must be chatter-boxes.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:13     Subject: People who are negative and rude
I try to either let the person know they're being an ass ("why are you trying to make me feel bad?") or just semi-rudely walk away ("oh excuse me, I need to get a drink.")
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:13     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You, and possibly your daughter, have to learn how to process such remarks. You are not being a good role model for now, OP. Teach your child that remarks like these will be made all her life, for any and all decisions she announces. Pregnancies, career moves, lifestyle, homes, cars, ANYTHING. You can't control what comes out of people's mouth - you can only control the way you think.


So people can't think these folks are rude?


DP but yes, we can all think that these people are rude and say so. I think we've gone way too far in the direction of "well anyone can say anything and you can't criticize people for expressing an opinion." Actually, yeah, you can. Some opinions are ill-considered and uninformed. People need to learn to be quiet sometimes.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:12     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Yes, some people are rude. Your 17 year old can handle it, though!
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:12     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Anonymous wrote:That is so rude!

Teach your daughter to politely push back on these people. A simple ‘Really? I think there’s lots to do’ or ‘I’m very excited about attending this school.’

I’m also a fan of ‘what an odd thing to say.’


That’s a good comeback. I have a cousin who does this for young nephew’s facial hair. She digs into her stance and thinks they’re “teasing”?
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2025 13:09     Subject: People who are negative and rude
Have you considered that maybe they are correct?