Anonymous
01/02/2025 17:30
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Sometimes the cheapest way to pay for something is with money; in this case, finishing the job.
Odds are very good this ends in one of two ways, if you continue with him:
1) More is asked for, again, with more delays (what's the incentive to be fast at this point?), with more holding you hostage because of fear of what he might or might not do in retaliation. It would be worth significant money to me not to be in this trap, and I'd rather spend that money with someone where it was straightforward.
2) Somehow you get him to finish without "helping" him more, just for the amounts you already had expected to pay. he's already resentful. How likely is it that he retaliates in this situation, where you "won" against him? High. Again, worth money to me.
I'd end it now. "We aren't going to be able to do any more work in the foreseeable future, and this will have to be finished another time. I'm sorry, we are grieving [or something], and I can't talk about it." Change locks and passcodes, block number. You might make him mad, but if it's too difficult to retaliate effectively, he's grift onto the next person. Then finish the project with someone in a licensed and bonded company a bit later.
You almost always end up paying. Make the pay to someone who is accountable and professional, not in increasingly uncomfortable installments to someone who offered to do it cheaper.
Odds are very good this ends in one of two ways, if you continue with him:
1) More is asked for, again, with more delays (what's the incentive to be fast at this point?), with more holding you hostage because of fear of what he might or might not do in retaliation. It would be worth significant money to me not to be in this trap, and I'd rather spend that money with someone where it was straightforward.
2) Somehow you get him to finish without "helping" him more, just for the amounts you already had expected to pay. he's already resentful. How likely is it that he retaliates in this situation, where you "won" against him? High. Again, worth money to me.
I'd end it now. "We aren't going to be able to do any more work in the foreseeable future, and this will have to be finished another time. I'm sorry, we are grieving [or something], and I can't talk about it." Change locks and passcodes, block number. You might make him mad, but if it's too difficult to retaliate effectively, he's grift onto the next person. Then finish the project with someone in a licensed and bonded company a bit later.
You almost always end up paying. Make the pay to someone who is accountable and professional, not in increasingly uncomfortable installments to someone who offered to do it cheaper.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 17:23
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Say you can offer a speedy completion bonus if he gets the work done properly by X date. Then change locks.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 17:07
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Give him a counter offer with a friendly “hey, was trying to figure a way we could help more but had some unexpected health expenses arise. We can offer $xxx for you and then of course will pay the balance on the job once completed and can maybe add another $100 onto that after completion but I don’t have extra available at the moment.”
Anonymous
01/02/2025 17:06
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
I'd insist on completion of the project before discussing any further work. In the future, if someone working for you makes such a request, decide how much the relationship means to you. Are you likely to find another handyman, gardener, house cleaner, babysitter that meets your needs? If the answer is no, give them some money (what amount you are willing to give not necessarily what they have asked for), hand it to them in cash and say this is a ONE TIME GIFT but you cannot do any more. This has worked very well for me with relatives, friends and people doing work for me.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 17:05
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is this guy licensed and bonded?
+1 file a complaint.
Filing a lawsuit may be in your future.
What is the upside for op? So much aggravation. I would treat with careful, calculated kindness and then be done rather than risk further trouble.
Maintaining civilization requires effort from us all.
At the expense of your personal safety in a situation like this? No. This is a gray area and self-preservation/protecting family really matters more here.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 16:56
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Anonymous wrote:Haven’t you been paying him? He should use that money.
This is OP. He has been paid in installments and has taken longer than expected to finish a job (keep coming late and a 10 day project turned into over a month) thus running out of money. What he’s requesting is more money than what’s owed at the end. He has suggested doing another project for us but I want to end the reno process.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 16:19
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Offer to pay half of what is owed at the end of the job now.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 16:08
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is this guy licensed and bonded?
+1 file a complaint.
Filing a lawsuit may be in your future.
What is the upside for op? So much aggravation. I would treat with careful, calculated kindness and then be done rather than risk further trouble.
Maintaining civilization requires effort from us all.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 16:06
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is this guy licensed and bonded?
+1 file a complaint.
Filing a lawsuit may be in your future.
What is the upside for op? So much aggravation. I would treat with careful, calculated kindness and then be done rather than risk further trouble.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 15:27
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Is he undocumented?
Anonymous
01/02/2025 15:25
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Anonymous wrote:Is this guy licensed and bonded?
+1 file a complaint.
Filing a lawsuit may be in your future.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 15:21
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Is this guy licensed and bonded?
Anonymous
01/02/2025 15:00
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much does he want to borrow?
Doesn’t matter. It is inappropriate to ask and even more so to keep pushing after the answer is no.
True, but if it’s a couple hundred dollars, I’d loan it, have him finish the work without being resentful, after the work is complete I’d change my locks, and then I’d be surprised if he paid me back. I’d be a little scared of him now and just want as peaceful an exit as possible.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 14:54
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
Haven’t you been paying him? He should use that money.
Anonymous
01/02/2025 14:52
Subject: How to tell someone no when asking to borrow money
This is so inappropriate and you never should’ve given him money the first time.
I agree with the poster suggesting cameras and a security system.
I agree with the poster suggesting cameras and a security system.