Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

Your spouse needs a parenting class at a minimum.

Anonymous wrote:Spanking with the hand in that scenario, maybe, if all else had failed. Spanking with a belt, hell no.

Yeah, this. My kids have never been spanked. But it’s a hell no to a belt.

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

Where is the parenting prior to the spanking!? He’s 4 and clearly overwhelmed and acting out. Why didn’t you or DH remove him from the situation once he hit a pet and person?

Anonymous wrote:The bright side is now you’ll never have to do it again and alluding to it will always serve as a deterrent. My kids remember their spanking and it’s 5-7 years later

The bad news is that they fear you and don’t feel safe around you. They remember that time that you couldn’t control yourself and resorted to violence. They may not express that directly to you, but deep down, it’s there. Your home is not a safe place.

The good news for you is that you’ve created this narrative for yourself that you’re this amazing parent and above reproach. Your immaturity prevents you from self-reflection and truly growing as a person.

The bright side is now you’ll never have to do it again and alluding to it will always serve as a deterrent. My kids remember their spanking and it’s 5-7 years later

You should have left grandparents house long before hitting him. Terrible parents to keep him there. Obviously he wasn’t handling it for whatever reasons.

It sounds like child was out of control and DH didn’t know how to handle it. I would teach DH 1-2-3 magic. It’s not perfect, but it gives control back to the parent.

Then I would look into a more CBT-based parenting class, so that the spouse can be an effective parent.

If the physical discipline stops, I’d let the incident go.

If the physical continued and grew worse, I’d start documenting in preparation for divorce.

Ah the good ole days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Belt is not ok but those actions do call for a spanking.

You don’t have to tell us you don’t believe in spanking. Everyone can tell when around your kids.

So this is how your DH was raised?

Must be since he seems to know that you can use a belt to discipline a child. I would only think of it as something to hold my pants up.

You guys need to talk about this and how to handle DS when he messes up as he will

Because your DH has some ghosts in the nursery and his instincts are bad.

Like your child, your husband made poor choices. Can someone now strike him with a belt hard enough to leave a mark?

Anonymous wrote:Belt is not ok but those actions do call for a spanking.

He is 4. They thrive with structure and routine. The holidays throw all of that off. Add the excitement of Christmas, guests, often less sleep and more treats…well they are pretty much set up to fail.

Ironic he hit the kid for hitting. Brilliant.

There are only a handful of things where I will absolutely put the fear of God into H, and physical punishment is one of them.

Dog needs to be locked away. Small kids need to be taught how to behave around dogs, and a busy holiday spanning several hours is NOT the time to do it.

Sounds like kids was also overstimulated, tired, bored, etc. Parents need to make sure there ar things to occupy the kids and leave events BEFORE kids start acting out.