Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dont waste your youth on some old loser.

OP here. Posted because of my daughter’s new relationship. There is a voice in my head agreeing with this sentiment

Oof. I was once your daughter - started dating a 38 year old when I was 23 (and dated him for 3 years).

The best thing you can do is always be non-judgmental and open to talking to her. My parents were super judgy, which made me shut down and hide things from them. So when things started going south (and they WILL go south), I had nobody to talk to and I stayed in that relationship far longer than I should have.

The other thing would be to also encourage her to go out and have fun with people her own age. Anything that will get her out meeting men her own age.

If he has a good career and no first family (no ex wife, no kids), and there isn’t some employee/boss dynamic going on, then I don’t think it’s terrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dont waste your youth on some old loser.

OP here. Posted because of my daughter’s new relationship. There is a voice in my head agreeing with this sentiment

How do you consider them equal? Is she ugly and rich?

DD is pretty but tells me that she feels average looking compared to other 20 somethings in DC. He is a handsome 38. As I mentioned a few comments back, she has a large trust fund and he has a good career.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are 13 years apart. We have been together, and very happy, for over 20 years. Our age difference has never been an issue aside from my occasional annoyance with boomer nonsense the past few years. But that is a cultural difference -- a generation one -- not an age one. They aren't exactly the same thing.

We are both very attractive and met at work as we are both lawyers -- if that is "equal footing" for you, whatever that means.

She has a large trust fund (and good start to her career) while he is a successful attorney. I mentioned the equal footing because I think some people assume a younger woman is after money and that is not the dynamic here

She would be very hard-pressed to find a man of equal looks and financial footing who is also in his 20s. The vast majority of men in her income bracket (let's say top 10%) are in their 50s and up, so once you filter those men out, you're realistically talking a fellow trust fund kid.

That is the trouble with women chasing Mr. Perfect... Odds are, they won't find him, and if they do, why would he choose her over the dozens of other eligible women he communicates with?

You should thank your DD for being wise and doing well for herself in choosing this man, rather than wasting her youth on Tinder hookups or chasing some fictitious top 1% man. Most women her age lack that prudence and pay the price.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a sense of “why” he was single at 38? Divorce or kids?

Never married, no children, has had serious girlfriends

Anonymous wrote:This is the age gap between me and my husband but it’s DIFFERENT because we met at 34 and 48. It’s weird for a 38 yo to date a 24 yo because there’s so huge a gap in adult life experiences.

I agree. A divorced dad wanting to date a co-ed is just... icky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How insane would it be for a 24 year old woman & 38 year old man to be in relationship? What about with an equal playing field in terms of looks and finances?

My best friend and her husband have this exact age gap. He was her boss at the time so she had to find another job but they’ve been happily married for 25 years.

That's disgusting, what a predator.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dont waste your youth on some old loser.

OP here. Posted because of my daughter’s new relationship. There is a voice in my head agreeing with this sentiment

How do you consider them equal? Is she ugly and rich?

Do you have a sense of “why” he was single at 38? Divorce or kids?

This is the age gap between me and my husband but it’s DIFFERENT because we met at 34 and 48. It’s weird for a 38 yo to date a 24 yo because there’s so huge a gap in adult life experiences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I date 24 year olds in my 40s, but neither of us ever think it will lead to marriage. If either party thinks that will be successful, they’re likely in for a rude awakening.

20s & 40s is a different story - have you been married before? Would assume any man 40+ is either divorced or unmarried for a good reason

You assume right, this divorced immature loser is here every day looking for people to tell that he dates women in their 20s. He is no catch and clearly the young women figure that out and move on.

Our diff is 13 years and I definitely have felt it.

There will be a day you’re still young and want to do things and he has to nap after he comes from work, goes to bed at 9:00pm and forgets everything.

Also, I’ve had times when people thought he was my dad and I’m embarrassed to share family pictures with coworkers because they will think I’m old too.

I don’t think it’s super great - your DD should have options closer to her age - but I don’t feel as strongly about it as I would if there was an imbalance of economic power.

Anonymous wrote:How insane would it be for a 24 year old woman & 38 year old man to be in relationship? What about with an equal playing field in terms of looks and finances?

My best friend and her husband have this exact age gap. He was her boss at the time so she had to find another job but they’ve been happily married for 25 years.

My husband is 52 and I am 40. He is blessed with great genes because he looks younger than I do.