If I could have a do over, I might not marry at all. Making money is easy. My life isn’t mine at the moment. Everything I make goes to the care of others. I drive a crappy car but my kids’ 529 plans are fully funded and we send my in laws over $30k a year for their care. In another life I’d stay single, find girlfriends to travel with and spend holidays together, and just have lovers that don’t take anything from me.

Anonymous wrote:Love! I am 51 now and in our 40s it was tough - little kids, lots of career challenges, difficult extended family. But we got through and now have heaps of money and a very relaxed life.

I am a female breadwinner too like many on the this thread who married for love. I earn well over $1m. DH earns $90k. But when we started going out he was earning money while I was a broke student.

What do you do?

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't marry at all.

This is the way

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying for money is always a mistake.

I married for love.

If I could do it again, I'd marry for sex.

We married for sex. We're still going strong, but sex at 47 is very different from sex at 27.

How so?

Anonymous wrote:Marrying for money is always a mistake.

I married for love.

If I could do it again, I'd marry for sex.

We married for sex. We're still going strong, but sex at 47 is very different from sex at 27.

Anonymous wrote:Marrying for money is always a mistake.

I married for love.

If I could do it again, I'd marry for sex.

This made me laugh 😆. I think as you get older and more financially independent, this has appeal!

Love! I am 51 now and in our 40s it was tough - little kids, lots of career challenges, difficult extended family. But we got through and now have heaps of money and a very relaxed life.

I am a female breadwinner too like many on the this thread who married for love. I earn well over $1m. DH earns $90k. But when we started going out he was earning money while I was a broke student.

Happy with a middle class life. I have everything I need and much of what I want. I like our small house - less to clean and it forces us to be together. Love 100% as long as he's stable, has a "good" income and makes us the priority.

I would not marry at all. Biggest mistake I ever made.

Love. Had the money, enough at least. It was torture with an abusive XH. I'll make my own money. Nothing is worth abuse for life.

Anonymous wrote:Love. I make my own money.

+1

Marrying for money is always a mistake.

I married for love.

If I could do it again, I'd marry for sex.

You know there is a ranking for like, how to give birth that I think is likely relevant here. They say like in order of preference it is like

1) Uncomplicated vaginal birth
2) Planned c section

<insert precipitous drop in quality>

3) Emergency c section

<sometimes another precipitous drop>

4) Vaginal delivery with issues

5) Vaginal delivery where you got really far and experienced issues that then leads to an emergency c section (worst of all worlds)

I think this likely holds true in this kind of question too, all other things being equal its like

1) Happy deep love marriage

2) Happy marriage that isn't necessarily deep love but mutual respect, financial stability etd

<insert precipitous drop>

3) Marriage between two people who don't really love each other but don't really hate each other, roommates coexisting

<insert precipitous drop>

4) Love marriage that went south into hate

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love. I make the money.

Same. Female breadwinner. I don’t need him to provide UMC lifestyle when I’ve done it already. Love + Friendship is happiness.

I know I'd be happy living with my husband in a crappy apartment because we did it. We met in college, worked through grad/law school together.

You can make money, you can't make a spark.

The love my husband and I have is probably the best thing in my entire life. Would be happy living with him in a crappy apartment.