Anonymous wrote:Thanks I do think it’s hormonal. I’m very good at times about guided meditation and praying. I was raised by a negligent borderline narcissist so at times I feel like although I am very self aware my childhood has conditional me to spiral and have that kind of obsessive anger when I’m at my most stressed.
I am like you at times and it's definitely due to childhood issues. I think it's a result of neglect. We hold onto things because as children we literally had to -- we had to hold all our feelings and needs and be hyper vigilant because we could not trust the adults in our lives to parent us.
CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) has been helpful to me because it helps me recognize unhealthy thought patterns and learn to shift them. And then combining that with therapy or journaling or both. So basically learning how to control my thought processes and make them more productive, and then practicing the new thought patterns via journaling or talking to a therapist. Over time you can kind of re-wire your brain to move on from things.
I will say that the caveat is that some deep harms... I still really struggle moving forward. I've become someone who lets go of all the small stuff -- I will never be derailed by a rude server in a restaurant or a bad driver or something like that at this point. But I've had a handful of really deep cuts as an adult and whew I'm still working on getting over it. For that I just have to keep working on it. I will go months or even years thinking I'm done with it and then something will happen and I'll realize it's still in there somewhere.
I don't know if that's normal or not. It's normal for me.