Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After I got my first real job, I wrote my parents a large check as a thank you for supporting me. My father scoffed and snidely commented that he wouldn't have sold his favorite gun if he'd known I was going to write them a check. I understand now that he's always had mental health issues, and that his issues aren't my fault. But for so long I wondered why he hated me.

It’s extremely strange to write your parents a check. They chose to have you, of course they had to support you.

I disagree. All behavior makes sense if you understand what leads to that behavior. It would seem to me that this woman wrote the check because she was never made to feel like her parents wanted to support her, or it was a burden to parent/support her. So paying back what felt like a debt is not "extremely strange." I can relate. Consider yourself lucky that it would feel strange for you to feel compelled to do that.

+1 I still feel like I should have written a check to my Dad when I broke my arm at age 12. It was $457 and 36 years ago. I never heard the end of how much that broken arm cost him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After I got my first real job, I wrote my parents a large check as a thank you for supporting me. My father scoffed and snidely commented that he wouldn't have sold his favorite gun if he'd known I was going to write them a check. I understand now that he's always had mental health issues, and that his issues aren't my fault. But for so long I wondered why he hated me.

It’s extremely strange to write your parents a check. They chose to have you, of course they had to support you.

I disagree. All behavior makes sense if you understand what leads to that behavior. It would seem to me that this woman wrote the check because she was never made to feel like her parents wanted to support her, or it was a burden to parent/support her. So paying back what felt like a debt is not "extremely strange." I can relate. Consider yourself lucky that it would feel strange for you to feel compelled to do that.

Four years after our divorce my daughter filmed him screaming “I hope she kills herself” really killed me.

Who wants that for their children- of the mom who has primary custody for a reason.

Anonymous wrote:One day I was riding in the car with my exDH and he was upset about something and said….I want to bash your head into the steering wheel. I was shocked. He’d never spoken to me like that before. It was clear that he hated me. That was the beginning of the end of our marriage. And he did in fact physically attack me shortly after. So listen up when someone talks like that.

Mine was similar, and I’m sorry.

Him calling me a c@nt while leaving a home he’d destroyed- in front of the neighborhood/ hurt a lot.

Anonymous wrote:After I got my first real job, I wrote my parents a large check as a thank you for supporting me. My father scoffed and snidely commented that he wouldn't have sold his favorite gun if he'd known I was going to write them a check. I understand now that he's always had mental health issues, and that his issues aren't my fault. But for so long I wondered why he hated me.

It’s extremely strange to write your parents a check. They chose to have you, of course they had to support you.

Anonymous wrote:Here’s mine: DH telling me that he’s glad when I die and that neither he nor the kids will miss me. Upon saying that this is hurtful he said who will miss the witch. This was following a health scare. I just can’t unhear this.

Get divorced! Life is short!

My H cheated on me while I was pregnant and for 6 months after. When I asked why, his reason was “she can talk about literature and The Hero’s Journey”.

I could have handled something real like he felt neglected, or wasn’t happy with our sex life. But the way he said it was a flat out “she is smarter and more special than you, and you are just a boring housewife with no interesting qualities”.

During reconciliation he told me he couldn’t feel romantic about me because I didn’t listen to the same music, read the same books, or watch the same movies.

(He fancied himself the deep tortured artist type, while I’m mostly into pop culture).

Also when asked what he liked about me, he couldn’t come up with a single thing.

Those three things stick out - just making it blatantly obvious that he’s at a level above me.

Funny thing is, after all of that I ended up making quite a bit of money writing and worked on some projects with a film studio. Meanwhile he’s been talking for years about all these big art projects he’s working on but he’s never completed a single one.

When I saw the Barbie movie last year it finally clicked - he’s one of those guys who just wants a woman to fawn over how much he knows about The Godfather.

After my ILs refused to help with a babysitting emergency related to my work my mother said "He acts like he's in his own world, he doesn't make enough money to take care of you, and his parents may as well be dead. Why did you even marry him."

Anonymous wrote:Here’s mine: DH telling me that he’s glad when I die and that neither he nor the kids will miss me. Upon saying that this is hurtful he said who will miss the witch. This was following a health scare. I just can’t unhear this.

The "DH" implies you're still married to this mouth-breather...

My (former) therapist told me, "You're just like your mother!!". My mother abused and neglected me when I was a child. I grew up believing I was unlovable because even my own mother didn't like me. I am nothing like her. My therapist took it back, but the damage was done.

Anonymous wrote:My husband said that his brother “married up”. I still feel like shit when I think about that.

As opposed to your husband? That’s mean. But I wish that were the meanest my DH had said to me.

My husband said that his brother “married up”. I still feel like shit when I think about that.

Most of these are something that parents said - since this is the relationship forum, I was more thinking of spouses or partners.

I was always significantly overweight as a child, from 7-8 years old.

When I was 10 or 11 I was looking in the mirror complaining about my big forehead, which I was self-conscious about. My dad said "You should worry about the size of your butt instead"

Same age, when talking about my weight, he said "Don't you want boys to like you?"

Sometime in middle school. I made a dumb mistake that ruined the takeout pizza on the way home in the car. My friend was with us and when he saw he said to her "Larla's an idiot." Actually he said "Larla's a idiot" which somehow made it even more enraging.

There are a lot more, but these are the ones that are the most memorable and intrusive.

Here’s mine: DH telling me that he’s glad when I die and that neither he nor the kids will miss me. Upon saying that this is hurtful he said who will miss the witch. This was following a health scare. I just can’t unhear this.