OP is deranged, going right to a "reality" TV show as her model. I see why the kid is having so much trouble growing up.

Ok, so what is really going on here is: OP truly does want to kick her kid out, because his drug use is out of control and affecting not only his success but the rest of the family as well. And he won't go to rehab.

So ... she's looking for somewhere else to park him. But she totally buried that drug-use lede (actually tried to avoid mentioning it at all), and any good responses to her initial post are not going to work -- he would get kicked out almost immediately.

Anonymous wrote:Not to derail this thread but a depressed person (barring any other diagnoses) IS neurotypical. Depression is not neurodivergence of any sort. I really hate when posters don't have a clue what they are talking about and start inserting their useless opinions.

Having something wrong with your brain that disrupts its normal function and can literally be visualized in certain kinds of imaging means your neurology is…typical?

No, it does not mean that.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, rehab an Oxford house.

This but if he uses he will be kicked out of Oxford house within the hour. So have a plan for if he calls you and the choices are your house or a homeless shelter (if the latter is even available...in DC it would only be guaranteed if it's hypothermia season).

Anonymous wrote:Thank you all

So, i don’t want to kick him out, but he’s not been the most respectful about our rules.
Adding to the issue is that a year out of rehab (for drugs) he is using again.
Obviously this adds to the current “sleeping life away”.
I hate our 12 yo seeing this. She doesn’t like being home when he’s altered (from illicit drugs)

I more or less am gathering information for what we may be looking for.

It looks like no one has any suggestions about living situations.

Peace out.

FFS, way to bury the lede.

Yes, there are plenty of "group homes" just for this ... it's called "rehab."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are residential places for failure to launch, if that's what you mean?

Yes.

(Until 2 years ago I would have thought DS was going to college.

HS was friends, sports, extra curriculars, did school work.

Came home after first semester of college with no intention of returning.

Not working. Not studying. Struggles with clinical depression.

It is sad. My efforts seem futile. So hoping to outsource help.
-OP

He’s not neurotypical; he’s depressed. Is his depression adequately treated?

+100

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This could be such a nice archived resource if responses would stay on topic rather than asking OP about her parenting.

Housing. Just housing. Good grief DCUM.

Housing for a young person with recently-diagnosed depression is VERY different than housing for a person with an active substance abuse disorder. OP asked about the first, but needs the second.

Exactly! Geez.

Anonymous wrote:This could be such a nice archived resource if responses would stay on topic rather than asking OP about her parenting.

Housing. Just housing. Good grief DCUM.

Housing for a young person with recently-diagnosed depression is VERY different than housing for a person with an active substance abuse disorder. OP asked about the first, but needs the second.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about a supportive housing situation like Mansfield Hall?

https://mansfieldhall.org/about/

Thank you. -OP

I don’t know anything about this program but strongly support they will not allow someone who is actively abusing drugs to reside there.

He needs to go straight back to rehab and you need some counseling to learn to set boundaries, I.e., “I love you and want to help, but you cannot live here and I will not support you unless you’re in active recovery.”

Yes, rehab an Oxford house.

This could be such a nice archived resource if responses would stay on topic rather than asking OP about her parenting.

Housing. Just housing. Good grief DCUM.

WTF, OP??

Are you living on a different planet? Now it's drugs and being disrespectful? So, you DO want to kick him out. Why are you expecting good advice when you are asking the wrong questions?

You are destroying your son's life - and your relationship - by misdiagnosing and being combative (you can tell you are by the way you write about him). He needs treatment, not a group home yet. He's self medicating, if you haven't been able to piece that together.

You also need therapy ASAP.

You buried the lede there with the drug abuse issue.

Anonymous wrote:What about a supportive housing situation like Mansfield Hall?

https://mansfieldhall.org/about/

Thank you. -OP