Yes. Tons.

And it's just stuff.

Let it go OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sibling manipulated my parent into changing their will to favor my sibling. This sibling had already exhibited bullying tendencies for years, so it really wasn’t hard to just stop having anything to do with her.

This situation with my parent’s will caused me to look back and realize that this sibling had always been a bully, but was outgoing and “charming” to people who didn’t know her well. It was really only to family, and especially me, that she showed her mean and very unpleasant side. It took years for me to recognize this, though.

I could have written this! Same kind of sibling - oh so charming to others. Like you, it took years before I finally had enough - especially when sibling did not close out parent's estate as listed in the will, took expensive things they were not entitled to, and didn't divide some assets as designated. It wasn't worth fighting over.

I cut sibling out of my life years ago and have zero regrets.

PP here. Yes, it takes a while to realize that someone is like this. And yes, no regrets about not having her in my life. I made a decision not to talk behind her back and I know that she badmouths me to others, but I just ignore. People who know me know that she is not telling the truth, and laugh with me about the things she says, so there’s that. Just glad not to have to deal with her.

My aunt did not tell her siblings, my dad and another aunt, that their mom had passed until she took her daughter and DiL to take what they wanted from the home. She then sold the house without telling my dad and aunt what she was doing. I learned about it at a party from a guy I had known since childhood as his parents were buying it.

No thankfully.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Much more likely that caregivers steal things in my experience.

A $200,000 ring went missing when my cousin was watching MIL. I don’t trust her for a second. She tries to defer to the aide, but I don’t think it was the aide. We will never know though.

Whoa. That’s a lotta rock.

Anonymous wrote:Much more likely that caregivers steal things in my experience.

A $200,000 ring went missing when my cousin was watching MIL. I don’t trust her for a second. She tries to defer to the aide, but I don’t think it was the aide. We will never know though.

Yes, but this sibling has behavioral issues like this throughout their life- stealing was a lifelong thing, and from everyone wherever they went. When our mother was declining, I would get calls at work from nurse caretakers that this sibling would show up and try to manipulate my mother and then steak things from her house.

So, my situation is definitely different than what you are talking about- someone just using this opportunity to take advantage from.

Both parents have passed and all siblings worked together as best as we could to make everything as smooth as possible. We learned that from our parents where all worked together in one family where the older sibling ripped off our dad/aunt in their family.

I don’t see DH’s sibling stealing per se, but do know that they believe they are entitled to certain things just because. Just because includes that they don’t want to be bothered by the sale of real estate, so they should get the liquid assets. Also includes that they should get a painting by an artist of some renown because they “appreciate culture better than” we do. And that their kids should have as much of their college ed paid for as possible because we can afford it. Ditto that their kids should get any possible inheritance. There is always a “just because” reason about why they should get to choose what they want from the estate first and that we make do with the remainders.

So not necessarily stealing, but definitely angling to ensure that everything of worth goes to them.

Anonymous wrote:sibling's ex-husband stole a bunch of $$ from my mom. Sister still has a connection with him and demonizes my mom.

I would find that very hard. Is your mom still living?

sibling's ex-husband stole a bunch of $$ from my mom. Sister still has a connection with him and demonizes my mom.

Anonymous wrote:My sibling manipulated my parent into changing their will to favor my sibling. This sibling had already exhibited bullying tendencies for years, so it really wasn’t hard to just stop having anything to do with her.

This situation with my parent’s will caused me to look back and realize that this sibling had always been a bully, but was outgoing and “charming” to people who didn’t know her well. It was really only to family, and especially me, that she showed her mean and very unpleasant side. It took years for me to recognize this, though.

I could have written this! Same kind of sibling - oh so charming to others. Like you, it took years before I finally had enough - especially when sibling did not close out parent's estate as listed in the will, took expensive things they were not entitled to, and didn't divide some assets as designated. It wasn't worth fighting over.

I cut sibling out of my life years ago and have zero regrets.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to attach less importance to things, OP.

My Grandmother wanted me to inherit her jewelry. My aunt took the jewelry as "payment" for taking care of Grandma in her declining years. My Grandma had just passed and never consented to this.

My mother and I did nothing about it. It's just jewelry. In the end, my aunt has to live with herself. We still see her occasionally. She's quite a character. Eh. I don't really care. It's just stuff.

If these prints are really something you wanted to share, then you go to her house and take a number you deem fair.

It's not about things. It's about the character of this person who is your family member.
I started to understand why the spouse spent nearly 1M in attorney fees for the divorce and their kids took it as an opportunity to cut off relations. They lived on the opposite coast, rarely visited so none of the family was clued into how sibling's character was transforming.

After many years, it's still such a shock. I think I'm really naive about people.

PP you replied to. Ah, well, if it comes to character and you're only now discovering your relative is problematic in that quarter, I understand why you're in shock. I've always know my family has moral and ethical issues, so for me it was "eh, one more data point". My relatives fought for 25 years in court about their inheritance, and my Grandfather's will. My uncle's wife was accused by my mother and aunts of stealing family heirlooms that did not belong to her to resell them. They're that sort of people.

I hope you don't dwell on the negatives too much, OP. It's not good for your health.

Most "family heirlooms" have zero resale value. I have a beautiful walnut armoire from the 18th century. I want to get rid of if and I have no buyer whatsoever. Things have value to the family but really limited value to others.

Much more likely that caregivers steal things in my experience.