Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 11:04     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good chance your child will have an extra difficult time when the sandwich generation of life hits. They will likely have very young children at home when you are needing extra time and care.

We have friends of the family who wanted kids, but decided not to as they were already struggling to manage work, home upkeep and their elderly parents who had them late in life. They had very little time for a social life and often had to cancel plans to aid parents with medical issues.


Agree with all this but assume you have $$ for tons of care and you do not have elderly parents to worry about or home care or job stress. Again, this is a couple with a great deal of wealth across multiple generations and they will not be rushing to help their parents with care (on the wife’s side, one is passed and one is very healthy but also has tons of money for the best end of life care)



If the response was from the OP, then please stop thinking about this in terms of you and your wants and wishes. Please start thinking of this in how it may impact your potential child. Not just when they are an infant, but as they become an adult as well.


Perhaps reading comp is not your strong suit. It’s not me. I’m asking about people I know who are planning this
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 10:44     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

Only someone who hadn't had kids would think this was a remotely good idea.

You're too old. Get over it. Having a baby at that age is pure narcissism.


Agree. It's pure narcissism. Donate the $100K you would use to buy an egg, sperm, and uterus to medical research.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 10:43     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
How long have you been married?
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 10:41     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Wishing you all the best!
A much wanted child with older parents and lots of financial resources is better off than the majority of children born.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 10:35     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:Why not adopt? y friend was adopted at 2.5 yo by her single, then 54 yo mother. She had an excellent upbringing and, of course, is grateful she was spared growing up in an orphans home/ foster homes.


This is a multi layered issue.

There aren't a lot of infants or even toddlers in need of adoption. You aren't just hopping on down to the adoption store to pick out a baby. If op wants to raise a child from infancy or even toddlerhood, it could be faster and less heartbreaking to pay a surrogate.

There are many older kids in foster care in need of adoption. But adopting an older child takes a lot more mental and emotional preparation than having a baby. The majority of older foster kids are dealing with trauma and to put it bluntly, they have behavioral issues because of it. Wanting to be a parent and wanting to adopt an older foster child are two different things entirely.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 10:31     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Good chance your child will have an extra difficult time when the sandwich generation of life hits. They will likely have very young children at home when you are needing extra time and care.

We have friends of the family who wanted kids, but decided not to as they were already struggling to manage work, home upkeep and their elderly parents who had them late in life. They had very little time for a social life and often had to cancel plans to aid parents with medical issues.


Agree with all this but assume you have $$ for tons of care and you do not have elderly parents to worry about or home care or job stress. Again, this is a couple with a great deal of wealth across multiple generations and they will not be rushing to help their parents with care (on the wife’s side, one is passed and one is very healthy but also has tons of money for the best end of life care)



If the response was from the OP, then please stop thinking about this in terms of you and your wants and wishes. Please start thinking of this in how it may impact your potential child. Not just when they are an infant, but as they become an adult as well.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 10:28     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't because of my energy level at 50. The support staff would be the primary care giver.


Yes, that would likely happen. Not definitely but it is a risk
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 10:24     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
I wouldn't because of my energy level at 50. The support staff would be the primary care giver.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 10:23     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:Good chance your child will have an extra difficult time when the sandwich generation of life hits. They will likely have very young children at home when you are needing extra time and care.

We have friends of the family who wanted kids, but decided not to as they were already struggling to manage work, home upkeep and their elderly parents who had them late in life. They had very little time for a social life and often had to cancel plans to aid parents with medical issues.


Agree with all this but assume you have $$ for tons of care and you do not have elderly parents to worry about or home care or job stress. Again, this is a couple with a great deal of wealth across multiple generations and they will not be rushing to help their parents with care (on the wife’s side, one is passed and one is very healthy but also has tons of money for the best end of life care)
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 10:20     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

Only someone who hadn't had kids would think this was a remotely good idea.

You're too old. Get over it. Having a baby at that age is pure narcissism.


Agree. Adopt an older child. Think about how old you will be and the kid is 15.

Signed, mom at 40 and 45.


They do not want to adopt.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 09:52     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it a young 50 or an old 50?



Youngish 50


That young 50 will be humbled with quickness by an 18 month old toddler.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 09:50     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

Only someone who hadn't had kids would think this was a remotely good idea.

You're too old. Get over it. Having a baby at that age is pure narcissism.


Agree. Adopt an older child. Think about how old you will be and the kid is 15.

Signed, mom at 40 and 45.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 09:50     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Consider the fact that you have gone 50 years only responsible for yourself. I had my first at 36 and my loss of freedom was shocking. Add in loss of sleep, responsibility to keep a helpless infant alive, doctor's appts, change in marital relationship, meeting the demands of a growing human, etc. etc. You will be confused as being the grandparent. The kid will be embarassed of you as a teen (they all are), buy it will be worse because you'll be mid 60's when it happens, with a mid 60 yos aching joints, etc.
Think long and carefully about this. There are other paths to parenthood such as adopting older kids, fostering, fostering to adopt, etc.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 09:49     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Good chance your child will have an extra difficult time when the sandwich generation of life hits. They will likely have very young children at home when you are needing extra time and care.

We have friends of the family who wanted kids, but decided not to as they were already struggling to manage work, home upkeep and their elderly parents who had them late in life. They had very little time for a social life and often had to cancel plans to aid parents with medical issues.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2024 09:45     Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Having recently turned 50 and dealing with my body breaking down, I say no. I've been 100% healthy up to now, never overweight, never smoked, alcohol-free, always exercised, relatives all lived to 80s and 90s, etc. It's just a crapshoot and not one I'd be willing to take with my kid to have to deal with me being sick as they grow up. My kids are in college and very close to independence. The idea of another 20 years of child rearing is risky. By the way, I felt amazing at 43!! Not so much 7 years later.