Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Where does MIL live? Is it cold outside and she can’t afford to heat her house higher than 65? I can’t quite follow. Most older people have real circulation issues and insist on the house being in the 80s, so you may be a lucky one there. You can always put more layers on.

PNW. MIL is actually very wealthy, hence financial planning stress. It's a weird thing about DH's family. They keep house at 60 and wear jackets inside. It's a favor that house is set at 65, but I'm still freezing. DD is wearing gloves!

Omg, you’re nicer than I am…I literally couldn’t stay there ever again. Cannot stand being cold.

When my parents lived in their house, they always kept it freezing. We wore layers of sweaters. Then they moved into a senior building where heating was included - the thermostat now set at a balmy 80. Whenever we go, my husband and kids pack shorts and tshirts for every day wear. This is in the upper midwest, by the way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Where does MIL live? Is it cold outside and she can’t afford to heat her house higher than 65? I can’t quite follow. Most older people have real circulation issues and insist on the house being in the 80s, so you may be a lucky one there. You can always put more layers on.

PNW. MIL is actually very wealthy, hence financial planning stress. It's a weird thing about DH's family. They keep house at 60 and wear jackets inside. It's a favor that house is set at 65, but I'm still freezing. DD is wearing gloves!

I bought a space heater for my MIL’s house. We sleep downstairs and it’s colder down there than upstairs. The space heater mostly solves the problem.

If not that, then hotel.

Anonymous wrote:My new in-laws made us all change out of our shoes into those little blue paper booties that workmen wear. Never was that way before; I figured MIL is newly turned super neat freak. But no. Turns out her three rescue dogs poop all over the house. Everyone ignores the brown stains that dot her beige carpets.

Wow! 🤯

Anonymous wrote:I would not put up with that. If I’m not comfortable. I’m staying in a hotel.

This. It's only Monday. I understand it's MIL's house, but I would insist on either bringing up the heat while we're cisiting or else staying in a nearby hotel. I refuse to wear gloves inside for days because my host is cheap!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not put up with that. If I’m not comfortable. I’m staying in a hotel.

Of course MIL also lives relatively far from nearest hotel etc. DS is now wearing a hat and puffer jacket...

This is why I have no shame about day drinking here

Since it’s not a money issue, just go turn the thermostat up to 70. Have one of your kids distract everyone if necessary.

Anonymous wrote:I would not put up with that. If I’m not comfortable. I’m staying in a hotel.

This.
We stay at hotels - the end.

MIL 2
Has every single inch of the their home decorated .. and full of furniture.
Oversized not to scale it’s a mess

We can barely use guest bathroom as it has all this 80’s- Dynasty era hanging bows and fabric.

Anonymous wrote:My new in-laws made us all change out of our shoes into those little blue paper booties that workmen wear. Never was that way before; I figured MIL is newly turned super neat freak. But no. Turns out her three rescue dogs poop all over the house. Everyone ignores the brown stains that dot her beige carpets.

Omg that is vile!!

Anonymous wrote:I would not put up with that. If I’m not comfortable. I’m staying in a hotel.

Of course MIL also lives relatively far from nearest hotel etc. DS is now wearing a hat and puffer jacket...

This is why I have no shame about day drinking here

My new in-laws made us all change out of our shoes into those little blue paper booties that workmen wear. Never was that way before; I figured MIL is newly turned super neat freak. But no. Turns out her three rescue dogs poop all over the house. Everyone ignores the brown stains that dot her beige carpets.

Anonymous wrote:You know the kind of people who spend a lot of money on renovations but make the absolute worst choices that end up making the house a more ugly and less functional place to live? That's my in-laws. Over the past few years, they have:

**Redone the entire den, but left the asbestos ceiling that has a hole and flakes of asbestos falling out of it because rehabbing the asbestos "would have meant we couldn't afford to renovate the den."

**Redid the outdoor patio with slippery indoor tiles that are a super hazard whenever it rains because "they look better. you won't believe how much I had to push the tile salesmen to sell us the tiles, i had to tell him we were going to use them inside! what's it to him where we put the tiles after we buy them??"

**Re-did front and back steps to the house, but refuse to put in a hand-rail because "It would make it look ugly"

**Replaced the 100+ year old solid mahogany wood doors throughout the house with particleboard doors because MIL decided she wanted "white doors." She told us happily, "the renovators took all those old doors away for free!" New doors don't close properly, squeak, paint is already peeling, drafts and sounds carry, etc.

**Re-did the bathrooms. Refused to put in grab bars ("those are for old people!"). No tub, just a shower that already leaks, tiles cracked, the door swells with resultant humidity making it impossible to close.

**Put in a roof deck but didn't put in a staircase to the roof deck because they thought the wrought iron staircase maker their roof guy recommended was "a crook" because he wanted 5k for a custom staircase and they thought they could find a cheaper source. It's been 5 years and no, they have not found a cheaper staircase maker.

I know this thread is supposed to be fun, but as someone who very recently lost a loved one from mesothelioma: Run. And don't let your kids in the house. It is heartbreaking.

Please, please, please, people, please, keep this thread going. We have no drama. This is making my day!

You know the kind of people who spend a lot of money on renovations but make the absolute worst choices that end up making the house a more ugly and less functional place to live? That's my in-laws. Over the past few years, they have:

**Redone the entire den, but left the asbestos ceiling that has a hole and flakes of asbestos falling out of it because rehabbing the asbestos "would have meant we couldn't afford to renovate the den."

**Redid the outdoor patio with slippery indoor tiles that are a super hazard whenever it rains because "they look better. you won't believe how much I had to push the tile salesmen to sell us the tiles, i had to tell him we were going to use them inside! what's it to him where we put the tiles after we buy them??"

**Re-did front and back steps to the house, but refuse to put in a hand-rail because "It would make it look ugly"

**Replaced the 100+ year old solid mahogany wood doors throughout the house with particleboard doors because MIL decided she wanted "white doors." She told us happily, "the renovators took all those old doors away for free!" New doors don't close properly, squeak, paint is already peeling, drafts and sounds carry, etc.

**Re-did the bathrooms. Refused to put in grab bars ("those are for old people!"). No tub, just a shower that already leaks, tiles cracked, the door swells with resultant humidity making it impossible to close.

**Put in a roof deck but didn't put in a staircase to the roof deck because they thought the wrought iron staircase maker their roof guy recommended was "a crook" because he wanted 5k for a custom staircase and they thought they could find a cheaper source. It's been 5 years and no, they have not found a cheaper staircase maker.

My whole family celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday with my ILs in suburban MD. Their house was 74 and I was sweltering - kept going outside to cool off and put a cold can up to my head. I am menopausal, BTW.