We get it reffing is hard. That's why on the sidelines we like to help out especially with off sides calls. But here's the thing if you are a young teen trying to do a "job" to make money. You need to actually be doing a job. That means blowing your whistle and being assertive. Standing there barely moving and basically hiding away the entire game benefits no one. This happened several times to our team this year as low level travel. No we didn't berate the refs, but we knew from watching the game before no calls would be made all game. If your 13 year wants to make money they should pick something they are able to do.

Anonymous wrote:My 13yr kid refs. Every week we receive soooo many emails how many games do not have refs for multiple of reasons and how the assignors are desperately need someone to show up.

As parents you don't yell at Ref, teens or adults. Take it up to the coach, the club or their ref organizations AFTER The game. You don't berate them. There's no good scenario that a grown adult is entitled to scream at the kids who are trying to do their best.

Several of my friend's kids stopped reffing after one season because of the parents and coaches screaming at them during and even after the game. Adults need to do better.

this this this.

Anonymous wrote:Thirteen year old children should not be professional referees. It's just a really bad idea. Obviously these coaches should have behaved better, based on your description. But you are just asking for trouble to force the coaches to pretend like the child referee is a serious authority figure on the field who has the judgment and knowledge to call the game fairly and-more importantly-ensure the safety of all the other children playing the game.

This is a rec game. There is no reason you can't have young teens reffing rec ulittle soccer- except for parent abuse.

Anonymous wrote:My 13yr kid refs. Every week we receive soooo many emails how many games do not have refs for multiple of reasons and how the assignors are desperately need someone to show up.

As parents you don't yell at Ref, teens or adults. Take it up to the coach, the club or their ref organizations AFTER The game. You don't berate them. There's no good scenario that a grown adult is entitled to scream at the kids who are trying to do their best.

Several of my friend's kids stopped reffing after one season because of the parents and coaches screaming at them during and even after the game. Adults need to do better.

Adults need to do better, but people running these things also need to live with the harsh reality of how adults behave these days.

If a rec all-star tournament doesn't have refs because adults won't do it and the parents/coaches can't be trusted to treat teenagers with kindness, then I guess parents have to ref for that tournament. Too bad so sad.

My 13yr kid refs. Every week we receive soooo many emails how many games do not have refs for multiple of reasons and how the assignors are desperately need someone to show up.

As parents you don't yell at Ref, teens or adults. Take it up to the coach, the club or their ref organizations AFTER The game. You don't berate them. There's no good scenario that a grown adult is entitled to scream at the kids who are trying to do their best.

Several of my friend's kids stopped reffing after one season because of the parents and coaches screaming at them during and even after the game. Adults need to do better.

That is a nice story. Fast forward to Herndon Rec All-star tournament where a new game is supposed to start every 30 minutes and the halves are 12 minutes long. Referees have 5 minutes to get a drink, go to the bathroom, call captains, get game balls from the coaches, make sure everyone is in their right spots and ready, and blow his whistle for the next game to start. It's obvious that getting a drink of water and bathroom break is out of the question. so is talking to the players, parents, and coaches.

There was a ref who used to ref games over in Mclean. He had total control over the game the entire time, the players, the parents, and the coaches. Before every game he would do the same thing and gather the parents together, the coaches, and player in separate groups and talked to them.

He let them know he will make mistakes, and if anyone of them wants to apply to be a ref, he has the applications and see him after the game.

He would talk to the kids and they all respected him. He would tell them to just go have fun and enjoy it. He told my kid once during a PK-they were the goalie. He said you know what you are supposed to do here? They said yes, stop the ball, he said no, try your best, if it goes in life goes on and if anyone give you a hard time have them talk to me. You are going to be a successful person in life and this goal means nothing.

I sure miss him now that are playing days are over.

I ran an all-star tournament in a diamond sport this past summer. We considered allowing teen umpires for the lower age divisions because getting enough adults is tough. However then someone on the committee remembered that the lower age divisions are the absolute worst when it comes to abusing officials, and we stuck with the adults. Had to pay through the nose for it, but given I saw nastiness at that tournament I never see in regular games, it was worth it. The tournament directors should know parents/coaches at the younger ages simply can't be trusted. Is that the way it should be? No. Is it worth ruining the officiating experience for a teenager to ignore harsh realities? No.

All-star rec tournaments at lower age divisions are the first time for many parents (and some coaches) things feel like they "matter." People go insane. There's literally a mockumentary about it.

Rec soccer is the worst. Ref lower level travel instead

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thirteen year old children should not be professional referees. It's just a really bad idea. Obviously these coaches should have behaved better, based on your description. But you are just asking for trouble to force the coaches to pretend like the child referee is a serious authority figure on the field who has the judgment and knowledge to call the game fairly and-more importantly-ensure the safety of all the other children playing the game.

“Professional” is doing a LOT of heavy lifting there for a 10-year old rec soccer game.

That's the thing though. All these refs act like they are doing the sport a huge favor by just showing up no matter how incompetent they are. It's a job. They get paid for it. They have decided that they should be the most important person at a soccer game that maybe 20-30 families will experience. It's a huge responsibility.

The families pay to play the rec soccer and the orgs that run these leagues and tournaments make plenty of money. I have no idea what this tournament is that the OP was at. But instead of complaining on an anonymous soccer message board, the family should go to the organizers and say that they need to pay their kid more if they ever want the kid to ref again. Reffing is a tough job, and the real issue is that organizations that make a ton of money from children playing soccer try to shave a bit more profit out of these tournaments by also paying children cut-rate prices to ref them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thirteen year old children should not be professional referees. It's just a really bad idea. Obviously these coaches should have behaved better, based on your description. But you are just asking for trouble to force the coaches to pretend like the child referee is a serious authority figure on the field who has the judgment and knowledge to call the game fairly and-more importantly-ensure the safety of all the other children playing the game.

“Professional” is doing a LOT of heavy lifting there for a 10-year old rec soccer game.

+1
13yo might even have a couple of years reffing experience. Everyone needs refs, is there ever a weekend where they say "we have plenty of refs"? No.
Reffing is rough, you deal with tons of parents who have no clue what the rules are and coaches accusing you of going for one side when you could care less about who wins.

Why would you want to ref a tournament? Was the money worth it? and then to come here and blame the 'abusive parents'.

Listen, you said it yourself. You've been a ref and yadada ya dada - then you should know YOURSELF how these parents are.

The mini games at this tournament are meaningless and just to help with Sunday seeding, which makes poor behavior by coaches and parents even more bizarre.

Anonymous wrote:Thirteen year old children should not be professional referees. It's just a really bad idea. Obviously these coaches should have behaved better, based on your description. But you are just asking for trouble to force the coaches to pretend like the child referee is a serious authority figure on the field who has the judgment and knowledge to call the game fairly and-more importantly-ensure the safety of all the other children playing the game.

“Professional” is doing a LOT of heavy lifting there for a 10-year old rec soccer game.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thirteen year old children should not be professional referees. It's just a really bad idea. Obviously these coaches should have behaved better, based on your description. But you are just asking for trouble to force the coaches to pretend like the child referee is a serious authority figure on the field who has the judgment and knowledge to call the game fairly and-more importantly-ensure the safety of all the other children playing the game.

this maybe the child refs need a safesport portal to keep the coaches honest/at bay.

Call it the abusive game coach portal

Are you saying that referees should be able to report abusive coaches to safesport? Geez. Not bad in theory but Safesport would have to hire thousands to investigate all the incidents.

That’s fine. 3 reports from 3 refs, kid can no longer play rec soccer.