I'm so sorry OP.

Your parents are being extremely abusive to you and you do not have to take that. Period. Regardless of your weight.

If you can get some help w/ figuring out how to separate yourself from them it would be great. It took me years of therapy to deal w/ similar stuff in my life.

Congrats on using the meds to address your weight, if you wish to and it works for you. Good for you. (I'm on them and they have been life changing for me. And I'm prepared to be on some level of them for life if that's what it takes.)

I'm so sorry. Your parents abuse is completely undeserved. I wish you all the best.

Anonymous wrote:Spend WAY less time with these people.

This.
This is emotional abuse.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks so much for the advice everyone, I really appreciate it! 19:41, I think part of the issue in addition to how often it comes up is the way my parents go about the conversation. Instead of using them as an opportunity to discuss healthy recipes I can cook, maybe even doing them together as a family when I’m back home (as I’ve told them I struggle with this) they make comments about my weight and stomach that don’t really lead to any actionable items besides “just lose weight”. I do understand their concern, but I feel there are ways to go about it that are more helpful.

Are you South Asian? My South Asian parents are like this and we're not close anymore (I am almost 50).

Can you let them know that it's not okay to make comments about your (or anyone else's) body. Start making comments about theirs. Find something like the color of their teeth or another perceived flaw and just hurl insults at them about it. For example, "Dad when are you going to do something about that bald spot of yours. It's really not a good look." People think they can get away with body size comments by pretending they care about your health.

Thanks so much for the advice everyone, I really appreciate it! 19:41, I think part of the issue in addition to how often it comes up is the way my parents go about the conversation. Instead of using them as an opportunity to discuss healthy recipes I can cook, maybe even doing them together as a family when I’m back home (as I’ve told them I struggle with this) they make comments about my weight and stomach that don’t really lead to any actionable items besides “just lose weight”. I do understand their concern, but I feel there are ways to go about it that are more helpful.

It's awful for the parents to do but have you thought why they're doing it?

When are you going to realize that being overweight, hopefully not obese, is not good for you? Your parents however badly they're acting want the best for you. They want you to get that job without being passed over for the thinner candidates. They want you to have your choice of significant others. They want you to be healthy and not have problems related to weight later in life.
Just like that pp said, it gets harder to lose as you get older. They don't want you to piss away your 20s when you can be traveling and seeing the world with friends.

OP, I’m sorry your parents are so critical and cruel. You can’t control their awful choices, but when you aren’t financially dependent on them, you can lay your boundaries. Tell them you will end a conversation/visit every time they bring up your weight and follow through.

If they had a healthy relationship you’d be free to set more boundaries now, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. Bide your time and try to internalize that their attitude, not your weight, is the problem. Soon you will be free to make choices and you won’t have to hear their noise.

My friend had to wait until she was fully independent from them. She pointed out that she was not blind. That she owned a mirror, purchased her own clothes and put them on each day. There was zero need to ever mention her size, except to put her down and make her feel bad. She was done with that and would be leaving anytime her weight or food consumption was mentioned. Took packing up and leaving immediately during visits a dozen times or so, but their relationship improved.

Anonymous wrote:My mom stopped after I became an alcoholic and they were worried more about me dying than being thin.

I don't recommend it, but you can tell them the story.

#2yearssober

Congratulations on your sobriety.

Anonymous wrote:Work with your doctors to get of the medication if it's going to be unaffordable.

Get the best paying job you can when you graduate.

Avoid your toxic parents as much as you can.

All of this is great advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every time they mention it they put $100 bucks in your "Don't Mention It" can.

Solves both problems.

Huh? How exactly would OP force her parents into putting money into a jar? The best answer is the one where OP eats a chocolate bar in front of them every time they say something. That is brilliant.

The other solution is to cut them off. My guess is that OP is not in a position emotionally to do that. But the chocolate bar for every comment is very doable.

At this time she is completely financially dependent, she says so and she is 20.

You don't. You just plug around with a shitty relationship with your parents. I am not as close to my parents as my skinny sister is for this reason. She's better than me, they won't ever see it any other way. My worth is not in my weight.

Anonymous wrote:My mom stopped after I became an alcoholic and they were worried more about me dying than being thin.

I don't recommend it, but you can tell them the story.

#2yearssober

This did not stop my mom with my sister. She just switched tactics to bringing up how much weight she’d lose if she stopped drinking, how many calories she was drinking, etc.

Work with your doctors to get of the medication if it's going to be unaffordable.

Get the best paying job you can when you graduate.

Avoid your toxic parents as much as you can.

My mom stopped after I became an alcoholic and they were worried more about me dying than being thin.

I don't recommend it, but you can tell them the story.

#2yearssober