I grew up in a house with tons of yelling. Otherwise very happy family and we are all still close. Looking back I can see clearly my mother was extremely overstimulated and that’s when she would yell. Maybe because it wasn’t ever connected to anger, is why it didn’t have a traumatizing effect.

That said, it created a real atmosphere of chaos and it always felt like we were slightly off the rails. So, I’ve noticed neither me nor any of my 3 siblings has ended up a yeller with our kids. We all really things to be calm!

Anonymous wrote:Rarely, but when I do I feel very guilty. Growing up my dad could just give us a look and we would behave. I was one of five kids and my parents had a ton of patience.
My dad was a high school Principal. My mom worked as a psychologist. I marvel how they did it.

Love this.

I think it’s normal but we don’t. I’m not a yeller and dh might say one of their names loud out of frustration every once in awhile but that’s the extent of it. I just think it does way more harm than good and I’m glad dh and I are on the same
Page. If we are having trouble coping, we support each other and give each other breaks. Deep breaths actually help a lot.

Rarely, but when I do I feel very guilty. Growing up my dad could just give us a look and we would behave. I was one of five kids and my parents had a ton of patience.
My dad was a high school Principal. My mom worked as a psychologist. I marvel how they did it.

Yes got can

Anonymous wrote:Come back when your kids are teens and let us know if they have anxiety.

All of my friends were yelled at at least a few times each week growing up. We aren't anxious people.

Very rarely. You should not be yelling at your kids ever.

Anonymous wrote:I think this is not ok for a kid to be scared of parent flipping their kid if they forget to turn a light off. That’s not the kids fault- it is the parents not choosing adult behavior

But that’s just me

Newsflash: if parent flips their lid every time kid leaves the light on, and kid continues to leave the lights on, the kid is not scared of the parent.

What are you yelling and how many times did you repeat yourself first? Context matters.

Anonymous wrote:Come back when your kids are teens and let us know if they have anxiety.

This is pretty silly, PP. Yelling doesn't equate to bad parenting when partnered with unconditional love and guidance and boundaries. I mean, we could ask you to come back and tell us how resilient your kids are as teens and college students when people show negative emotion. Kids NEED to see people feel feelings and act less than perfect so that they can then walk back and apologize and resolve it and all of that human stuff.

It's very normal. Whether or not it's bad and how bad it is are different questions, but it's very normal. For my part, I can't remember the last time I yelled. I use a more "serious" voice, but I don't yell. I know good parents who do though.

Rarely unless it's a safety thing.

Never. I had parents who yelled to get their point across. And now those are the memories I have of them.

I think this is not ok for a kid to be scared of parent flipping their kid if they forget to turn a light off. That’s not the kids fault- it is the parents not choosing adult behavior

But that’s just me

I’m yelling from the other room all the time.