Accept what you have to work with, avoid lingering over mirrors and pictures, use clothes, hair and whatever else you want to look expensive. Rich still rates higher than beauty.

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this. I am 45. We went out to an event the other night and I hated everything about the pictures we took.

It isn’t you, it’s the way the iPhone lens compresses you. Look at all the people here saying they hate pictures of themselves. A lot of people who look good in real life aren’t photogenic! Don’t go by the pictures.

I have a lot of skin tags on my face- hate it.

I’m homely and always have been. I get it, OP. I always planned to stay fit and use well-tailored clothes to my advantage, but I was taken by surpass by my mid-40s. I have an autoimmune disease that seems to defy whatever fitness I have by bulking parts of my body in unfortunate ways (broad hulking back, ever-growing breasts) that photograph terribly. And fashion shifted a bit so the expensive tailored clothes I planned to wear at this age don’t exist for my body type and don’t suit my career or lifestyle now anyway.

I avoid formal events and posed photographs because they do me no favors. I stick to casual outdoor socializing that’s active and doesn’t incite tons of photos.

Anonymous wrote:In 20 years you’ll look back and realize you look pretty good now.

Exactly. Please never forget it's downhill all the way, usually, barring temporary medical setbacks (I've had those).

Happiness is hard work. Finding out what looks nice about ourselves is an exercise we all need to do.

I could have written this. I am 45. We went out to an event the other night and I hated everything about the pictures we took.

Anonymous wrote:OP if you are fit and wear nice clothes that is 90% of the battle. Spend some money on make up and skin and do your hair.

+1,000. We all age, and most of us think we looked "better" when we were younger. You are way ahead of the game if you are fit. Hair, makeup, and clothes are way easier to address.

Anonymous wrote:I seem to look fine in the mirror but I am a hellish ghoul in pictures. I can’t explain that except I wonder if it’s because the mirror is twice as far away — like if I’m looking at myself in a mirror 2 feet away, is that like being 4 feet away? Does that mean I look okay from 4 feet away?
I tried to take a picture today of me with my I voted sticker and just deleted all of them. It was too depressing to look at them.

I’m generally fine provided I don’t look at pictures of myself! Someone posted a thread complaining she was not in any pictures from a work event and I thought “that’s my ideal outcome.”

Oh same. I look good in like one out of every 50 photos taken of me but I look decent in the mirror. I really, really hate the era of the phone camera and social media. I hate being surprised with a photo of myself on social media. And inevitably people always want to take photos at events where I'm dressed down and haven't done my hair. That will be the photo my MIL wants to post to Facebook as opposed to the one from Thanksgiving dinner where I wore a flattering color and did my hair. So frustrating.

I will say that I've better learned the stuff that will make me look better in photos and try to do that stuff as often as I can. Whitening my teeth and really good oral hygiene is big. Wearing my hair down and blowing it out (and also wearing it about two inches shorter than I always want to think I should). Wearing clothes that fit well and present well (stuff that doesn't look easily wrinkled or attract lint really easily). Wearing a bit of lipstick.

I'm not a supermodel and I still look weird in a lot of photos but if I do those things I still look a million times better and don't have that "ick, I'm ugly" feeling that used to when I saw photos of myself.

Anonymous wrote:I realized today that I’m post prime and just ugly now. I hate my face. I hate taking pictures because I generally just dismayed with my face. I am fit and dress well. So there’s just nothing I can do.

Rant over.

Are you going into an early menopause, HRT would help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A smile goes a very long way to make any face pretty!

Please don't say this. Nobody should be told to smile.

Oh please. OP was bemoaning her looks. PP pointed out that a warm, friendly smile makes people look more attractive. It's true for men and women. Take or leave the suggestion, but it's not wrong.

People would judge your teeth, Americans are ruthless in that regard.

Anonymous wrote:This is hard for me to write, but my mom has been gone 8 years now. Her looks were rough, but she was remembered by all as an elegant woman. I think it’s how she made herself up very simply with little makeup and wore rational clothes beautifully (she did not have nice western clothes) . But she had thin hair that was frizzy, a big mole, dark circles that were actual hyperpigmentation, and not hood teeth (she smiled without showing them). I loved my mom more than anyone, and to me she was beautiful, I loved her soft and large tummy, how she smelled of soap, and how her tiny ponytail curled in a spiral like a pig’s tail. She had a beautiful voice and loved her grandchildren, and was the best cook ever.

She sounds lovely.

Anonymous wrote:This is hard for me to write, but my mom has been gone 8 years now. Her looks were rough, but she was remembered by all as an elegant woman. I think it’s how she made herself up very simply with little makeup and wore rational clothes beautifully (she did not have nice western clothes) . But she had thin hair that was frizzy, a big mole, dark circles that were actual hyperpigmentation, and not hood teeth (she smiled without showing them). I loved my mom more than anyone, and to me she was beautiful, I loved her soft and large tummy, how she smelled of soap, and how her tiny ponytail curled in a spiral like a pig’s tail. She had a beautiful voice and loved her grandchildren, and was the best cook ever.

I’ll bet your mother loved you more than anything in the world. She watches over you and your children, and could not be more proud.

I seem to look fine in the mirror but I am a hellish ghoul in pictures. I can’t explain that except I wonder if it’s because the mirror is twice as far away — like if I’m looking at myself in a mirror 2 feet away, is that like being 4 feet away? Does that mean I look okay from 4 feet away?
I tried to take a picture today of me with my I voted sticker and just deleted all of them. It was too depressing to look at them.

I’m generally fine provided I don’t look at pictures of myself! Someone posted a thread complaining she was not in any pictures from a work event and I thought “that’s my ideal outcome.”

Anonymous wrote:In 20 years you’ll look back and realize you look pretty good now.

Very true.

OP if you are fit and wear nice clothes that is 90% of the battle. Spend some money on make up and skin and do your hair.