Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^that said, my 47 year old exDH probably appears to be a catch with his “family man” exterior, good career, and fun hobbies. He is likely borderline with serious trauma and mental health issues that won’t emerge until later, so good luck to whoever takes a chance on him.

Same! I think about this all the time that some poor woman is going to think she hit the jackpot with my ex and get sucked in to the trauma and drama

Perhaps you were his trigger. Women who file for divorce don't have a rearview mirror. Maybe another woman will bring a different side of him. Every divorced woman thinks she is special.

Lol

As long as he doesn’t have another batch of kids to raise he’ll coast by ok, until you actually need to rely on him for something important

My good friend, a woman, got married for the first time at age 50. Her husband is a few years older, also never married and no kids. They are both attractive, highly educated with good jobs, lots of friends. They bought a beautiful house and have both partially retired and travel about five months of the year. They seem really happy and in love, with almost nothing to stress about.

Anonymous wrote:^^that said, my 47 year old exDH probably appears to be a catch with his “family man” exterior, good career, and fun hobbies. He is likely borderline with serious trauma and mental health issues that won’t emerge until later, so good luck to whoever takes a chance on him.

I believe it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^that said, my 47 year old exDH probably appears to be a catch with his “family man” exterior, good career, and fun hobbies. He is likely borderline with serious trauma and mental health issues that won’t emerge until later, so good luck to whoever takes a chance on him.

Same! I think about this all the time that some poor woman is going to think she hit the jackpot with my ex and get sucked in to the trauma and drama

Perhaps you were his trigger. Women who file for divorce don't have a rearview mirror. Maybe another woman will bring a different side of him. Every divorced woman thinks she is special.

I mean I guess if she's into lying, cheating, gaslighting manipulators withanger issues, enjoys holes being punched in her walls followed by threats of suicide that she has to de-escalate then more power to her.

After my divorce, when I started dating, I thought finding a guy without kids and who hadn't been married would be ideal. No baggage to deal with like I had. I found out those guys had just as much baggage as me, it just came in different forms. It was also really hard to try to be with someone who coudln't relate to having kids that have to come first. Guess this is also why those that haven't been married and have kids like to date people in their same situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^that said, my 47 year old exDH probably appears to be a catch with his “family man” exterior, good career, and fun hobbies. He is likely borderline with serious trauma and mental health issues that won’t emerge until later, so good luck to whoever takes a chance on him.

Same! I think about this all the time that some poor woman is going to think she hit the jackpot with my ex and get sucked in to the trauma and drama

Perhaps you were his trigger. Women who file for divorce don't have a rearview mirror. Maybe another woman will bring a different side of him. Every divorced woman thinks she is special.

In our society women are single and childless part a certain age because either they have been burned or the men they once had in their lives weren't willing to commit. This is helps a lot of walking red flags never married childress 40+ women escape a lot of scrutiny

As one can see from the posts so far men can't enjoy the same benefit of the doubt. Any man who is 40+ has never been married and does not have children will have a steep hill to climb because there supposedly must be something wrong with him. Like how dare him get to 40 and not help another woman enjoy motherhood or walk her down the aisle. OMG he is so selfish that single bastard!

Anonymous wrote:^^that said, my 47 year old exDH probably appears to be a catch with his “family man” exterior, good career, and fun hobbies. He is likely borderline with serious trauma and mental health issues that won’t emerge until later, so good luck to whoever takes a chance on him.

Same! I think about this all the time that some poor woman is going to think she hit the jackpot with my ex and get sucked in to the trauma and drama

^^that said, my 47 year old exDH probably appears to be a catch with his “family man” exterior, good career, and fun hobbies. He is likely borderline with serious trauma and mental health issues that won’t emerge until later, so good luck to whoever takes a chance on him.

I at first was interested in men like this, thinking it would be easier to integrate a single person into a situation with kids than to blend a family. But I’m struck by the fact that if you’re 48 or 49 and never been married it just can’t have been enough of a priority for you.

Anonymous wrote:I am 48 divorced and 2 kids. A never married 40+ man had a lot more to offer to a single woman than I do.

He doesn't have expenses related to kids(529, sports, insurance, clothes, you name it etc)
You will never have to be a step mom with him he can give you your own kids
He has more free time no 50% custody
He has no ex wife issue
He is probably still in good shape and health
Since he has never been married and subsequently dumped he still has mostly positive views of women
And on and on

Why wouldn't such a guy be the dream man to s y single woman?

Goodness, I could pick apart this one point by point...unless it's satire.

Anonymous wrote:And then when it happens they can’t handle it, not used to relationships, responsibility, can’t juggle multiple things and this is just the partner without even kids.

+1. Tried to give a 48 year old man who was amazing on paper the benefit of the doubt, but he definitely fulfilled the stereotype. Rigid, imature, avoidant, couldn’t multitask in life tasks.

Anonymous wrote:Are men over 40 never married no kids red flags?

Yes.

There are some rare exceptions but even then they’re due to priorities, values or life abilities.

Anonymous wrote:I am 48 divorced and 2 kids. A never married 40+ man had a lot more to offer to a single woman than I do.

He doesn't have expenses related to kids(529, sports, insurance, clothes, you name it etc)
You will never have to be a step mom with him he can give you your own kids
He has more free time no 50% custody
He has no ex wife issue
He is probably still in good shape and health
Since he has never been married and subsequently dumped he still has mostly positive views of women
And on and on

Why wouldn't such a guy be the dream man to s y single woman?

Because they're the bottom of the barrel. They're what's left after all the 20, 30, and early 40 something women have chosen their life partners

The only red flag is they are used to living by themselves and not sharing a space.