Sorry, OP.

Similar situation for my kid this year. It's crappy. all around. I just let him vent and asked if he wanted me to just listen or to help navigate. He went to bed in tears last night and just wanted me to listen. He feels like this was his last big chance to enjoy Halloween 'as a kid.'

This morning, he wanted some help navigating. He still feels like crap, but saved face by not blowing up at the other [rude] kids via text.

He's 13; I can't remember the last time I saw him cry from hurt feelings.

I hate this kind of situation.

My heart goes out to your kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I’ve just make my own plan for my 3 kids each year. We leave our neighborhood and go to my parents’ more festive and full of kids neighborhood. My kids don’t feel pressure to make their own plans because they know we already have plans if they don’t have one. So far they have preferred to stick together on Halloween.

This only works if you have more than one child. For those of us with just the one, your advice is not useful.

What happens when one of the kids wants to do Halloween with friends? Leave that one and take the other two to Grandma and Grandpa?

Anonymous wrote:I take it you're not friends with the moms on your street and that's why they excluded him?

This OP— it’s not the kids, it’s the jerk moms who are trying to live their kids’ lives for them. These same women will be appearing in their sons’ homecoming pictures in a few years—standing between their son and his date.

OP here
To the poster who said their child disinvited some kids. I'm pretty sure my child wasn't one of them. Doesn't sound like the same scenario.

So sorry OP, that stinks. I have to say as a parent of kids now in college, I am sooo happy to be done with all this Halloween drama. This too shall pass but it can be tough out there for many, many kids on Halloween (and more to come with Homecoming, Prom, beach week, etc..). Not an easy road for some kids. Folks have some compassion.

Anonymous wrote:This is why I’ve just make my own plan for my 3 kids each year. We leave our neighborhood and go to my parents’ more festive and full of kids neighborhood. My kids don’t feel pressure to make their own plans because they know we already have plans if they don’t have one. So far they have preferred to stick together on Halloween.

This only works if you have more than one child. For those of us with just the one, your advice is not useful.

It doesn’t sound like the DS has a social problem, just isolated incidents of kids with bad manners.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. My DS was the one who changed plans and dis-invited 2 kids. I think it was a timing issue and he had another group asking him to join. Those uninvited kids are just going to come anyway (they figured out their logistical issue and the parents just asked me for the meeting time).

Gauche. At the very least, you should have explained to DS that this is the height of rudeness and poor manners. You don't leave friends behind because a "better" option presented itself. Tacky and low class. Do better.

Anonymous wrote:I’d just show up at the class block party.
No one knows who’s invited or not.
We moved here last year and apparently texts max out at 35 so we never get stuff but just show up. Works fine. 9 and 11 yo. But these are group activities but even for TP and caution tape parties my kids find out late and go.

Most places don’t have a “class block party”

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. My DS was the one who changed plans and dis-invited 2 kids. I think it was a timing issue and he had another group asking him to join. Those uninvited kids are just going to come anyway (they figured out their logistical issue and the parents just asked me for the meeting time).

I’m calling you out for a pretty serious parenting fail here. This is exactly when you step in and talk to your kid about what it takes to be a good friend - and a considerate human being. Sounds like you just condoned this pretty rude behavior.

^can’t sit with us

I haven’t read through all the posts, but I am dealing with the same thing OP. It’s awful. So many tears and disappointment over here. I’m so tired of the “you can sit with us” attitude.

OP here

Yeah I have no intention of belaboring it and there's no way to fix anything. It is what it is. That said, the only person you can control is yourself, (at some point) we should take a look at our part and see if there's anything we would want to do different next time. Plus he will likely be walking to school with this crew next week so I don't want it to be an issue

I do think a lot of his friends have family plans for Halloween. We have an only child and he's always trick or treated with friends in the past so it hasn't been an issue.

This happened to my kid. It sucks. Kid now hangs out with a new crowd. Lots of social changes in MS.

I'm sorry, OP, that really hurts.