I would add Virginia Elite to the list of cliquey. Some age groups have had mean girl issues. Which is interesting bc they open up clinics and have so much available training for the public at large. But when it comes time for making teams it’s 100% cliquey. Even at the tryouts. Behind the scenes invites etc.

Two more non-mean girl additions are Libero and DMV.

Re rec and mean girl comments. My DD has played for two years and this is her third. She started in a Rec league and some decent rec leagues in NoVA are McLean youth (they have regular house league and select teams- requiring a tryout- for higher level players), NVVA Galaxy league runs year round rec programs and requires a placement tryout, Chantilly Youth Association also runs house league rec and select - tryout- rec leagues. Some Catholic parishes also have CYO rec volleyball.

My DD decided to move up to club level at U14 when she realized she wanted to play in high school. The rec leagues are fun and casual, but the level of play is a totally different. Even the select rec leagues are much slower, play at a different pace with different rules, etc. in rec, you’ll see frequent underhand serving and frequent examples when the ball just drops to the floor while the girls stare at each other giggling and refuse to hustle expecting the other to get it. Lol. This frustrated my kid so we knew it was time to move up.

To really improve and be competitive in volleyball you have to join a club or go to club clinics and tryouts. The rules are very different for game play, positions, rotations, serving, etc. You can’t play HS volleyball here beyond freshman level if you aren’t playing club. At some clubs if a ball drops bc girls don’t hustle the team does push ups or laps of the gym. The girls are intense and take it seriously.

Re mean girls, yes there certainly seem to be a lot of them at *certain* clubs. Certain clubs encourage that culture. One club mentioned in another thread is known for its mean-sorority-type culture. My DD avoids that club and those girls. They act that way in life too. Not just on the court.

My DD has ended up at a club that isn’t that way at all. Mean girl behavior isn’t tolerated and the director and coaches focus on grit and hustle and less on pinning girls against each other, who has the coolest shoes, etc.

it’s worthwhile to go to as many different club clinics as possible to get a sense of the culture. You will learn pretty quickly based on observing the girls wearing that club’s shirts there - how they interact with coaches, players, director, and others on the court.

We have found less mean girl attitude at the following clubs: the two top clubs Metro travel (both travel and regional teams) and Paramount - way too busy slaying it on the court and competing for national bids to engage in mean girl crap from our experience - players and coaches don’t play games and don’t have time for that. VAVA encourages a supportive culture. Metro Regional teams are not mean girl. Vienna Elite encourages a positive culture as well. No Panic is a step up from rec and is a positive environment. New club Legacy from what we can tell is about hustle and grit and less about mean girl attitude same for X factor. Also no mean girl attitude at BRYC from what we have seen.

Some teams where we have seen mean girl culture at: Mojo (prob the worst offender and is the club discussed in previous thread), St. James, VA Jrs, American (cliquey), Monument, Loudon Elite.

Again just our experience after 3 years knowing girls, coaches, who play both club and HS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t this differ generally between states or counties? We are in Virginia, and the clubs I’ve found all seem to do tryouts as a default, and it didn't seem as if there is a rec league at all, only travel? I’m comparing to the structure I’ve seen with soccer, baseball, and basketball - where there are different levels you can choose. Volleyball seems to be completely different in this area, or am I missing something?

In northern Virginia there are rec leagues for volleyball. You can play volleyball without playing club.

Look at McLean Youth Volleyball (girls play in the spring) and Vienna Youth Volleyball (girls play in the fall and spring). McLean registration for 2025 should start around February. I believe girls start at 4th grade. My DD has played for two years and really enjoys it. Good luck!

Coming to VB from another highly competitive sport and can comfortably say mean kids exist no matter what sport especially when you throw in competition. But honestly, my kid has remarked how much nicer VB kids are compared to her other sport.

Mine started in 6th grade with rec and then moved to a very low level club team in 7th. I think she’ll be good enough to make JV and eventually varsity at our large public HS, which is fine. She’s not going Div 1 and I would t want her at most of those schools anyway. She’s having fun with it and it gets her off her phone so that’s all I care about.

I dont know that I have enough experience to rate volleyball as a potential mean girl sport — it seems to me better than soccer, at least, which is truly cut throat around here. She seems like she makes new friends every year so I don’t think it can be too cliquey, but has had very mixed experiences at the clinics, I’d say.

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t this differ generally between states or counties? We are in Virginia, and the clubs I’ve found all seem to do tryouts as a default, and it didn't seem as if there is a rec league at all, only travel? I’m comparing to the structure I’ve seen with soccer, baseball, and basketball - where there are different levels you can choose. Volleyball seems to be completely different in this area, or am I missing something?

In northern Virginia there are rec leagues for volleyball. You can play volleyball without playing club.

Doesn’t this differ generally between states or counties? We are in Virginia, and the clubs I’ve found all seem to do tryouts as an default, and it didn't seem as if there is a rec league at all, only travel? I’m comparing to the structure I’ve seen with soccer, baseball, and basketball - where there are different levels you can choose. Volleyball seems to be completely different in this area, or am I missing something?

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 14 and spending the weekend trying out for open level teams, which are high level club teams. She started in rec in 5th grade. She tried out and made a lower level club in 7th grade. She doesn’t have to try out for these advanced club teams and could still play rec if we didn’t want to spend the time or money or if she didn’t want that level of competition. She is trying out for some lower level clubs too and is hoping she gets a position in a team. Yes, the competition everywhere is tough for club. She could go back to rec but doesnt want to.

You can start at any age, for fun. I’m thinking of starting myself as an adult. I never knew there were low key adult leagues around until she introduced me to the volleyball world.

What qualifies as a “lower club”? We’re new to this and my daughter tried out for a number of clubs this weekend. The other chains have so many posts with people trashing one club or another—can they really be that bad??

Nothing could be further than this. My DD played club for years and the girls are all wonderful and so supportive of each other. DD has been playing for several years so she has some close Vball friends so maybe that’s why you think it’s cliquey, but she is always making new friends. Seriously, they are the sweetest girls you’ll ever meet.
And back to the original question, she started playing rec at age 8 and club at age 10. You either start early or should be freakishly tall to be on a competitive team. But there are plenty of options for girls at lower teams or lower clubs. Go to a few fall clinics, be seen and tryout, you’ll find your place.