Anonymous
Post 10/23/2024 16:38     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:Don’t know, had one going for two yrs and nothing has helped. Even when I distance myself it all comes back next time we interact. It doesn’t help that the crush is mutual.


Yeah same the key is to distance yourself! No contact. Been there. It helped.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2024 16:33     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My crushes have been at low points in my marriage and signal to me that I need to refocus on my marriage.

Likewise, but I interpret them as a signal that my needs are not being met. No matter how much I focus on my marriage, DH won’t be kinder and more affectionate.



Open the marriage or leave him. Don't throw away your integrity for temporary satisfaction (at best; cheating might not be as hot as your head/crotch wants it to be)


"Open the marriage" and "don't throw away your integrity" are opposites. Open marriage is merely condoned cheating and lacks integrity, no matter how much open marriage advocates insist it's "ethical." The solution with integrity, if a marriage is irreparable after genuine attempts have been made to work things out, is divorce.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2024 13:54     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My crushes have been at low points in my marriage and signal to me that I need to refocus on my marriage.

Likewise, but I interpret them as a signal that my needs are not being met. No matter how much I focus on my marriage, DH won’t be kinder and more affectionate.



Open the marriage or leave him. Don't throw away your integrity for temporary satisfaction (at best; cheating might not be as hot as your head/crotch wants it to be)


Right, like either is so easy if possible to do.

I was not saying I am cheating, but I enjoy my crush, and I enjoy it more when I suspect it’s mutual.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2024 06:31     Subject: Re:How do I stop having a crush?
Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you think of him.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2024 06:27     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My crushes have been at low points in my marriage and signal to me that I need to refocus on my marriage.

Likewise, but I interpret them as a signal that my needs are not being met. No matter how much I focus on my marriage, DH won’t be kinder and more affectionate.



Open the marriage or leave him. Don't throw away your integrity for temporary satisfaction (at best; cheating might not be as hot as your head/crotch wants it to be)
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2024 01:42     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:My crushes have been at low points in my marriage and signal to me that I need to refocus on my marriage.

Likewise, but I interpret them as a signal that my needs are not being met. No matter how much I focus on my marriage, DH won’t be kinder and more affectionate.

Anonymous
Post 10/22/2024 23:27     Subject: Re:How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:Despite the patriarchal rules that are so ingrained in society, and were frankly instituted with the goal of controlling women, the fact is that monogamy is not really natural. Monogamy and having to forgo ever touching another person in your life is a purely social construct. After 10 or 20 years of marriage, someone might naturally have the desire to experience sex with someone other than their spouse before they die.


They are free to divorce any time.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2024 22:50     Subject: Re:How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:Despite the patriarchal rules that are so ingrained in society, and were frankly instituted with the goal of controlling women, the fact is that monogamy is not really natural. Monogamy and having to forgo ever touching another person in your life is a purely social construct. After 10 or 20 years of marriage, someone might naturally have the desire to experience sex with someone other than their spouse before they die.


Yes, I entirely agree with you. But most people are silly sheep, so you need to deal with the consequences of your choices, PP.

Anonymous
Post 10/22/2024 22:48     Subject: Re:How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:Despite the patriarchal rules that are so ingrained in society, and were frankly instituted with the goal of controlling women, the fact is that monogamy is not really natural. Monogamy and having to forgo ever touching another person in your life is a purely social construct. After 10 or 20 years of marriage, someone might naturally have the desire to experience sex with someone other than their spouse before they die.


Sure. And?

We have brains as well as genitals, and can actually make choices not to act on our every desire or impulse. Also: Choices to have committed relationships that go beyond, and deeper than, sex.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2024 22:42     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:Go ahead and have sex and attempt a relationship with him.

It is highly likely that you will be disappointed and that would naturally nip it.


Great recipe for blowing up OP's marriage for a stupid one night stand. Troll.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2024 22:25     Subject: Re:How do I stop having a crush?
Despite the patriarchal rules that are so ingrained in society, and were frankly instituted with the goal of controlling women, the fact is that monogamy is not really natural. Monogamy and having to forgo ever touching another person in your life is a purely social construct. After 10 or 20 years of marriage, someone might naturally have the desire to experience sex with someone other than their spouse before they die.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2024 22:15     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:Talk to your crush and find out they’re a real person with flaws like the rest of us. That should do it!


Lol. good luck with that
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2024 20:44     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Talk to your crush and find out they’re a real person with flaws like the rest of us. That should do it!
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2024 20:16     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Anonymous wrote:I’m married and I need to stop myself from having a crush on another man. How do I stop it?


Look up cost of divorce lawyer, alimony and child support.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2024 20:02     Subject: How do I stop having a crush?
Go ahead and have sex and attempt a relationship with him.

It is highly likely that you will be disappointed and that would naturally nip it.