OP here. Appreciate all of the responses. With the exception of the first two, we appreciate everyone replying with their actual first-hand experiences and thoughts vice just opinion and conjecture. We’re fairly data-driven folks, and all I have to truly go off of is my own (really great) experience at Catholic schools. But that of course was at a different time under different circumstances. I knew Diocese of Arlington faired on the more traditional/conservative side (that is the diocese I went to school in), but didn’t realize it was one of the most staunch in the country. It was interesting to learn that the Archdiocese of Washington seems to have a whisper of progressive-leaning parishes, which squares with growing up with LGBT friends who happily attended some of those schools.

As mentioned in the original post, we are leaning heavily towards Episcopal (most likely), Quaker, or Independent, but didn’t want our decision to not go Catholic be solely based on strong assumptions. The few open houses we’ve attended thus far of an Episcopal and Independent school don’t just align well from the perspective of our family dynamics, but also other values and issues we care about. Out of sheer curiosity at this point, we will likely still go on the one tour we had already scheduled with a PK-8 Diocese of Arlington school (scheduled well before we even thought about the glaring conflict); happy to report back here for other folks who might be curious as to our experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Arlington Diocese is famously one of the most conservative dioceses in the country.

This. I'm in Alexandria and didn't even consider it for my kids because we're not the traditional heterosexual married couple with kids. Grace Episcopal would likely be a better fit for your family.

+1. I’m also in Alexandria and have ruled out the Catholic schools here given how conservative they are. Grace Episcopal looks like a great small school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you really want your kid taught that you and your spouse are going to h3ll? That’s what they will teach. The bishop is in the news for calling gambling a sin!

At which schools do they teach this?

Every catholic school I went to.

Well, public schools used to paddle kids but they don’t do that anymore either. Times change.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you really want your kid taught that you and your spouse are going to h3ll? That’s what they will teach. The bishop is in the news for calling gambling a sin!

At which schools do they teach this?

Every catholic school I went to.

Anonymous wrote:I had a lesbian teacher when I went to Holy Trinity in Georgetown 25 years ago. (I also learned the dreidel game there from my Jewish preschool teacher, and after 9/11 we had a weeklong unit on Islam to make sure none of us turned about to be bigots, if that gives you a flavor of the place.) Back then it was very much God is loving your neighbor and helping poor people. I can't speak to the school today, but I doubt you or your kids would face hostility if it's anything like the school I remember. (That said, I was a straight kid of straight parents, and there were not any same sex parents in my class, so I can only speculate.)

Holy Trinity is run by Jesuits, which is about as different as one can get from the reactionary arch-conservatives over in the Arlington diocese. I also can't speak to speak to what exactly is happened at HT today, school or the church, but it was pretty leftist, even by Catholic standards, when I would (irregularly) attend mass back in the day. To this day, my parents are convinced (and horrified!) that I was "radicalized" by the Jesuits.

Anonymous wrote:The St. Bart’s community (MD) has had several same-sex parents over the years.

This was pre-admin change. Oy 1 left in the community. Strongly encourage you to look elsewhere. It has become much more conservative.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a parent at an ADW k-8 and for the most part don't know which parents are married, gay, straight or divorced.

I am at an ADW k-8 and surprised to hear that you don't know other parents well. It's really a small community. I know all the parents in my kids grade and not a single gay, single, or divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Arlington Diocese is famously one of the most conservative dioceses in the country.

This. I'm in Alexandria and didn't even consider it for my kids because we're not the traditional heterosexual married couple with kids. Grace Episcopal would likely be a better fit for your family.

PP again. I went to a Catholic university and was routinely told I was going to hell because I wasn't baptized Catholic, but that was a million years ago so glad to hear things have changed.

Anonymous wrote:The Arlington Diocese is famously one of the most conservative dioceses in the country.

This. I'm in Alexandria and didn't even consider it for my kids because we're not the traditional heterosexual married couple with kids. Grace Episcopal would likely be a better fit for your family.

This is from a parish school in Kansas City

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/5761765-Letter-from-the-Rev-Craig-J-Maxim-to-St-Ann

Double check the parent agreement. SSM is grounds for dismissal at some Catholic schools.

The Arlington Diocese is famously one of the most conservative dioceses in the country.

I'm a parent at an ADW k-8 and for the most part don't know which parents are married, gay, straight or divorced.

Holy Trinity in DC and perhaps others in DC would be ok. Arlington diocese would not. While it would be a non issue to many parents and teachers, the priests would probably not even allow it in some schools.

Anonymous wrote:I had a lesbian teacher when I went to Holy Trinity in Georgetown 25 years ago. (I also learned the dreidel game there from my Jewish preschool teacher, and after 9/11 we had a weeklong unit on Islam to make sure none of us turned about to be bigots, if that gives you a flavor of the place.) Back then it was very much God is loving your neighbor and helping poor people. I can't speak to the school today, but I doubt you or your kids would face hostility if it's anything like the school I remember. (That said, I was a straight kid of straight parents, and there were not any same sex parents in my class, so I can only speculate.)

Lost a sentence in there. I learned about her sexuality later but apparently people were generally aware of it, and she was very much a part of the school community who I believe brought her partner to some school functions.