I became the initiator. That way I could pick people I thought I’d like and just try to befriend them. If they are busy or uninterested I move on.

If they are busy and I really like them I just let them know I’m here to be friends if the pace of life changes at some point.

Most people love feeling wanted so give it to them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you have autism? I'm an adult and I make friends just fine wherever I go.

Wow, you have excellent social skills. 😬

Yeah, seriously.

I became more relaxed once I adopted this outlook on groups of people: a third are going to like me. A third are not going to like me. A third will have no opinion or reason to think of me. It has actually worked out this way. Explaining further and explaining why group dynamics are so difficult ~ each friend I have is going to like their own one-third. There can be no expectation that we fit best with the same people.

What I can control is to become more skilled at recognizing the personalities that mesh well with my own.

It's so hard!
I started my kids at a new school and I was tentatively making small talk with other moms. Meanwhile I saw a lady whose kids were also new and she's animatedly chatting every afternoon at pickup with a circle of women around her. I asked her "Did you know a lot of parents before you started? You sure seem like you already know everyone." And she laughed and said "No, I just make friends easily!" Sigh...
I finally got to the point where I felt like I was really connecting with another mom and that I might have a new friend. But it turns out she's just got rizz and makes everyone feel that way...we're still just acquaintances!
I finally, finally made a friend this year and our kids really love each other but she already told me they're moving this year. I kind of feel like it's been a waste.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you have autism? I'm an adult and I make friends just fine wherever I go.

Wow, you have excellent social skills. 😬

like on gap year, sometimes you meet someone & it clicks & you both know

sometimes people wanna use you - cause you have connections or your fam or your uni

get out there
talk to someone
go into your address book
call that person