Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 17:02     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.


I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.

Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?

Why was the door not locked though?


I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.


Probably the 16 year old started yelling. I would yell too if I was naked and a kid was there when I got out of the shower. It probably freaked him out enough he felt the need to lie to not get in trouble.

Of course he could have thought he heard her call him. No one will ever know except the kid.



That’s why she needs to be told to lock the door and he needs to be told to knock before opening a door and everyone agrees to move past this.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 17:00     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I teachmy kids you will accidentally see people naked when you are sharing houses, vacationing, etc.

Be polite gently look away don’t freak out and excuse yourself

Both the kids are acting like psychos and so are you.

I’ve been on countless vacations/shared houses/etc. and NEVER saw someone naked.


Well.. hon that’s odd.


NP - it’s actually not. Why would you see people naked on vacation besides your own spouse or your own young children?
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:58     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.


I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.

Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?

Why was the door not locked though?


I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.


Probably the 16 year old started yelling. I would yell too if I was naked and a kid was there when I got out of the shower. It probably freaked him out enough he felt the need to lie to not get in trouble.

Of course he could have thought he heard her call him. No one will ever know except the kid.

Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:57     Subject: DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
I have a 10 year old and I think this is very weird. That 9 year old is probably being abused.

She needs to always lock the door and not hang out with grandparents anymore.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:54     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.


I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.

Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?

Why was the door not locked though?


I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.

Probably, but I don't fault her. At 16, I would have been dramatically livid and upset too. I don't fault either kid's reaction but SIL accusing her niece is beyond messed up.


Depends on what happened before that. I’m guessing a big to-do was made with the girl demanding an apology or some type of consequence.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:54     Subject: DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are DH and BIL brothers, or are DH and SIL brother/sister?

This clearly is a he said/she said situation and it is unlikely whoever is in the wrong will admit it. So you have to decide how to move forward. I am guessing that there will be no more staying together at grandmother's house.

I hope someone else has a better answer.


Yes DH & BIL are brothers.

Yes if my kids go to Grandma’s alone it will be when cousins are not there. Which is really sad, but I guess it is what it is now.


Expect cousins to unexpectedly show up if you send your kids to grandmas alone.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:52     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I teachmy kids you will accidentally see people naked when you are sharing houses, vacationing, etc.

Be polite gently look away don’t freak out and excuse yourself

Both the kids are acting like psychos and so are you.

I’ve been on countless vacations/shared houses/etc. and NEVER saw someone naked.


Well.. hon that’s odd.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:48     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.


I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.

Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?

Why was the door not locked though?


I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.

Probably, but I don't fault her. At 16, I would have been dramatically livid and upset too. I don't fault either kid's reaction but SIL accusing her niece is beyond messed up.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:47     Subject: DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
I'd be a little bit worried about the 9 year old and what's going on with him.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:43     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.


I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.

Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?

Why was the door not locked though?

The bolded is what I assumed after reading the op. If he was a bit of a known over curious boy, SIL would likely be getting on his case and not being so accusatory of the 16yo cousin.

Both moms know the likelihood of their kids doing what the other child accused them of and both moms' reactions make me think this was a misunderstanding turned into accusations to save face.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:40     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.


I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.

Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?

Why was the door not locked though?


Instead of sitting the cousins down and getting to the bottom of it, everyone digs their heels in. I would be able to get the truth out of my kid in 2 minutes. Then I would act accordingly. I think what you described is the most likely scenario though.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:37     Subject: DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Sounds like the little boy gets shamed for things and isn’t able to just say he made a mistake. So he made up a lie.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:36     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.


I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.

Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?

Why was the door not locked though?


I wonder if OP made a big deal of it in the first place so that the cousin felt the need to defend himself and then pointed the finger back at her.
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:34     Subject: Re:DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone making such a huge deal out of this? Such an overreaction by the adults in this situation.


I don’t think accidentally seeing a cousin naked while sharing a house is a big deal, but the cousin claiming that OP’s DD purposefully exposed herself is a big accusation. Imagine if the genders were swapped and someone said a teen boy called his 9 y/o girl cousin in to see him naked. I think it’s good for the adults to take a time out and separate for a while so no other accusations (false or true) occur.

Obviously none of us know these people involved. It’s quite possible there is the true story in between he said/she said. Like maybe DD was singing in the shower and cousin thought she called him in there? Or maybe cousin accidentally walked in and got scared of getting in trouble so he made up the story but isn’t actually a perv?

Why was the door not locked though?
Anonymous
Post 10/14/2024 16:33     Subject: DD(16) is saying make cousin (9) walked in on her in shower
Does your daughter have siblings? Sounds like she’s not used to having other kids in her space and learning to lock the door for privacy. Lesson learned.