Definitely more laid back. But also not worried about speaking up about the things that are important to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure if laid back is the right term, but I definitely give less sh**s and am better at holding my boundaries.

This. Like deciding I never wanted to host thanksgiving again after getting a break for two years during COVID. I used to care to make the effort. But it was so nice not worrying about it, not having a houseful of demanding relatives, never pleasing anyone fully….now we go out and there’s not a single dirty pan to deal with.

Or appeasing far flung relatives. There’s no pleasing them. No amount of our vacation days or money will make them think we are doing enough. So now you get what you get and I answer no further inquiries.

I struggle with all of this immensely. I feel like if I don't do these things nobody will, and it bothers me for the sake of my kids. I find that a lot of my stress comes from this: my children, doing what is right for them. It is very often completely incompatible with my own peace of mind.

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 40s and I volunteer at a place where most of the other volunteers are women in their 60s and 70s. A few of them are so fun to be around, but most of them, though, are high strung control freaks who think there is ONE way to do even the most basic task. Example: I was lectured on the proper steps for breaking down a cardboard box the other day.

Maybe this forum attracts more laid back people. The opposite is out there!

It's funny. I am extremely anxious and not laid back at all but in a situation like that I am not intense with other people, just myself. My high standards are purely for me. I don't expect anything from other people. So at my volunteer job, I'd let people put the cat pillows and mats however they want, and once they are gone I might redo it.

I'm in my late 40s and I volunteer at a place where most of the other volunteers are women in their 60s and 70s. A few of them are so fun to be around, but most of them, though, are high strung control freaks who think there is ONE way to do even the most basic task. Example: I was lectured on the proper steps for breaking down a cardboard box the other day.

Maybe this forum attracts more laid back people. The opposite is out there!

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure if laid back is the right term, but I definitely give less sh**s and am better at holding my boundaries.

This. Like deciding I never wanted to host thanksgiving again after getting a break for two years during COVID. I used to care to make the effort. But it was so nice not worrying about it, not having a houseful of demanding relatives, never pleasing anyone fully….now we go out and there’s not a single dirty pan to deal with.

Or appeasing far flung relatives. There’s no pleasing them. No amount of our vacation days or money will make them think we are doing enough. So now you get what you get and I answer no further inquiries.

im laid back
but i also dont hesitate telling some idiot off either

I wish I could answer that I am more laid-back now that I am in my fifties - but am not.

I find myself even more stubborn at this age. 👵🏼

Much more anxious than I used to be.

More laid back. I am more my own person now than when I popped fresh out of my parents' clutches. There was a "Our Way" of doing things or "The Wrong Way." Different = weird. I was way more judgmental.

Now, if what you do doesn't affect me, I care much less. I will still glare at any smoker as my lungs slowly close and you pollute my air. But the more I meet people I realize what a f***ed up household I came from and how it's OKAY for people to walk by your house and hear laughter, for example. Seriously the littlest things were a HUGE deal in our family - if the kitchen windows were open we had to creep around our house silently and speak in hushed tones lest any neighbor hear ANYTHING we might say (we had no interesting family secrets to discuss - it was more like "Please put granola bars on the grocery list").

So whereas I can hear neighbors laughing and think "Oh that's nice - they're happy!" my mother would say "Ugh, that's SO inappropriate. Don't they have any class?" Or when our neighbor hung out on hot summer days in her driveway in her bikini for a few hours my mother looked down on her and said she was tacky and flaunting her body. Maybe she WAS proud of her body, and maybe also, my very obese mom was a bit jealous, and not recognizing the neighbor was from a place where everyone hung out on the front stoop before she moved to the neighborhood.

I would say more laid back until having had to care for aging parents. The stress of that, combined with witnessing their unraveling at the end was pretty terrifying. It takes lots of money, but also people to manage it.

All to say that while I don't care so much about a lot of the things I cared about in the early days, it's like I have a whole new set of worries I didn't realize existed.

Laid back because I have nothing to do all day and nowhere to be. Money worries are also gone.

I am the least laid back I have ever been, I think because I have two teens and it's stressful every day.

Anonymous wrote:Less stressed, but (and?) more willing to write you off if you are a source of stress. Oh you have a sudden conflict with the thing we planned weeks ago? No problem, no anger, but I'm going without you instead of bending over backward to reschedule, and I probably won't invite you again. Life is too short.

Very similar to this. Much more laid back on some things and definitely don’t sweat the small stuff. But I also have zero patience for drama and one way friendships.

Way more laid back now. Also no longer care that the filter is not always on.