I would make her return it and set a much lower $ limit on what she can spend. Until she spends her own money she needs to be much more responsible.

You really need to have a conversation about what expectations for spending are. This has nothing to do with Sephora.

Your daughter is either really stupid, or really arrogrant. Or both. Or you have modelled extravagant spending and she thinks it's OK and normal for your family. Either way, you'd better reevaluate your parenting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand when parents give their children access to their credit or debit cards and then get upset when they use them unwisely.

Right. I mean 16-year-olds are impulsive. And dumb. This is on OP.

Yeah, OP. She needs her own account.

How much is she allowed to spend? I also don’t get the idea that she should just be able to “feel” that $100 at Sephora would apparently be fine but $400 is too much? That’s a pretty arbitrary standard, imo. She deserves some scaffolding here. If you’re going to be giving her spending money, you need to give her a budget and let her try to manage it. This is a life skill and it’s your job to install it. It sounds like you haven’t really tried anything yet.

Take your daughter to return every.single.thing. this is a lesson $400 is a ridiculous amount to spend. WTF? She should have known that this was unreasonable.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand when parents give their children access to their credit or debit cards and then get upset when they use them unwisely.

Right. I mean 16-year-olds are impulsive. And dumb. This is on OP.

Anonymous wrote:hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

dramatic much

It doesn't sound like OP had a discussion with her DD about what's allowed and how to spend money. So I'd start there.

I don’t understand when parents give their children access to their credit or debit cards and then get upset when they use them unwisely.

hell to the no
My kid would be:
She will return
All by herself
And she would take a Dave Ramsey course on the weekends

$400 is what I spend every 6 months on skin care as a 38 year old woman who works FT.

Your daughter is a spoiled sh** to think that she could just Apple pay for $400 at Sephora at 16 when she doesn't work.

Yes she returns it and you make her get a job because she does not understand the value of a dollar. You can have her focus on school as much as you want but you are really doing your daughter a disservice for her to not understand what work/hours/etc. it takes to buy that amount of what is considered non-essential products.

And if she did it just to impress her friends then you got a whole another level of issues

I can remember spending this much (the equivalent of this much in today's dollars) back when I was a teen. On makeup. At an ordinary drug store. (People's Drug at Westbard in Bethesda). I did it once and soon felt foolish. Really regretted it. I would not have admitted it was a mistake though. Would not have admitted that to parents or friends, though I felt that way. But it was my own money, salary from a teen job. So, it stung.

Have her return it.
I feel like the entitlement teens feel for this sort of luxury feeds into the sugar baby mentality.

She needs to return whatever she can. If she's going to use your card, give her a limit. At this point if she can't return anything she needs to find a way to repay you for a certain amount.

Anonymous wrote:100% return it. That's a LOT of money. One of my DD's friends (13) did this when my husband took the girls shopping--not $400 but something like $150 on Drunk Elephant products. The parents made her take it back.

If a teenager thinks she needs skin care products that badly, take them to a dermatologist and get a prescription.

ALSO, her Apple Pay should NOT be linked to your account. That's just asking for trouble. What if it was $400 or more on something unreturnable? Get her her own bank account that is linked to yours so you can transfer money as needed but she can't spend more than she has.