Dad of an 8 year old - I’ve enjoyed every step of the way and cherish the memories of every year. Do I want to return to colic and teething? No. There is a difference between appreciating something, cherishing something, missing something and wanting to relive something. Saying you miss something doesn’t mean you want to experience 100% of it again

Anonymous wrote:

I have teens about to leave for college and I would absolutely go back to where you are. 100%.

Same. But I loved the years they were young. 3DC, worked FT, DH traveled and I coached for all 3. It was crazy busy, and while I embraced it, it was hard some days.

I appreciated this saying from parents with older DC. It served as a reminder that this will all end someday. Take nothing for granted.

I agree with this. When you are living the day-to-day, it’s easy to let the slog take on greater weight. I always found the saying to be a gentle reminder to make sure to appreciate all the sweet stuff happening too but slog and sweetness live side-by-side.

Anonymous wrote:If you're stressed and exhausted you're doing it wrong. I will miss getting to make lunches in the morning; providing for people you love is a gift.

Sounds like you’re parenting under ideal circumstances. Nice for you. Also, I don’t know a single mom who likes packing lunch- everyone complain about this. This actually sounds kind of JD Vance creepy- stop complaining and serve your family!

Bottom line most of us are going to miss many aspects of having our kids home when they go. Different people have affinities for different ages. Life with kids up and out has pros and cons. Responding to stress about kids with “you’ll miss them” is just insensitive and presumptuous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are now in college and I do sometimes look back on the early years with rose colored glasses. But, do I want to go back? I’d like to go back for hour long increments just to remember how sweet and cute my kids were.

You also hear this because a lot of people, me included, one day wake up and our kids are gone and all of the sudden our identities as moms are gone,or at lease very much minimized, and it’s a weird adjustment.

Yes this makes sense to me. My only is 9, and has been incredibly difficult since birth. I adore him and when i look at old photos or videos i do miss those sweet baby cheeks and little kid voice. But I do not miss any of the day to day grind. I am so happy that he is becoming more independent. I like him more every day, even though i have always loved him, i do not miss parenting an extreme toddler.

I completely agree. I wish I could go back to their babyhood like 1 day a week. It's a special time, it feels crazy, then it's gone.

OP yes this is something people say. If you don't want more perspective, then get a thicker skin.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sayings like this drive me insane. Sure I will miss my kids when they are grown and leave I am sure. But I won’t miss the running around, the exhaustion, the 2 hours to put my toddler to bed every night and making lunches every morning.

My retired parents are living their best lives. They sure as hell don’t miss the days of non stop sports, being stressed about kids!

I have teens about to leave for college and I would absolutely go back to where you are. 100%.

Yes! my 29 yo just got married and I can't believe she will never be living in my house anymore, ever again! (yes, she moved back home twice, once after undergrad, and then after grad school). Other things I miss are her crawling into bed with me at night to watch a scary movie on TV, or playing "French Restaurant" , or giving eachother crazy hair styles...sigh.

Sometimes I feel sad and even cry about my kids getting older and then I remember...
The DIAPERS. The potty training. The constipation...I'm so glad I don't have to touch poop all the time anymore!
Plus the constant worry that they are going to hurt themselves. The gates on the stairs, the locks on the cabinets, the hypervigilance, the cutting food into tiny pieces to prevent choking.
Now I want them to stay where they are now!!

Of course you will miss it. Even the stressful parts. But that is the cycle of parenthood.

How do you want to miss things later?
You can miss it without wanting to relive it.

Anonymous wrote:My kids are now in college and I do sometimes look back on the early years with rose colored glasses. But, do I want to go back? I’d like to go back for hour long increments just to remember how sweet and cute my kids were.

You also hear this because a lot of people, me included, one day wake up and our kids are gone and all of the sudden our identities as moms are gone,or at lease very much minimized, and it’s a weird adjustment.

Yes this makes sense to me. My only is 9, and has been incredibly difficult since birth. I adore him and when i look at old photos or videos i do miss those sweet baby cheeks and little kid voice. But I do not miss any of the day to day grind. I am so happy that he is becoming more independent. I like him more every day, even though i have always loved him, i do not miss parenting an extreme toddler.

I have teens about to leave for college and I would absolutely go back to where you are. 100%.

Same. But I loved the years they were young. 3DC, worked FT, DH traveled and I coached for all 3. It was crazy busy, and while I embraced it, it was hard some days.

I appreciated this saying from parents with older DC. It served as a reminder that this will all end someday. Take nothing for granted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're stressed and exhausted you're doing it wrong. I will miss getting to make lunches in the morning; providing for people you love is a gift.

🙄🙄🙄🙄

Ignore this poster

Yes, ignore the poster suggesting you reframe your view on your life to see it more positively. Just listen to the miserable posters who reinforce all the reasons for your unhappiness.

Sounds healthy.

Toxic positivity to the rescue! /s

Go ahead and keep bathing in all the negativity of the life you chose, the life that years ago you wanted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're stressed and exhausted you're doing it wrong. I will miss getting to make lunches in the morning; providing for people you love is a gift.

Oh go away. Not everyone enjoys the slog. And it's okay to say so.

Of course it’s okay to say so. And it is a slog. But it also okay to say in retrospect that you miss it. Because that is very normal too. Both feelings are normal and allowed.

Lots I don’t miss like making lunches for 5 kids and laundry before they did their own. Empty nester now and love visiting them, vacationing with them and their spouses, grandkids, etc. it’s the best !

I would never say that to anyone, OP. I have two in college and one in HS and I remember how draining and exhausting it was to take care of them, cook for them, handle all school paperwork and communication … for them. Especially with lack of sleep when they were younger.

I do think you need to cut back on sports if that’s on your list of reasons for being exhausted. That’s a choice.

That said, I am feeling really old and sad about having no kids at home soon. It’s a much more meaningful role than my job or hobbies. And it keeps you young while making you old).

Anonymous wrote:If you're stressed and exhausted you're doing it wrong. I will miss getting to make lunches in the morning; providing for people you love is a gift.

No you won’t, that’s BS.

I will miss the having people I love around me. I’m not going to miss having to make sandwiches at 6am FFS.

I'm one month into being an empty nester. Do I feel nostalgic about having young kids--sure! Do I want to go back, no.