Q: what is the purpose of this thread?

A: let's pivot, it's not whatever backup/support the OP was looking for about the "naughty boy." OP actually needs help for herself, and in turn to provide to her daughter, to break the cycle of feeling *compelled* to be the world's hall monitor.

Bunch of Karen’s on this thread

Anonymous wrote:There is a boy on the bus who speaks the same native language as us. My DD says he jokes around a lot and calls the girls a lot of names in my native language. He knows my DD is not very fluent and called her friend monkey and so on initially which was just in jest. Yesterday my DD asked me what one word was and I was shocked. He called the girl a C word in my native language. Apparently he uses this and a few others that my DD mentioned on all these girls who don't know the language. He also calls an autistic kid an autistic monkey when she is not nearby. Do I do anything about this or let the kids deal? For now I asked my DD to tell him that the next time he uses those words I will have a talk with his mom.

I would complain to the School Principal and ask the bus driver to complain too. This sort of behavior happened ( cursing in English - middle schooler, actually 6th grader) in my DD’s bus in the first week of school. Apparently one kid ont he bus complained to school and he was not allowed back on the bus after the following week ( I am sssuming it took time because they may have spoken to child and parents ).

Also, in the past, we believe, the school bus driver complained to school about these middle schoolers ( last year) that were very loud and rowdy in the bus, running up and down. These students received strict warning and one to them was never seen back on the bus.

I would personally not ask my D to say anything to the other child. He will continue doing this until he gets a consequence.

This is not acceptable behavior on a school bus.

Anonymous wrote:Can the school hire a translator, who could work with an investigator, to discretely follow the boy onto the bus and listen to him, to solve this incidents?

Wtf

Anonymous wrote:Can the school hire a translator, who could work with an investigator, to discretely follow the boy onto the bus and listen to him, to solve this incidents?

Yeah, public schools are flush with money to hire translators who are midgets who can disguise themselves as children and eavesdrop on children's bus conversations.

Wait, what if the boy on the bus is actually an adult midget translator in disguise and he is purposely stirring up trouble as a quality control inspector???

Can the school hire a translator, who could work with an investigator, to discretely follow the boy onto the bus and listen to him, to solve this incidents?

Talk to the mom! We're French and if that happened in French, I would pick up the phone instantly. Just because it's in another language does NOT make it OK!

I mean around here, whether it's Spanish, French, Urdu, Wolof or Tagalog doesn't matter, the likelihood more than one kid speaks it is high. Agree to tell the school that a kid is not abiding by the using respectful language on the bus rules.

Anonymous wrote:Contact the school. The parents probably don’t care. Most kids who are a-holes have parents who are the same or are completely ineffective parents at best.

+ a million

Anonymous wrote:If the rude words are not in our official language, English, then who cares?

If it's Spanish or French, I hate to break it to OP but a lot of the kids probably know more than they are letting on. For some reason I feel like this scenario happening in Tagalog. In my middle school there was a weird Filipino boy who insulted teachers in Tagalog.

I would tell the school. They’re technically responsible for all the kids until they get off the school bus, so they should treat it the same as if he said it in class.

And I would do it now, not threaten to do it later.

Contact the school. The parents probably don’t care. Most kids who are a-holes have parents who are the same or are completely ineffective parents at best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a boy on the bus who speaks the same native language as us. My DD says he jokes around a lot and calls the girls a lot of names in my native language. He knows my DD is not very fluent and called her friend monkey and so on initially which was just in jest. Yesterday my DD asked me what one word was and I was shocked. He called the girl a C word in my native language. Apparently he uses this and a few others that my DD mentioned on all these girls who don't know the language. He also calls an autistic kid an autistic monkey when she is not nearby. Do I do anything about this or let the kids deal? For now I asked my DD to tell him that the next time he uses those words I will have a talk with his mom.

I would just be thrilled this isn’t my problem and tell my kid to steer clear of this kid and act like she didn’t hear/understand anything. I don’t see how you intervening would help you or your DD. He might just be a kid testing boundaries or he might grow into an awful adult, either way it shouldn’t affect you.

Doing nothing could be worse in the long run. I'm not saying the daughter needs to be the crusader here; but everyone just ignoring this boy's behavior and "ostracizing" him socially - as another commenter suggests - could fuel a budding ember. I'm not asserting that this kid will be the next mass school shooter; but don't take these things for granted. Our mass shooters have being bullied or lonely or social awkwardness in common. We shouldn't be letting unacceptable behaviors slide. Call his behavior out and know you've done the right thing, especially if he ends up causing real trouble down the road.

If the rude words are not in our official language, English, then who cares?

Anonymous wrote:Do you know his Mom? If you do then I would say something.
If not I would email the info to the VP or Principal and let them talk to him.

+1
Tell mom, don't wait. You'll know if you need to proceed or escalate to principal based on the mom's reaction. You'd be doing him more of a favor than the kids he's taunting. This isn't behavior that will serve him well so he needs to know to cut it out.