She graduated from med school 20 years ago and now wants the money? I assume that she has had a good career on her own dime. She’s crazy. Just follow the terms of the written will.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Was trying to keep post short. Here are the deets.

Mom died 10 years ago. Apparently verbal agreement was with her.
Dad just died. Nether was young.
Sisters rs are all in their 50s.
Parents paid for all our college. Not law school for the sister who went. Not grad school for sister who just went (but dad had little money by then so would never have asked)
Other two sisters had big weddings.
Medical school sister went about 20 years ago and did not have a wedding.


Legality of funds distribution aside not sure I feel like giving her the money from my share. But don’t want to ruin our relationship. Hope some of these details help.

No, you don't put the legality aside. Even if her request were reasonable, you follow the law. If the law or the will says split it in 3, then that's what you have to do. She's clearly not worried about ruining the relationship with her strange request.

You can't just not follow the will or the intestacy law. The money belongs to whoever is named after the estate and debts are settled.

Forget about where the money came from. Once probate is over your share is your cash. Essentially, your sister is asking you "Hey, can you give me tens of thousands of dollars of your personal money because I went to medical school 20 years ago and didn't have a nice wedding?" Would you agree to that because you were worried about the relationship? Would you give her a portion of your savings or 401K or take out a home equity loan to give her the money. That's basically what she's asking.

Dos medical school sister still have loans?

Mom had 10 years to pay and she didn’t. Nope. I wouldn’t change the will. That’s absurd. Is your sister a practicing doctor and financially stable?

Parents had years to give money to sister and did not...

Anonymous wrote:If there are three sisters, divide the estate by four and give the extra share to your sister for medical school. If she doesn’t see that as fair she is very greedy.

Good compromise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Was trying to keep post short. Here are the deets.

Mom died 10 years ago. Apparently verbal agreement was with her.
Dad just died. Nether was young.
Sisters rs are all in their 50s.
Parents paid for all our college. Not law school for the sister who went. Not grad school for sister who just went (but dad had little money by then so would never have asked)
Other two sisters had big weddings.
Medical school sister went about 20 years ago and did not have a wedding.


Legality of funds distribution aside not sure I feel like giving her the money from my share. But don’t want to ruin our relationship. Hope some of these details help.

She went to med school twenty years ago and now wants the money for it? Sorry, no. That doesn’t make sense. Dad just died, split the money evenly as presumably stated in the will.

I was thinking she wanetd to go to med school. She's a doctor making good money... NO.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Was trying to keep post short. Here are the deets.

Mom died 10 years ago. Apparently verbal agreement was with her.
Dad just died. Nether was young.
Sisters rs are all in their 50s.
Parents paid for all our college. Not law school for the sister who went. Not grad school for sister who just went (but dad had little money by then so would never have asked)
Other two sisters had big weddings.
Medical school sister went about 20 years ago and did not have a wedding.


Legality of funds distribution aside not sure I feel like giving her the money from my share. But don’t want to ruin our relationship. Hope some of these details help.

She went to med school twenty years ago and now wants the money for it? Sorry, no. That doesn’t make sense. Dad just died, split the money evenly as presumably stated in the will.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Was trying to keep post short. Here are the deets.

Mom died 10 years ago. Apparently verbal agreement was with her.
Dad just died. Nether was young.
Sisters rs are all in their 50s.
Parents paid for all our college. Not law school for the sister who went. Not grad school for sister who just went (but dad had little money by then so would never have asked)
Other two sisters had big weddings.
Medical school sister went about 20 years ago and did not have a wedding.


Legality of funds distribution aside not sure I feel like giving her the money from my share. But don’t want to ruin our relationship. Hope some of these details help.

No, if she were 22 I would help, 50 no.

Op here. Was trying to keep post short. Here are the deets.

Mom died 10 years ago. Apparently verbal agreement was with her.
Dad just died. Nether was young.
Sisters rs are all in their 50s.
Parents paid for all our college. Not law school for the sister who went. Not grad school for sister who just went (but dad had little money by then so would never have asked)
Other two sisters had big weddings.
Medical school sister went about 20 years ago and did not have a wedding.


Legality of funds distribution aside not sure I feel like giving her the money from my share. But don’t want to ruin our relationship. Hope some of these details help.

Anonymous wrote:If we’re talking about a trust where the siblings are beneficiaries, which isn’t really an “estate,” it’s going to depend on the terms of the trust and the trustee.

We have a trust like that in my family and there’s no obligation that it be evenly distributed, and education is definitely an allowable reason for a distribution. If another beneficiary opposed it I don’t think there would be anything they could do really. But it’s not an “estate” any more, even though the trust originally came from an estate. If that makes any sense. It is its own thing now.

Yes, op needs to provide a bit more of an explanation as to what she means when she says “estate”, if she’s referencing a trust or an undistributed estate or something else.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you can even do this? Wouldn’t you have to distribute the estate per the will/law and then if you elected to, the other siblings could help pay for medical school?

There might be some way to disclaim part of their share to the sibling to help pay for med school, but I am not sure.

Look, if the parents paid for grad school for the other siblings, I'd consider working this out so that a portion of the estate goes to pay for med school and then the rest is divided by three.

OP, we need to know things like did the parents pay for your and other sibling's grad school? Weddings that the younger sibling hasn't had yet? Down payment to you guys but not younger sibling because she is too young?

Legally, it's up to what the will says. But morally, you might want to try to have the estate somehow give the younger sibling med school tuition if the other siblings got grad school, weddings, or down payments etc funded and the younger sibling did not due to age.

Legal is what decides. Whatever is written in the will. Written. Verbal means nothing.

Settle the estate, as legally written. Do not consider something different. Legal is legal.

After, if someone is so moved that they want to gift money to someone else, that's their decision.

If we’re talking about a trust where the siblings are beneficiaries, which isn’t really an “estate,” it’s going to depend on the terms of the trust and the trustee.

We have a trust like that in my family and there’s no obligation that it be evenly distributed, and education is definitely an allowable reason for a distribution. If another beneficiary opposed it I don’t think there would be anything they could do really. But it’s not an “estate” any more, even though the trust originally came from an estate. If that makes any sense. It is its own thing now.

I don’t think you can even do this? Wouldn’t you have to distribute the estate per the will/law and then if you elected to, the other siblings could help pay for medical school?