My whole family thinks i don't work, even though I'm the founder and ceo of an international business AND me/ my business are sometimes in the need AND my family sees that.

It used to bother me but now i don't care. I don't respond to their calls or texts from 9-5 even when I'm just chilling

I wouldn't tolerate that for a single second, and would have lectured her a long time ago.

Who cares? You do what works for you and your family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Guess which kid is going to look after your mother when she needs help?




Not you.

OP here. I'm not sure why you would draw this conclusion. Actually, my sister and I both take care of our mother. She is now terminally ill with cancer. However, her attitude toward our work situation has been the same for the past 15 years.

It sounds like your time with your mom is running out and you are feeling resentful that she will never give you the respect you deserve. That makes sense. I'm sorry, OP. Any rational person can see that you are successful. Whatever is going on with your mom is about her, not you.

I have a similar, but opposite dynamic with my mother. I left my amazing career because it was the only option that made sense for my special needs child, but she acts like she's embarrassed for me because I "don't work". Meanwhile she neglected us so badly as kids that both my siblings attempted suicide while we were growing up. I know she's projecting something there, but at this point I've given up trying to figure it out. She can think whatever she wants about me until she dies. I'm proud of me for being the mother we all needed but never had.

Who cares? Your income is nice, but some people consider jobs with benefits better. At the end of the day, it's your life and your choice what you do with work.

Don’t try to change the way your mom thinks about you. You know you are doing great. Who cares what she thinks?

Anonymous wrote:

I'm fine with this strategy and also in general, put up boundaries. Be firm. Be consistent.
I cannot understand adults who act like they have no control over a relationship with a parent. And yes, I have an extremely difficult parent.

Well, it's not easy or logical, is it? Having to pretend to fit into their pretend-world. Took me a long time to figure out that being normal and expecting normal just doesn't work.

Anonymous wrote:No doesn't work with such moms! You think I hadn't told her no? They live in their own imagined universe and if you're at home, it means you're available. I'm the PP who told mom that I now work in the office, got a new job etc. made it all up. Peace.

I'm fine with this strategy and also in general, put up boundaries. Be firm. Be consistent.
I cannot understand adults who act like they have no control over a relationship with a parent. And yes, I have an extremely difficult parent.

No doesn't work with such moms! You think I hadn't told her no? They live in their own imagined universe and if you're at home, it means you're available. I'm the PP who told mom that I now work in the office, got a new job etc. made it all up. Peace.

Anonymous wrote:PP. It's not about thinking what they think of us. People like this literally keep calling and giving you tasks, because in their opinion you're "sitting on your ass" and have nothing to do. So might as well run circles around them.

Then tell them no. This is only hard if you make it hard.

PP. It's not about thinking what they think of us. People like this literally keep calling and giving you tasks, because in their opinion you're "sitting on your ass" and have nothing to do. So might as well run circles around them.

I stopped caring about what my parents think of how I live my life along time ago.

It doesn't sound like a lack of respect for your credentials. It's a generational thing. I think she literally thinks you don't work because you're at home, and furthermore, because you have the discretion to make your own hours and accept projects, so your sister is "working all the time" on the employer's set schedule, while you are just staying at home, working whenever. This flexibility didn't exist in your mom's time, while your sister is working more like an old school man, which resonates with her.

Kind of in a similar position, OP, and I just finally told my mom that I now go to office. She literally was saying that I "sit on my ass" at home and kept calling, because she's bored. These people are not going to change. Btw, I have DCUM to thank for this "strategy".

You are a more filial daughter than I was.