Anonymous wrote:Agreed that 14 is way too young. What age would be acceptable?

I’d personally prefer college, but I’ve read some posts here say they’d prefer high school so they can supervise, support and coach their kids.

30+

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SUPERVISE AND COACH?! What exactly are you smoking?

Welcome to DCUM. There are plenty of parents here who have this attitude of "supervising and coaching" their kids through a bunch of adult things like alcohol and drug consumption, and casual sex. This place is crazy.

Op here. I already explained what I meant by that. And many posters totally understood it.

I’m not naive and I do know that my kids will not always do what I want them to do. If they did do everything I said, the likes of you would say that I am controlling and they are not regulating well enough.

You don't get maturity without experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's ideal that they lose their virginity in late high school - like senior year, maybe even the summer before college and then break up with the boyfriend - rather than go to college as a virgin. Better to have figured out some stuff in a more controlled environment in my opinion.

Or, they become overly emotionally involved with that boyfriend and try to keep the relationship going in college, often affecting their chance to fully enjoy the experience. I’ve seen it happen many times.

YUP! This is why I don't advise being permissive with intense high school romantic relationships, which lead to kids who hold themselves back from fully embracing the college experience because they're super attached to the boyfriend/girlfriend who they lost their virginity to in high school. It's too much.

19 I lost it to a hooker

Anonymous wrote:SUPERVISE AND COACH?! What exactly are you smoking?

Welcome to DCUM. There are plenty of parents here who have this attitude of "supervising and coaching" their kids through a bunch of adult things like alcohol and drug consumption, and casual sex. This place is crazy.

Anonymous wrote:That they are not doing crazy things if things don’t go well, and coach on how to deal with setbacks of an intimate relationship.

Isn't this a bit of a testament as to why they shouldn't be having sex too young though? Sex really complicates relationships. You can talk to your kids about this a lot without coaching them through the sexual relationship!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Legally, 18. Some may need to wait until they are more mature. One needs the confidence and support to advocate for themselves.

Um, no. Legally, age of consent is as low as 13 in 12 states.

I only mention this because of your use of the word "legally."

In Virginia it is 15. In Maryland it is 14. In Washington, D.C. it is 16.

Fairly certain that is with another person of same/similar age. So, in Virginia two 15 - 17 year olds can go at it...but not sure an 18+ can engage with a 15 year old.

It's called the Romeo and Juliet exemption:

Virginia's Romeo and Juliet law is a close-in-age exemption that allows minors between the ages of 15 and 17 to engage in sexual activity without breaking the law. The law is intended to protect teens who are having consensual sex and to prevent severe criminal penalties for those who are close in age.

Anonymous wrote:Legally, 18. Some may need to wait until they are more mature. One needs the confidence and support to advocate for themselves.

Um, no. Legally, age of consent is as low as 13 in 12 states.

I only mention this because of your use of the word "legally."

In Virginia it is 15. In Maryland it is 14. In Washington, D.C. it is 16.

In my perfect world, my kids would have a nice college boyfriend or girlfriend and that would be the time. Agree the most important thing is a long-term, committed, emotionally healthy relationship where both partners feel safe and respected. So whenever that is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agreed that 14 is way too young. What age would be acceptable?

I’d personally prefer college, but I’ve read some posts here say they’d prefer high school so they can supervise, support and coach their kids.

After marriage.

And only in the missionary position and prayer afterwards right?

Anonymous wrote:Agreed that 14 is way too young. What age would be acceptable?

I’d personally prefer college, but I’ve read some posts here say they’d prefer high school so they can supervise, support and coach their kids.

After marriage.

Most of you folks are in huge denial or are on drugs

I would feel like a total failure of a parent if happened before 16. Anything before 16 is just too young, regardless of the relationship.

After 16 and only in a secure, loving, respectful relationship….but preferably 17+ and in a long term relationship.

Legally, 18. Some may need to wait until they are more mature. One needs the confidence and support to advocate for themselves.