Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A $40K wedding is absurd. I wouldn't pay for that.
40k is not much these days and that’s cheaper than my parents was if you account for inflation.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It depends on your relationship with them and the traditions in your family, OP. Do you have any siblings who had weddings before you? Any cousins whose weddings were paid for by your aunts and uncles?
We have a pretty good relationship, I visit and call them all the time. I know for a fact their wedding was paid for by my grandparents (they told me a few years ago) and my cousins weddings were most definitely paid for by their parents because there’s no way they could afford them without crippling debt (6 figure weddings and they weren’t making a lot at the time). I don’t know, I don’t want to sound entitled but it seems weird my parents haven’t really helped with life costs while they had theirs paid for by the previous generation. I had student loans upon graduation and didn’t get any help paying for my first house. My parents were gifted significant amounts by their parents when they were my age. I’ve had to do it all alone.
Well they are from a very special generation. If they were always taking and gifted money but that source has dried up they may be focused on holding onto what they have.
Yep, exactly. They’re probably on a tight budget and trying to preserve their savings.
And you DO sound entitled, OP.
My parents were the same, OP. I don’t think OP sounds entitled. It is common for UMC to help their adult children financially, especially with a wedding. It’s frustrating to have parents who got help and don’t pay it forward too.
Anonymous wrote:A $40K wedding is absurd. I wouldn't pay for that.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It depends on your relationship with them and the traditions in your family, OP. Do you have any siblings who had weddings before you? Any cousins whose weddings were paid for by your aunts and uncles?
We have a pretty good relationship, I visit and call them all the time. I know for a fact their wedding was paid for by my grandparents (they told me a few years ago) and my cousins weddings were most definitely paid for by their parents because there’s no way they could afford them without crippling debt (6 figure weddings and they weren’t making a lot at the time). I don’t know, I don’t want to sound entitled but it seems weird my parents haven’t really helped with life costs while they had theirs paid for by the previous generation. I had student loans upon graduation and didn’t get any help paying for my first house. My parents were gifted significant amounts by their parents when they were my age. I’ve had to do it all alone.
Well they are from a very special generation. If they were always taking and gifted money but that source has dried up they may be focused on holding onto what they have.
Yep, exactly. They’re probably on a tight budget and trying to preserve their savings.
And you DO sound entitled, OP.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It depends on your relationship with them and the traditions in your family, OP. Do you have any siblings who had weddings before you? Any cousins whose weddings were paid for by your aunts and uncles?
We have a pretty good relationship, I visit and call them all the time. I know for a fact their wedding was paid for by my grandparents (they told me a few years ago) and my cousins weddings were most definitely paid for by their parents because there’s no way they could afford them without crippling debt (6 figure weddings and they weren’t making a lot at the time). I don’t know, I don’t want to sound entitled but it seems weird my parents haven’t really helped with life costs while they had theirs paid for by the previous generation. I had student loans upon graduation and didn’t get any help paying for my first house. My parents were gifted significant amounts by their parents when they were my age. I’ve had to do it all alone.
Well they are from a very special generation. If they were always taking and gifted money but that source has dried up they may be focused on holding onto what they have.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It depends on your relationship with them and the traditions in your family, OP. Do you have any siblings who had weddings before you? Any cousins whose weddings were paid for by your aunts and uncles?
We have a pretty good relationship, I visit and call them all the time. I know for a fact their wedding was paid for by my grandparents (they told me a few years ago) and my cousins weddings were most definitely paid for by their parents because there’s no way they could afford them without crippling debt (6 figure weddings and they weren’t making a lot at the time). I don’t know, I don’t want to sound entitled but it seems weird my parents haven’t really helped with life costs while they had theirs paid for by the previous generation. I had student loans upon graduation and didn’t get any help paying for my first house. My parents were gifted significant amounts by their parents when they were my age. I’ve had to do it all alone.
Anonymous wrote:My family is UMC depending on who you ask. We are planning the wedding and my parents haven’t said anything about helping to pay for it. I don’t want to ask since it would be awkward. We don’t exactly need it but it would definitely help. It’s probably going to be about 40k. My fiances family is probably going to give a couple thousand.
Should I just assume my parents won’t give us anything if they didn’t bring it up?
Anonymous wrote:Personally, I’d come right out and ask if they wanted to contribute any money towards the wedding/reception. But I was always close enough with my parents that I could do that. I would have been ok if they didn’t contribute or contributed less than they did.
Can you just tell them that you are working on the budget for your wedding and wanted to know if they were planning on contributing anything?
Since they are UMC, it is pretty common for parents to chip in.
Anonymous wrote:It depends on your relationship with them and the traditions in your family, OP. Do you have any siblings who had weddings before you? Any cousins whose weddings were paid for by your aunts and uncles?
Anonymous wrote:Personally, I’d come right out and ask if they wanted to contribute any money towards the wedding/reception. But I was always close enough with my parents that I could do that. I would have been ok if they didn’t contribute or contributed less than they did.
Can you just tell them that you are working on the budget for your wedding and wanted to know if they were planning on contributing anything?
Since they are UMC, it is pretty common for parents to chip in.