Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this happen to you often? Seems like an odd thing to ruminate about if its a one time thing.

A truck ran into my spouse while he was out for a bike ride, and he died. People don’t answer my emails or calls now. Teachers are ignoring my kids. It’s like we are evaporating. How do I deal with it? Why do people feel the need to say that’s odd? Is it odd to want to be answered?

I’m sorry for your loss.

There are two things going on simultaneously. First, the tragedy is causing people to pause before engaging with you. It feels odd to them to respond with “normally” and they may assume that you have more support than you do.

The second is that you don’t have enough support and you want these interactions in order to help you regain a sense a control over your life.

The reality is most people are well-meaning, but also flaky, self-absorbed, and ignorant.

But there are ones that get it. Find one or two and lean on them. Find a therapist as well. Focus your energies where it’s reciprocated.

Again, I’m so sorry for your loss.

OP,

If it’s not a pattern, then I would give them grace and assume that there is a good reason that they didn’t respond, and simply forward your original email with a short note that you’re following up.

But also, it seems like you should reach out to the head of school and let them know that you and your kids are really struggling. And ask for their support in making sure that the kids get support in school and teachers respond to you, and you would appreciate any suggestions of any other resources that the school could provide.

It’s too bad you have to ask, but please do it.

Anonymous wrote:You need to reflect on and reevaluate your own behavior because you’re being ignored as an intervention. Ignoring unwanted or unwelcome behavior is a tool many people use to manage problematic individuals they can’t avoid.

You would ignore a question or request from a newly-widowed mom about her kids as a "behavior correction" technique?

And you think the issue must be OP's personality?

Hmmm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to reflect on and reevaluate your own behavior because you’re being ignored as an intervention. Ignoring unwanted or unwelcome behavior is a tool many people use to manage problematic individuals they can’t avoid.

This. I am sure Op has some major personality issues and their children seem to as well.

You are a bad person.

Some a$$holes ignore as a power trip. You aren't worth their notice. They don't have "bandwidth" blah blah

You might be familiar with that tactic

Anonymous wrote:You need to reflect on and reevaluate your own behavior because you’re being ignored as an intervention. Ignoring unwanted or unwelcome behavior is a tool many people use to manage problematic individuals they can’t avoid.

This. I am sure Op has some major personality issues and their children seem to as well.

Anonymous wrote:I wish I knew. There is a mom I have to see frequently who does this to me a few times a year. I can’t wait until our kids aren’t on the same team and I can say bye biatch.

Why? She'll still be ignoring you. You are clearly of zero inportance to her. The fact that she's living in your head speaks volumes about yourself...

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. These are helpful. What about the teacher who won’t respond to my emails asking about my kids? Do you just forward to the head of school after 24 hours (or what amount of time?)?

Yes.

I let the situation dictate the amount of time needed before escalating. And Indo try and communicate a time frame to people I know won’t get back to me.

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like there have been multiple attempts with these teachers? I would imagine they’d be extra sensitive and concerned for your kids well-being after such a loss; their passivity is appalling.

I would email the principal after a few days and let them know you have had difficulty reaching the teacher. Have you tried the school counselor? Can you share what your concerns are for your kids?

I’m so sorry for your loss. Do you have any support? Are you local to DC? Maybe we can share resources with you.

^ignore that question if it will compromise your anonymity. But I would definitely seek out professional support, grief groups, etc.

OP, it sounds like there have been multiple attempts with these teachers? I would imagine they’d be extra sensitive and concerned for your kids well-being after such a loss; their passivity is appalling.

I would email the principal after a few days and let them know you have had difficulty reaching the teacher. Have you tried the school counselor? Can you share what your concerns are for your kids?

I’m so sorry for your loss. Do you have any support? Are you local to DC? Maybe we can share resources with you.

You need to reflect on and reevaluate your own behavior because you’re being ignored as an intervention. Ignoring unwanted or unwelcome behavior is a tool many people use to manage problematic individuals they can’t avoid.

If you’re worried about how your children are doing following their parent’s death, you could talk to school counselor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this happen to you often? Seems like an odd thing to ruminate about if its a one time thing.

A truck ran into my spouse while he was out for a bike ride, and he died. People don’t answer my emails or calls now. Teachers are ignoring my kids. It’s like we are evaporating. How do I deal with it? Why do people feel the need to say that’s odd? Is it odd to want to be answered?

OP, it isn’t odd at all and that poster is a gross ahole, and power-tripping because they lack character. Look at how weak and dirty they are with their response. You’re above them. They’re an internet nothing.

For the school stuff, push gently and in nonemotional language up the line.

For friends, hold onto the most empathetic and considerate ones. The others are worthless.

I am so sorry. I am hoping you’ll feel even just a bit better sooner than you think.

Thank you for this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this happen to you often? Seems like an odd thing to ruminate about if its a one time thing.

A truck ran into my spouse while he was out for a bike ride, and he died. People don’t answer my emails or calls now. Teachers are ignoring my kids. It’s like we are evaporating. How do I deal with it? Why do people feel the need to say that’s odd? Is it odd to want to be answered?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It is painful to be ignored and ghosted. I have a mentally ill family member doing this to me.

I don't think they are always ignoring so much as unable to respond as quickly as you'd like. With texts, it's possible they forget because they read your text while too busy to respond.

If I need an answer, I ask again and include a deadline when I need a response and if that doesn't work I cc someone higher than them.