Family of 4 invited, but didn’t attend. What would you give then? Child is not a close friend.

Give what you would give if the three of you went to a wedding. multiples of 18 are nice but not necessary. I would probably give $180.

What about when you are not invited to a small ceremony? We are close to the grandparents but have not seen the celebrant often. Did not expect an invitation, especially when we heard it would be very small (fewer than 40 guests), but would like to honor the child on this auspicious occasion. Does $54 sound right?

Nothing for the gift grabber.

DS has his bar mitzvah soon. From out of town family friends who cannot make it, we've gotten: $90, $100, $180, and a gift that appears to be about $60 online.

We went to a bat mitzvah as a family last week and gave $90.

$90-$100 feels about right to me... that's up from $72 a few years ago. $180 seemed very generous.

For the PP that said gift cards are annoying... it's much easier for my kid to spend an Amazon gift card than cash.

[quote=Anonymous]Does the gift have to be money, can it be a gift card for a clothes store or Sephora or Amazon. And why this number 54$. What about inflation? I am surely don’t know but I am also invited but I am a Christian. If the number has a sweet meeting, can it be 77? Or 70 or a nice 100 like perfect. [/quote]

18 in Hebrew is spelled the same way as the word for Life, so it's traditional to put that in somehow.

Inflation means multiples of 18.

Gift cards are annoying because they have to saved and it might not be what the recipient wants. Money is more flexible. This is true for any gift, not just Bar Mitzvah

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly the expensive gives are unpleasant, because it promotes this culture of people passing large amounts of money back and forth, and worrying about staying balanced.

If you are rich and the honored person is not, if it's are an older generation and want to pass money to the next generation, then give a lot. Otherwise, $18 to $54 per guest. If you are Jewish, give more than non-Jewish. For non-Jews, sitting through the service is part of the gift.

This is so disgusting to say. Sitting through the service is a gift?! It’s an honor to be invited! Shame on you.

Stfu

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly the expensive gives are unpleasant, because it promotes this culture of people passing large amounts of money back and forth, and worrying about staying balanced.

If you are rich and the honored person is not, if it's are an older generation and want to pass money to the next generation, then give a lot. Otherwise, $18 to $54 per guest. If you are Jewish, give more than non-Jewish. For non-Jews, sitting through the service is part of the gift.

This is so disgusting to say. Sitting through the service is a gift?! It’s an honor to be invited! Shame on you.

It's an honor to be invited to the party.

You're sitting through a couple hours of a different religious service in a foreign language, listening to prayers that talk a lot about how the Jews are God's chosen people who are destined to conquer other nations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is going to his first one at a local restaurant (not a hall) and feels like $54 is "too much to give a friend."

$54 was considered low in the ‘90’s!

Ignore this person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please search for the myriad of posts on this topic.

Seriously. There are SO many.

Oh vey you’re a true yenta

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly the expensive gives are unpleasant, because it promotes this culture of people passing large amounts of money back and forth, and worrying about staying balanced.

If you are rich and the honored person is not, if it's are an older generation and want to pass money to the next generation, then give a lot. Otherwise, $18 to $54 per guest. If you are Jewish, give more than non-Jewish. For non-Jews, sitting through the service is part of the gift.

Thank you for your response 🙏 I will follow your guidance.

You only like what PP said because they’re the only one in this thread who said to give $18. You should have just announced you’re cheap and how little can you get away with giving.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly the expensive gives are unpleasant, because it promotes this culture of people passing large amounts of money back and forth, and worrying about staying balanced.

If you are rich and the honored person is not, if it's are an older generation and want to pass money to the next generation, then give a lot. Otherwise, $18 to $54 per guest. If you are Jewish, give more than non-Jewish. For non-Jews, sitting through the service is part of the gift.

This is so disgusting to say. Sitting through the service is a gift?! It’s an honor to be invited! Shame on you.

Anonymous wrote:My kid is going to his first one at a local restaurant (not a hall) and feels like $54 is "too much to give a friend."

$54 was considered low in the ‘90’s!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please search for the myriad of posts on this topic.

Seriously. There are SO many.

But not for when parents are also invited

+1. This is not just a random school friend. It’s a close friend whose parents were also invited.

I hosted a 2024 bar mitzvah. Child received a range of gifts (and none). I’d say most guests in your category (good friend of child, plus parents invited) gave $180. Don’t feel pressure but that was the most common.