Question. Do celeb surrogates also get their expenses taken care? I guess yes right? Is there a ballpark for how much they're usually paid?

I have complex feelings toward it. I don't think it's always about a financial gain. Some women are like pregnancy and want to help others. It'd a dangerous line to be toeing. That imbalance of power feels gross especially if the surrogate is from a lower bracket

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You women with pregnancy-caused ruined bodies sound *sooo* jealous.

--mom of 3 adopted kids who still has her perfect body

You have a “perfect” body and we have our own kids with perfect bodies, jealous one.

Enough. Granted, the first post about the perfect body suggested earlier posts were implying a different conversation and/or was deflecting attention away from an interesting and burgeoning discussion about surrogacy and cultural norms in favor of a fight.

The earlier conversation will be lost when people are flat out mean. Drop that rope. Instead, pick up the interesting part of the post: how does adoption fit into the larger conversation?

I don’t think adoption is even in the same ballpark as surrogacy.

Anonymous wrote:I am more concerned about the women who agree to do it. Having a baby for money seems
like a character flaw. I don’t know if I’d be able to trust someone like that to care for my child during pregnancy. I’d want to monitor everything but then that feels inhumane, this person is just a vessel that I’m paying to fulfill my need.

I actually totally get why women do it. I had a terrible pregnancy but some women just have really easy and uncomplicated pregnancies. And even with my awful pregnancy I still liked the feeling of being pregnant and was so amazed at what my body was able to do. Obviously the childbirth is the hard part but I again if your body handles pregnancies and childbirth well and you have a history of recovering well it is awesome that a human body can do that and I remember feeling proud of myself after giving birth in a way I had not felt before.

I met a woman with a surrogate pregnancy a few years ago through one of my DC's activities (her DC was in the same one). She was open about it because people kept congratulating her on the pregnancy and she didn't want people being worried or confused when she didn't show up with another child after it was over. She told me that while money had been a factor (what she earned went straight into a college account for her kid) the reason she'd become interested in it was that she and her husband knew they were one and done for themselves but she was really sad not to be able to go through pregnancy again. This was a way fo rher to experience that again while also helping another family and without expanding their family more than they wanted. She was young and in great health and had an easy pregnancy. I think before I met her I also kind of thought "why would anyone do that" (though less judgmental than you) and now I get it. I no longer think it's that weird at all even if it's something I'd personally never do because pregnancy is really hard for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You women with pregnancy-caused ruined bodies sound *sooo* jealous.

--mom of 3 adopted kids who still has her perfect body

You have a “perfect” body and we have our own kids with perfect bodies, jealous one.

Enough. Granted, the first post about the perfect body suggested earlier posts were implying a different conversation and/or was deflecting attention away from an interesting and burgeoning discussion about surrogacy and cultural norms in favor of a fight.

The earlier conversation will be lost when people are flat out mean. Drop that rope. Instead, pick up the interesting part of the post: how does adoption fit into the larger conversation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All different reasons. I know one celeb who has bipolar disorder and she both didn't want to go off her meds and didn't want to expose a baby to her meds. So, surrogate.

A bipolar individual should not be a parent.

Tell that to my friend who is the mother to two happy and successful boys in college . She has been on medication for 20 plus years, has a supportive husband, a full time job, friends and if she didn’t tell us we would have no idea.

Anonymous wrote:I am more concerned about the women who agree to do it. Having a baby for money seems
like a character flaw. I don’t know if I’d be able to trust someone like that to care for my child during pregnancy. I’d want to monitor everything but then that feels inhumane, this person is just a vessel that I’m paying to fulfill my need.

PP who knew of surrogate for soap opera actress. The surrogate was very religious (evangelical) and saw it as doing a good deed. She probably also needed the money. I agree that it would be nerve-wracking because you'd want to know everything about their diet, etc. The soap opera actress was in her late 40s or 50s.

Anonymous wrote:All different reasons. I know one celeb who has bipolar disorder and she both didn't want to go off her meds and didn't want to expose a baby to her meds. So, surrogate.

A bipolar individual should not be a parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am more concerned about the women who agree to do it. Having a baby for money seems
like a character flaw. I don’t know if I’d be able to trust someone like that to care for my child during pregnancy. I’d want to monitor everything but then that feels inhumane, this person is just a vessel that I’m paying to fulfill my need.

I think some women genuinely enjoy being pregnant and also feel like they are helping someone. Especially if they are helping a family with infertility.

We interviewed a potential nanny who already had two of her own and had been a surrogate twice for gay male couples. She was planning on getting pregnant again for one of the couples to give them a sibling. She was totally open with us about all of this. Unfortunately the timing wasn’t going to work out for us given the impending pregnancy.

She was Brazilian, in this country legally, and in her mid 30s. And, frankly, she had a great body for someone who had given birth four times. Petite curvy fit. She said she got pregnant very easily and enjoyed the pregnancy process. She was very clearheaded and factual about all of it. I think you need to be able to compartmentalize this part of your life.

All different reasons. I know one celeb who has bipolar disorder and she both didn't want to go off her meds and didn't want to expose a baby to her meds. So, surrogate.

I have a specialist doc who just had 2 kids in 2 years via a surrogate She was not interested in taking time off from her practice.

My sister was a gestational carrier for 2 families. She was paid more than 100K each time. She intends to do it one more time for each family to create siblings.

Its more acceptable to talk about it, probably was kept hush hush in past. This technology is quite old. Unless there is a health issue and they use a volunteer, it sounds like rich people buying unborn children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am more concerned about the women who agree to do it. Having a baby for money seems
like a character flaw. I don’t know if I’d be able to trust someone like that to care for my child during pregnancy. I’d want to monitor everything but then that feels inhumane, this person is just a vessel that I’m paying to fulfill my need.

I think some women genuinely enjoy being pregnant and also feel like they are helping someone. Especially if they are helping a family with infertility.

Like the lady who was a surrogate for a colleague who had a messy divorce soon after.

Anonymous wrote:I am more concerned about the women who agree to do it. Having a baby for money seems
like a character flaw. I don’t know if I’d be able to trust someone like that to care for my child during pregnancy. I’d want to monitor everything but then that feels inhumane, this person is just a vessel that I’m paying to fulfill my need.

I think some women genuinely enjoy being pregnant and also feel like they are helping someone. Especially if they are helping a family with infertility.

Our culture is weird.