Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a few at the extremes that are quite memorable. If someone was very generous to us or now, our children, yes, I spent more on their gift (or for their kids). At the low end, there are only a few, but one couple gave us two dish towels and another set of three couples (older parents and two of their children who were married) went together to purchase a single spoon from our silver. At the time (early 90s), it was about $11 split between the three couples. At the time I wished that I could have returned the spoon and refunded their money so that I didn't have to write three Thank You notes. Yeah, I would probably remember those if invited to a wedding in their family.

The silver spoon was clearly a rude message, no?

Anonymous wrote:I give gifts based on my current situation. So when my friend in our group of four best friends from college got married at 24, we gifted her things we could afford at the time. When another one got married at 34, she got better gifts because our incomes were all much larger. I think reciprocity like you're suggesting sounds like a tit for tat situation, which I personally dislike.