If I was dating someone who belonged to a country club that I could not afford to join and we were in a long term but non-marital relationship I'd be happy he had some place to go to get out of my hair.

Sounds like you are dating as you talk about a long term relationship being in the future.


What is the real concern? At 50, most people are fine with and actually enjoy some time apart

Is he a member of Fight Club? You know the first rule of Fight Club is....

Anonymous wrote:My guess is OP was previously a member of the club (she said her BF is "still" a member). And Op's ex husband is still a member and OP has no interest in being involved in this club because of her ex. And her BF spends all his free time there.

I think people who spend all their free time at clubs are weird, honestly.

I know a couple like this but I'm pretty sure their club is broke because they are constantly posting like, "Please come to this event, it is $250 per person!" and then they act shocked when no one spends $500 for two people to go to a book signing and still have to pay for cocktails at the cash bar on top of it.

Do you want to go? Does he never invite you? Have you talked to him about it?

Anonymous wrote:He spends a lot of time at least 3x a week at a private club where I am not a member. I will not ever be a member. He texts me photos sometimes.

He talks about it a lot.

I am not jealous. I don't begrudge him.

However, I don't see us ever marrying each other. If we are in a long term relationship, I am wondering how this will play out.

Cool story.

My guess is OP was previously a member of the club (she said her BF is "still" a member). And Op's ex husband is still a member and OP has no interest in being involved in this club because of her ex. And her BF spends all his free time there.

I think people who spend all their free time at clubs are weird, honestly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How couldn't you be a member if you get married? Is it a men's club?

We are over 50. Neither of us want to re-marry.

I am asking, what would you do?

How do you think this will play out long-term?

Let's say, five years from now. We are living together. Not married.

He still belongs to the club. I don't.

Let's just say it's a swimming pool and tennis and racquetball club.

I'm not sure why this is even a question. If they had events of interest to me, I would go. If I didn't have any interest, I would not go.

My friend has no interest in getting married, so she's only ever had boyfriends, never a husband. She is a member of a private city club here in DC. Some of her boyfriends have been more interested in club events and activities than others, so they go to those with her. Some of her boyfriends are not interested. They just don't go.

Frankly, I think spending three nights a week at like, U Club or City Tavern Club is kind of weird, but to each their own. Idk why you can't go. Is it men only?

Anonymous wrote:What is with the vaguebooking on DCUM lately? This and the "he told me to put on a tinfoil hat" poster need to learn how to write an OP.

Private club is = Country club? Gentleman's club? Capitol Hill Club?

Come on, OP.

+1
I'm over it.

Could you please articulate what the actual issue is?

Is it him going 3 days a week?
Is it because you can't go too?
Do you even want to go?

I don't understand. Are you not going to become a member because you don't share the interest? If so, what's the problem?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How couldn't you be a member if you get married? Is it a men's club?

We are over 50. Neither of us want to re-marry.

I am asking, what would you do?

How do you think this will play out long-term?

Let's say, five years from now. We are living together. Not married.

He still belongs to the club. I don't.

Let's just say it's a swimming pool and tennis and racquetball club.

If you are not married you can go as a guest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How couldn't you be a member if you get married? Is it a men's club?

We are over 50. Neither of us want to re-marry.

I am asking, what would you do?

How do you think this will play out long-term?

Let's say, five years from now. We are living together. Not married.

He still belongs to the club. I don't.

Let's just say it's a swimming pool and tennis and racquetball club.

Oh, he’s at a member at Burning Tree. Then things would continue as they are now. He’s not going to give up Burning Tree.

So this is a fancy pants country club that you can’t join because of the money and membership connections? You are asking what we think if he is member of the club and you are not because he’ll be going to this social
Many times a week without you?

Why will you never be a member? Even in 5 years?