We have a standing Sunday morning Facetime. Sometimes it's a slog, but last Sunday, we had a great time laughing at some minor ailments and appliance repair miseries life threw at us. For example, my parents had an appointment to repair their large window right when they the remnants of a hurricane come upon them. The repairman came anyway, and did his best. It was epic. That sort of thing.

I cut my mother's hair and I bought my dad, who is a retired chef, a food processor because his hands are too arthritic to prep a lot of vegetables but he still loves to cook

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom lived alone and for the last 3 years of her life we paid people $75 plus free lunch to pick her up, take her to lunch and shopping/run errands. They were to spend 3-4 hours with her.

This happened 2-4x per week. Some were people we knew that needed a little extra money, sometimes it was my nieces, etc. Always people we knew that just needed a little money.

She passed away last.

It really was awesome for her to get out a few times a week.

I think this is lovely. I wish I had thought of that.

I wish I had $400/week to even contemplate doing this.

Just talked to my parents who live in another country. They live with my sibling and her family. Mom and dad are financially well-off and so is my sibling, so they have a lot of domestic staff to help - daily chef, cleaner, pet-walker, lawn service, medical attendent etc. I am going to stay with them for 2 months, while my sibling and her DH go on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to 9 countries without worries.

Not my parent, but my neighbor of many years. She is bird like, just a tiny little thing and has severe osteoporosis. She’s in assisted living now recovering from a fall and can’t go out. After 40 years in her home she misses it and the neighborhood terribly. I went to our neighborhood shops and took pictures of lots of things so she could start Christmas shopping for her daughter/SIL/grandchildren who live overseas.

I moved 'everything' into the shed and garage from her yard, that could blow away in a hurricane. TWICE in two weeks, thanks Helene and Milton! Boy does she have a lot of potted plants haha.

Thankfully, damage was only one lonely roof shingle, that I glued back on. And brought everything back out. Again. She's happy that her beloved plants survived and my back will recover I'm sure

Before my Mom died, I spent time with her. I listened. I sympathized — as well as I could — with the restrictions on her formerly active and independent life. And listening meant doing some running around. When she talked nostalgically about enjoying winesap apples as a child — I found her some. I lugged over her own Christmas tree and decorations to her assisted living apartment, along with ribbons and branches — so that she was able to make her own door decorations and swags (plus one for me). I brought her photograph albums that she had assembled over the years — and listened to her share her memories.

A friend did something really wonderful: She arranged for a car service to take my wheelchair bound Mom on outings. My Mom enjoyed planning them. They ranged from places like the Arboretum to driving around the city where my Mom was born, while she shared her memories with us.

So, not this week, but kind things that mattered.

Registered their car
Completed their taxes
Updated their home insurance
Met with AL for possible additional care needs
Decluttered their stuff which they never bothered to do before moving
Ordered them pants
Shopping for shoes for them
Shopped for air cleaners for them
Arranged repair of their bathroom
Arranged repair of a wall
Talked to them
Took them food
Spent time with them at a concert

I’m exhausted.

I work and have a family and my own stuff to do on top of all that.

Took them fresh flowers and a refill of snacks.

Sent him lunch, which he didn’t eat. Cleaned his apartment. Made arrangements to get his housed cleaned ( which he destroyed with hoarding) so he can move out of assisted living apt. And return home. Paid all his bills, bought him breakfast this am. He has been boycotting food and refuses to go out of his AL apartment. Won’t bathe. But not demented or incompetent just depressed. Won’t see a dr or psychiatrist.

My husband let me know I’m being irresponsible with his care for letting him return home; dad let me know I’m being a bad daughter because I don’t want him out of AL. Damned if I do or don’t. I’m just so tired. Only child.

I'm visiting for the weekend

My mom died at 90 in 2014 but I went over to check on my 90 year old friend after the hurricane to make sure she was okay, which she was despite living alone. I also regularly get prescriptions for my 85 year old neighbor who can no longer drive. I also hang out and play cards and generally have a good time with my many elderly neighbors as well as my less elderly neighbors who are nearer my age which is late 60s.

Bought mom ground coffee, put gas in her car (which yes, she shouldn't be driving), took her dog to the groomer, and am taking her out for dinner with a cousin tomorrow night. Grateful that she's still independent enough that those are the kind of things I can do, rather than the harder stuff, most of the time.

Weekly house clean & laundry, bought over home-cooked meal (just became empty nesters, but still cook same amount) - my mom is very capable just more lazy with age lol

Anonymous wrote:My mom lived alone and for the last 3 years of her life we paid people $75 plus free lunch to pick her up, take her to lunch and shopping/run errands. They were to spend 3-4 hours with her.

This happened 2-4x per week. Some were people we knew that needed a little extra money, sometimes it was my nieces, etc. Always people we knew that just needed a little money.

She passed away last.

It really was awesome for her to get out a few times a week.

I think this is lovely. I wish I had thought of that.