Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is in the wrong place. Let me start off my saying that I’m a SMBC. My child (6) wanted to have a play date with a friend from her kindergarten class last year. I exchanged numbers with her mom at the end of the school year to try to work something out. Her child has been busy most of the summer with vacations and camps so we lost contact for awhile. She reached out about a week ago to set up a play date. I offered to have it at my house and sent the address. She responded back a few days later and said, she would prefer to have it at her house. I didn’t really think anything of it so we scheduled it. The kids had their play date and in the end, they said the next time they can have it at our house. I said I was fine with that, but the other mother said it’s not a good idea. I asked her why not, she didn’t want to discuss it in front of the kids. She sent me a text that evening and said she doesn’t feel comfortable with her child at my house due to my “lifestyle” and where I live. I asked her what lifestyle is that? She said, me being a single mom. She also added that my address had an apartment number (I actually live in a townhouse style condo) and she knows what goes on with single moms in apartment buildings. I asked what, and she said drugs and violence and women having men in and out of her place. She didn’t want her child exposed to that. I’m completely livid! I can’t even believe how harshly thing woman judged me, but doesn’t know anything about me or my life. At this point, I don’t even want my child at their house, but I know they would be crushed. Not sure how I should handle this. Any advice?

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is in the wrong place. Let me start off my saying that I’m a SMBC. My child (6) wanted to have a play date with a friend from her kindergarten class last year. I exchanged numbers with her mom at the end of the school year to try to work something out. Her child has been busy most of the summer with vacations and camps so we lost contact for awhile. She reached out about a week ago to set up a play date. I offered to have it at my house and sent the address. She responded back a few days later and said, she would prefer to have it at her house. I didn’t really think anything of it so we scheduled it. The kids had their play date and in the end, they said the next time they can have it at our house. I said I was fine with that, but the other mother said it’s not a good idea. I asked her why not, she didn’t want to discuss it in front of the kids. She sent me a text that evening and said she doesn’t feel comfortable with her child at my house due to my “lifestyle” and where I live. I asked her what lifestyle is that? She said, me being a single mom. She also added that my address had an apartment number (I actually live in a townhouse style condo) and she knows what goes on with single moms in apartment buildings. I asked what, and she said drugs and violence and women having men in and out of her place. She didn’t want her child exposed to that. I’m completely livid! I can’t even believe how harshly thing woman judged me, but doesn’t know anything about me or my life. At this point, I don’t even want my child at their house, but I know they would be crushed. Not sure how I should handle this. Any advice?

Anonymous wrote:troll

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is in the wrong place. Let me start off my saying that I’m a SMBC. My child (6) wanted to have a play date with a friend from her kindergarten class last year. I exchanged numbers with her mom at the end of the school year to try to work something out. Her child has been busy most of the summer with vacations and camps so we lost contact for awhile. She reached out about a week ago to set up a play date. I offered to have it at my house and sent the address. She responded back a few days later and said, she would prefer to have it at her house. I didn’t really think anything of it so we scheduled it. The kids had their play date and in the end, they said the next time they can have it at our house. I said I was fine with that, but the other mother said it’s not a good idea. I asked her why not, she didn’t want to discuss it in front of the kids. She sent me a text that evening and said she doesn’t feel comfortable with her child at my house due to my “lifestyle” and where I live. I asked her what lifestyle is that? She said, me being a single mom. She also added that my address had an apartment number (I actually live in a townhouse style condo) and she knows what goes on with single moms in apartment buildings. I asked what, and she said drugs and violence and women having men in and out of her place. She didn’t want her child exposed to that. I’m completely livid! I can’t even believe how harshly thing woman judged me, but doesn’t know anything about me or my life. At this point, I don’t even want my child at their house, but I know they would be crushed. Not sure how I should handle this. Any advice?

Anonymous wrote:If someone said anything like that to me I would never speak to them again and I would not send my kid to their house. Six is too young to explain this to so I'd wait and see if your DD asks to see this friend again and then try to come up with some excuse why you can't do playdates. I wouldn't exclude the child from anything due to her mom (like if your kid has a birthday party I would invite her) but I wouldn't agree to anymore playdates at her house.

It's a hard situation but they can still be friends at school. You want to be careful not to trigger a falling out between the girls because this mom is very likely to bad mouth you to her kid or other moms if that happens. So I'd look to say as little as possible but simply avoid them moving forward.

I am sorry this happened but also: if it wasn't your single status it could be anything. We live in an apartment and definitely feel judgment and prejudice from other families for that. I've been judged for the kinds of vacations we take and being a mom of an only and having a kid past age 35 and sending my kid to public. I've been judged for giving my DD a traditionally feminine name and "letting" her do ballet (some people think you are supposed to give girls more masculine names and push them in to sports so they can be "competitive" with boys).

It's all BS. The people who judge on these things are universally insecure about their own parenting and just trying to convince themselves that they are doing it right. Ignore them. If it wasn't this it would be something else because it's not really about you. It's about their own fears and insecurities.